Doors to creativity

"Unschooling has inspired us all in so many ways, and opened doors to creativity that among other worries and insecurities we just didn't have time for before in the rush and busy of that old life! But mostly I needed to be inspired and have something meaningful and of value to write about, and now I have found it in this wonderful world of unschooling, and making so many new friends, and just so much positivity it's fantastic!" —Janine

photo by Sandra Dodd

Climb up a notch.

Tina Bragdon wrote:

For all you negative people out there, you really can change, but you have to want to change. That concept of changing the next moment is so powerful, especially if you feel overwhelmed like I did at the thought of a total life overhaul all at once. You can chose to read a little, try a little, wait a while, watch, and "climb up a notch." And even if it is "just" a tiiiiiinnny notch at first, the positivity and joy builds on the next moment and perpetuates itself, an beautiful ongoing circle as you climb up out of being cynical and negative.

And, the view is great up here!

—Tina Bragdon

Seeing and Avoiding Negativity
photo by Renee Cabatic
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More peaceful, more connected

A mom named Hannah wrote:

Unschooling has definitely changed my life for the better. Our family life is more peaceful and happy. I've stopped trying to control my husband (I had the best intentions at heart) and our marriage is more satisfying, we are much more connected and understanding of each other. I just let him be him and he lets me be me and we both work together for the good of the family.

—Hannah Brewin

SandraDodd.com/positivity
photo by Kelly Halldorson

Be careful

Improved is better than failed. Solid and long-lasting is better than painful and disrupted.

Be gentle, be careful, with your thoughts, responses, facial expressions, and touch. Be sweet and soft to your family.

SandraDodd.com/positivity
photo by Jo Isaac

Positivity from dark days

I have had a rough month. I hope yours was better! How can we know what is "rough" and what is "better," though, without considering the range of possibilities, or the variations in our own lives, at least?
March 31 is my wedding anniversary. People might read this afterwards, but in 2019, it's 35 years. And if you read this in 2019, my husband has been in the hospital since March 3. He had three cardiac arrests in one day. He's recovering well, though, which is statistically unexpected. It's easy for me to see this month as "bad." But is that fair? Keith is alive, and is in rehab getting his strength back, and telling me which bills to pay when, and from which account.

There are others reading who are grieving, or afraid, displaced, in dispute with a co-parent. Find the light moments, and the laughter, with your child. Be as soothing as you can be, because soothing them will also soothe you.

Be sweet; be well.
Comparisons and judgments
photo by Amy Milstein

More positive

In a world of choices, every choice that moves one toward positivity (hope, optimism, joy, sweetness, peace) and away from negativity (cynicism, anger, disdain, dismay, pessimism) is a solid step toward "better" (IF the person wants to be more positive).

In a world of partnership, when one partner is more positive, the partnership is more positive.

In a home with a mother, when the mother is more positive, the family's life is more positive.

SandraDodd.com/choices
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Positively winning

Someone else's question, and part of my answer:

As much as I read,... I seem to slide right back into schoolish ways. How long does it take to really break that bad habit?

Forever.

If you think of it in negative terms ("bad" and not just "break" but "really break"), you will just sit in that negativity, frustrated, forever. You will feel there had to be a winner (you) or a loser (you) and you will be angry with yourself.

The change you need is to live a different way. Step out of the grumpy dark into the calm decision-making choose-joy light.

SandraDodd.com/change
photo by Sandra Dodd

That was written before "Read a little, try a little, wait a while watch." It was also before the pages on Negativity and Positivity.

See the sweetness

Find the best in each moment, the best moments in each hour, and by focusing on what is sweet and good, you will help others see the sweetness and goodness, too.

SandraDodd.com/positivity
photo by Ester Siroky

Invest in your future grandchildren

Every negative word, thought or deed takes peace and positivity out of your account. Cynicism, sarcasm—which some people enjoy and defend—are costly, if your goal is peace.

Biochemically / emotionally (those two are separate in language, but physically they are the same), calmer is healthier. I don't know of any physical condition that is made better by freaking out or crying hard or losing sleep or reciting fears. I know LOTS of things that are made better—entire lives, and lives of grandchildren not yet born—by thoughtful, mindful clarity.

It's okay for mothers to be calm. There are plenty of childless people to flip out. Peek out every few days, from your calm place, and check whether their ranting freak-out is making the world a more peaceful place. If not, be grateful you weren't out there ignoring (or frightening) your children helping them fail to create peace from chaos.

A message to your grandchildren
photo by Jo Isaac

Upbeat and sweet

Doom and gloom make the world a gloomy, doomed place.

—Sandra Dodd

Here is a longer passage of something I wrote in 2016 on facebook:

I'm unfriending people I don't really know who are complaining about their kids, or about school, or about politics or the horrors of something or other.

I'm keeping people whose pages are upbeat and sweet, and more about them and their families than about corporate demons and evil foods. Doom and gloom make the world a gloomy, doomed place.

---

The post itself isn't very "upbeat and sweet" today,
but I hope parents who read it will be!
SandraDodd.com/positivity
photo by Jen Keefe

Invisible creations

Can a person create negativity? If so, a person should be able to create positivity.

"Happiness Inside and Out" (quote from the notes)
photo by Jaspreet Boparai

Positively joyful

Deb Lewis wrote:

Someone once suggested that having a joyful life as one of my goals was potentially damaging to my son because he wouldn't have an "authentic" experience (or something like that). I said I was willing to risk those terrible dangers.

—Deb Lewis

SandraDodd.com/positivity
photo by Sarah S.

Nurture and encourage

Can a person create negativity?
If so, a person should be able to create positivity.

Nurture and encourage and enable happiness.

Happiness Inside and Out
photo by Sadie Brown

Turn away (and smile)

Negativity is contagious poison. Turn just a little bit away from it. Then you can turn away easier the next time; and take a step away, and soon you aren't even standing by it.

SandraDodd.com/positivity
photo by Gail Higgins

(Because Erika D-P quoted me in 2013, I can share it with you in 2023 thanks to "Memories" on Facebook. The longer original is here at Radical Unschooling Info.)