Progress toward joy

Some of the things that help people be confidently in the moment, feeling satisfied and content are:

• Breathing
  
• Gratitude
  
• Happy thoughts
  
• Fondness
  
• Acceptance

At first it might be relief and not joy, but as relief is a step away from fear, more relief will be progress toward joy.

The Big Book of Unschooling, page 275 (or 318)
photo by Holly Dodd
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What makes things wonderful

The most common use of the word "wonder" these days is to express a question in a way that isn't likely to be answered, as in "I wonder when this tree will blossom?" It's also used to play with very young children with peek-a-boo games. "I wonder where Holly is? Where could she be? There she is!"

The deeper meaning of the word is what makes things wonderful. Full of wonder. Some adults are afraid of "wonder," though, because it involves relaxing into not understanding. It requires acceptance that one does not know. At its core, it is acceptance of and admiration for the mysterious and the hidden. It is taking joy in the revelation of simple things for which there are no words.

Similar page, SandraDodd.com/wonder
(though the quote is from page 279 (or 322) of The Big Book of Unschooling)
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Spontaneity, more than control

If you want to make the sun come up, first see what time it's expected to rise, and command it right at that moment.

If you want to make children do what you want, find out what they want to do and would enjoy doing, and make it seem like you've provided that thing or opportunity, if you want, at first, if it makes you feel like you made the sun come up. But those who insist that they should and can and will control another person often end up alone, emotionally if not physically.

To have a life of learning and joy, spontaneity is more important than control. Acceptance is more valuable than resistance.

The quote is from page 29 (or 32) of The Big Book of Unschooling but this link will work: SandraDodd.com/control

photo by Sandra Dodd
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Intentions matter.

Robyn Coburn wrote:

Intentions matter.

Guidance offered from the place of partnership and Trust has a different feeling, avoids rebellion, and is just plain less focused on the trivial. Guidance means optional acceptance instead of mandatory compliance. Guidance means parents being safety nets, not trap doors or examiners. Guidance facilitates mindfulness. Directives shut it down, and may even foster resentment instead.

The idea of Unschooling is for parents to be the facilitators of options, the openers of doors, the creators of environments of freedom, and the guardians of choice, not the installers of roadblocks and barriers. Unschoolers are making the huge and wonderful choice to renounce our legal entitlements to be the authoritarian controllers of our children's lives, and instead choose to be their partners.

SandraDodd.com/choice
photo by Sandra Dodd, inside a tile shop in Austin
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Calmer than I used to be

Wednesday, July 13 (2011) was my day to return home after two months in the UK (with a side trip to France). I expected one long day with Albuquerque at the end of it, but I'm in Atlanta. Tomorrow I'll be in Albuquerque.

I was grateful, through the confusion and delays, that I wasn't missing something like a wedding rehearsal or a graduation or a speaking engagement. This is a good night for me to be in a hotel in Atlanta, I guess, as unexpected outcomes go.

During the announcements and confusion, I was calm and sometimes amused. Some other people were taking it in happy stride, too, and that kept the mood of dozens and hundreds of others happier.

Fear and anger can be contagious, but happy acceptance seemed to be contagious tonight.

SandraDodd.com/gettingit
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Acceptance

Practice being accepting of whatever cool things come along, and providing more opportunities for coolness to unfold.


SandraDodd.com/mindfulofwords
photo by Sandra Dodd