photo by Ester Siroky
Showing posts sorted by date for query do it well. Sort by relevance Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by date for query do it well. Sort by relevance Show all posts
Sunday, April 29, 2018
Limited time offer
I wrote this when I was frustrated, so it's not as poetic as some:
SandraDodd.com/doit
photo by Ester Siroky
photo by Ester Siroky
Friday, January 12, 2018
Souls and minds
SandraDodd.com/spirituality
photo by Lydia Koltai
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Wednesday, January 10, 2018
Step it up
Do It.
If you're going to unschool, do it now and do it well.
Part of doing it "well" is moving into it deliberately and with clarity, and going gradually, but by "gradually" I don't mean over five or ten years. Childhood lives in weeks, days and hours, not in months, years and decades.
but the quote is from page 20 of
The Big Book of Unschooling
photo by Megan Valnes
Saturday, October 28, 2017
Give them hope
Probably [doubters and critics] are sincerely concerned for your children, so try to be grateful for that, or at least to understand it.
. . . .
The nicest thing to say might be "Thanks, I'll think about it." If they say he might need some type of school, you could say yeah, someday he might. I liked to tell people that things were going well, but if that changed we would do something different. That gave them hope, and that was good for all of us. And it was true.
What Can I Say to Doubters and Critics?
photo by Cátia Maciel
The nicest thing to say might be "Thanks, I'll think about it." If they say he might need some type of school, you could say yeah, someday he might. I liked to tell people that things were going well, but if that changed we would do something different. That gave them hope, and that was good for all of us. And it was true.
photo by Cátia Maciel
Friday, September 8, 2017
2500 posts
Thank you for reading Just Add Light and Stir! If you receive this by e-mail, or see it on facebook or on my website somewhere, please do click through to the blog where it lives.
If you usually see this on a phone, occasionally go in with an iPad/tablet or computer, and click through to some of the older posts while you're there. Phones don't show it nicely. There are 2500 pieces of art there (word and photo combos), carefully formatted, with links to related posts. Use this resource happily and well, and may unschooling continue to blossom and flourish in your life.
(there's a great list of milestone numbers there)
Wednesday, July 5, 2017
An examined life
"I think to do unschooling well, it is a fundamental element to have an examined life. To be mindful of our choices and understand our thought processes." —Rippy Dusseldorp |
photo by Sarah Dickinson
Monday, June 19, 2017
Time is inconsistent
We can't live in "how will I survive this?" time nor can we live well by pining for that past we've already lived through. The best way to get through must be to do a better thing. If a conscious thought about time passage comes, think of what will be an improvement, and make that choice, however tiny, however slight.
Avoiding regret, contributing joy...
time will flow as it will,
but we can move closer to peace.
SandraDodd.com/change/
photo by Sandra Dodd, on a carousel in Austin
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Friday, March 24, 2017
Be that way
Joyce Fetteroll wrote:
Treat them the way you want them to treat others - It's easy to be nice when the kids are nice. The kids need to see how people (you) can be patient and kind when life isn't going smoothly. They need to see how to work with someone whose view is different. They will get to see that by how you treat them when their view is different from yours. If you treat their needs and feelings as less important, they'll learn to treat other's needs and feelings as less important. And then when you're old and bedridden, they'll say, "No, you don't need more tea, no, you don't need to finish that TV program. I have other things to do than tending to your needs. Can't you see how busy I am?"
SandraDodd.com/happychildhood
photo by Erika Andromeda, of a patient child and his well-loved Great Grannny
Treat them the way you want them to treat others - It's easy to be nice when the kids are nice. The kids need to see how people (you) can be patient and kind when life isn't going smoothly. They need to see how to work with someone whose view is different. They will get to see that by how you treat them when their view is different from yours. If you treat their needs and feelings as less important, they'll learn to treat other's needs and feelings as less important. And then when you're old and bedridden, they'll say, "No, you don't need more tea, no, you don't need to finish that TV program. I have other things to do than tending to your needs. Can't you see how busy I am?"
—Joyce Fetteroll
SandraDodd.com/happychildhood
photo by Erika Andromeda, of a patient child and his well-loved Great Grannny
Sunday, August 28, 2016
Cleaning the future
I had been unschooling for years before a few people suggested on a message board that requiring kids to do chores could be as bad as making them do schoolwork. I perked up immediately, and everything they said has proven true at our house. The first principle was "If a mess is bothering you, YOU clean it up." Another one was "Do things for your family because you *want* to!"
It was new to me to consider housework a fun thing to be done with a happy attitude, but as it has changed my life and because it fit in so well with the other unschooling issues, I've collected things to help others consider this change as well.
In the same way that food controls can create food issues, forcing housework on children can cause resentments and avoidances which neither get houses clean nor improve the relationships between children and parents.
Also, studies of separated identical twins have shown that the desire and ability to clean and organize has more to do with genetics than "training."
photo by Sandra Dodd
"That's a rad picture; I think I was eleven." —Holly
Wednesday, February 24, 2016
Better moments, days, and weeks
photo by Charles Lagacé
Saturday, February 6, 2016
Support and accept
Jenny Cyphers wrote:
I really can't imagine villifying anything in their lives that they might find very exciting. Well, I can imagine it, so I guess that's why I don't do it.
—Jenny Cyphers
photo by Susanna Waters
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Friday, August 28, 2015
Brilliant and effective
Karen James wrote:
I rarely (if ever) say to others, or even to myself, that I'm a Radical Unschooler. I do, however, tell any person interested that we find unschooling to be the best approach to learning in our home. For me, it's not about being something. It's about living in a way that best meets all of our needs. Radical unschooling meets all of our needs brilliantly and effectively. It's deep. It takes dedication and close attention to understand and put into practice well. The proof of how well it is working can be seen and felt in the nature of our days together.
—Karen James
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Saturday, March 7, 2015
The wondrous now
Don't separate your children from the future, from progress, and from understanding and using things just because the parents don't understand them or use them as well as they might. Don't hobble your child out of fear or superstition or trying to impress people you don't even know who want to scare and shame you. Be your child's partner. Lift him up and let him see.
photo by Sandra Dodd, of sculpture and shadows in Albuquerque,
to share around the world, without printing, paper or postage
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Friday, October 3, 2014
In the moment
Pam Sorooshian wrote:
There are times in life that you won't feel like you can take care of others around you as well as you'd like. You need nurturing yourself and other people's neediness starts to be draining on you.
I've felt that, too.
But I've also found that if I focus more on "seeing" my kids with loving-eyes focus, consciously choose to pay attention to what I love about them, then I actually begin to feel more nourished and strengthened by them, and by the very acts of caring for them.
Partly what is so draining is that your mind is on other things while your kids want your attentiveness on them. So you feel pulled and that is stressful. If you can, try to stop thinking about the other stuff and focus on the little details of what you're doing at the moment. If your child wants pasta at midnight (just happened here), then you go put the water in the pot and put it on the stove. While you're doing that, concentrate on feeling the coldness of the water, the heaviness of the pot as it fills with water. Hear the sound of the water running.
It is late and I'm not being as articulate as I'd like—but what I'm saying is to practice being totally "in the moment" by noticing every sensation—sound, touch, smell, etc. Especially do this in regard to your children—touch them, smell them, listen to the sound of their voices, and so on.
Even if you only manage to get into this heightened state of mind for a minute or two at a time, do it as often as you think of it throughout your day. Each minute will be refreshing—it is a form of meditation that you can do while you're going about your daily activities.
—Pam Sorooshian
photo by Janice Casamina Ancheta
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
I'm not guessing.
photo by Sandra Dodd
P.S.
Just because it *can* work doesn't mean that a family can't fail. If you're going to unschool, do it well. Find your own confidence. Help is available.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Clearly living
"It's not about being great or reaching lofty goals. If that happens—awesome! To me though, a life well lived is one where our motivation for doing what we do is clear in our own minds and hearts."
—Karen James
photo by Sandra Dodd
Monday, April 22, 2013
Happy monkey
I went to the grocery store alone. It was crowded and people were moving fast, but were calm and smiling. I saw three young children. Their relatives were being very sweet to all of them. In other families, older kids were being helpful.
On the way to my van, a man who was 35 or 40 was happily riding the back of his shopping cart down the hill toward his car, with the wind blowing his hair.
On the way home, I thought of the cutest thing I had heard. A young mom had been holding a toddler, and he said something and touched her mouth. She said, "Monkey?"
He indicated that she was right.
"You're a monkey?"
"Happy," he said.
"You're a happy monkey? Happy monkey!"
And he was. He was very happy.
So easily, we can tip two degrees over into the sorrows and fears of the world. Without trying, we can fall into a pool of despair and take our friends and families down with us.
Not everyone can be happy today, but if your child is whole and well, for one moment or for ten do your part to help him be as happy a monkey as he can be.
photo by Julie D
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Friday, April 5, 2013
Unschooling breathes life into learning
"Unschooling is not an easy educational and lifestyle choice. It takes energy and dedication to do it well. But it is absolutely a viable alternative to the conventional system—even more so with each passing year. It focuses on each person as an individual and breathes life into the concept of lifelong learning. It also calls for developing strong relationships with your children—relationships that will last far beyond their compulsory schooling years. It's life." —Pam Laricchia
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photo by Holly Dodd
Friday, February 8, 2013
Too much noise
I woke up with voices in my head, but it was my own voice. Too many words. "What if...?" and "How will...?"
The peace and safety of my children, even though they're young adults, was running through my mind, and what could go wrong, and what if one of them makes a bad decision, or an awkward mistake, or forgets to do something, or...
Then I remembered what I was doing at their age, each of them. Most of it ended up needing to be undone, or recovered from. But I remember, and those things informed my decisions ever after.
An agitated mom won't help any of us. And the agitation didn't show. It was nothing but thoughts racing and tumbling, tighter-than-necessary muscles, so early in the morning.
I made moves to calm myself, and to take several small positive steps. Breathe. Put clean cutlery away. Fill the birdfeeders. Feed the cat. Check on Holly, who isn't feeling well and was muttering in her bed.
And I began to think of things to be grateful for this morning. My children are alive and healthy. They are thoughtful and energetic. We have seed to give birds, and food for our cats. Holly has a good pillow and warm covers. She will feel better.
I can breathe and be still and not be knocked down by thoughts. Thoughts can lift me up. I can turn down the volume. I can switch channels.
SandraDodd.com/gratitude
photo by Sandra Dodd
The peace and safety of my children, even though they're young adults, was running through my mind, and what could go wrong, and what if one of them makes a bad decision, or an awkward mistake, or forgets to do something, or...
Then I remembered what I was doing at their age, each of them. Most of it ended up needing to be undone, or recovered from. But I remember, and those things informed my decisions ever after.
An agitated mom won't help any of us. And the agitation didn't show. It was nothing but thoughts racing and tumbling, tighter-than-necessary muscles, so early in the morning.
I made moves to calm myself, and to take several small positive steps. Breathe. Put clean cutlery away. Fill the birdfeeders. Feed the cat. Check on Holly, who isn't feeling well and was muttering in her bed.
And I began to think of things to be grateful for this morning. My children are alive and healthy. They are thoughtful and energetic. We have seed to give birds, and food for our cats. Holly has a good pillow and warm covers. She will feel better.
I can breathe and be still and not be knocked down by thoughts. Thoughts can lift me up. I can turn down the volume. I can switch channels.
photo by Sandra Dodd
The photo is a link to something written when I had three teens.
They were 21, 24 and 26 on February 7, 2013, when I was worried in the morning.
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Thursday, January 17, 2013
Home and relationships
"'I'm working so hard on my marriage!!' doesn't mean a whole lot if you're putting your work in the wrong areas. And honestly, I find that all the 'effort' I put into my marriage is fun, and makes me happy. It is so good to know that our home is a place my husband wants to be, and that I can do things to help him be happy."
Aiden was writing in a discussion on facebook (linked below), about the importance of caring for marriages. Because many unschoolers have seen their marriages strengthened by the principles that make unschooling work well, I saw easily that it could be about parenting:
Aiden's comment in context
(if you go there you will see I started the quote in the middle of a sentence)
photo by Sandra Dodd
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—Aiden Wagner
"I'm working so hard on my parenting!!" doesn't mean a whole lot if you're putting your work in the wrong areas. And honestly, I find that all the "effort" I put into my parenting is fun, and makes me happy. It is so good to know that our home is a place my child wants to be, and that I can do things to help him be happy.
(if you go there you will see I started the quote in the middle of a sentence)
photo by Sandra Dodd
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