Depth and breadth

Pam Sorooshian wrote:

Unschoolers should be offering interesting experiences, ideas, stimulation, music, logic, conversation, images, movement, discovery, beauty, etc. Brain food in abundance. It requires effort. It requires attention to qualitative and quantitative aspects of learning. Depth and breadth—creating a lifestyle in which kids are offered the opportunity to learn a lot about some things and a little about a lot of things.

—Pam Sorooshian

at Always Learning; quote revived by Marta Venturini
photo by Roya Dedeaux

Up and above

Negativity will weigh you down and make life heavy.

Hope and optimism will help you float up and above.



SandraDodd.com/abundance
photo by Abby Davis

Soft, grateful, gentle

When you wake up, think. Am I glad to be here? Is this a good moment? If so, breathe and smile and touch your child gently. Be soft. Be grateful. Find abundance. Gently.

SandraDodd.com/battle
photo by Sarah S.

Gratitude and Abundance

Whether or not you like it on pizza, it is likely that you can buy pineapple, wherever you live. Thanks to technology and to trade between regions and among nations, thanks to grocery stores, things can be purchased from around the world, in places where they could never grow.

When the market is out of something I wanted, I think of horse-drawn wagons, and sailing ships, and remind myself that there were times when such things were the best people had, for transporting food.

Even in seasons when it's popular to be cynical and critical and to complain about things, it's healthier and happier to see the marvel and opportunity in life around us.

Abundance and Gratitude
photo by Sandra Dodd

Willingness to share

Rosie Moon's photo; Alex Arnott's words:

As I've sunk deeper into this awareness of what's actually there (replacing a mindset of abundance with my former belief about what was lacking), my kids "melt into me" more...what I mean is there is less edginess, less defensiveness, and more willingness to share their life with me. More willingness to join me in what I'm doing.

I'm sure that my acceptance has something to do with the peace that we are experiencing.

—Alex Arnott

Quote (slightly tweaked here) from Perspective
photo by Rosie Moon

Kindness, and rich lives

Meredith Novak wrote:

There's a common parenting myth that making our kids' lives easier, being sweet and kind and gentle with them, makes them greedy and unfit for adult life.

It is not true.

Kids learn from experience. When they experience a lot of kindness, they learn the value of kindness in very real, concrete ways. When we make their lives easier, we make it easier for them to learn more and more richly. And they're happier. And that makes parenting easier, because we're not dealing with kids who are stressed out and frustrated.

—Meredith Novak

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more about Abundance
photo of Brie and baby Noor, years ago
Noor is attending university now.

Subscriptions, and gratitude

Dear subscribers:

Thank you for your patience while Vlad is building a mailing program around us. The new format is beautiful and full of links to good things. I'm very grateful to Mr. Gurdiga for his clever and very generous help.

Some days, some of us got doubles, or posts repeated. I'm sorry for the confusion, but glad for the abundance!

I had wanted to quote part of something I wrote about abundance, but found that
1) the whole thing was required for it to make sense,
2) I had posted it before, in 2013, and
3) the original post had comments and links to two things new that day, about abundance and gratitude.

Please enjoy: Gratitude and Abundance

photo by Sandra Dodd

One thing to feel blessed about

"When I'm feeling out of sorts and crushed by the world, all it takes is finding one thing to feel blessed about to start thinking in terms of abundance rather than lack, of being inspired instead of beaten down."

—Jenny Cyphers

Wonder and Awe
photo by Sandra Dodd

Optimistic and involved

Deb Lewis:

There were times when things were really tight for us. I mean no gas money and beans and rice for dinner every night.

If I had it to do it again I would use the credit card more. Not go crazy but if twenty or thirty dollars made a big difference in the life of my kid then I’d do that. If you’re justifying coffee and makeup or other adult things that aren’t strictly necessary, then make that same effort to justify some things your kids might like, too. Don’t always sacrifice kid things because they seem less important or urgent.

But don’t underestimate how wonderful your happy presence can be for your kids. Be sweet and playful and optimistic and involved. Give them lots of your time.

—Deb Lewis

Quote edited slightly to make it more past tense
Original here: Suggestions for creating abundance when funds are low
photo by Jill Parmer
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Sharing intangibles

Abundance in one person provides benefits for others. A child with all the trust he needs can trust others. A child with all the time he needs can share that time with others. One who has freedom won't begrudge freedom in others.

How to Raise a Respected Child
photo by Kelly Drewery
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Abundance and gratitude

"If it's not one thing, it's another."

People usually say that of problems or frustrations. But what about gourds, and little girls, and music, and humor?

If you practice finding abundance, if it's not one thing, it will be another.

Abundance
photo by Cátia Maciel

Be soft and grateful

Someone wrote once:

"I really have to be vigilant on myself and try not to control."

I was amused, but responded, in part:

Being "vigilant" sounds like absolutely exhausting effort. Relax. You do not "have to be vigilant." Especially not on yourself. That's you watching yourself. Way too much work. Let go of one of those selves. Relax inside the other one. Have a snooze. Don't be vigilant.

When you wake up, think. Am I glad to be here? Is this a good moment? If so, breathe and smile and touch your child gently. Be soft. Be grateful. Find abundance. Gently.

SandraDodd.com/battle/
photos by Rosie Todd

Brain food in abundance

Pam Sorooshian wrote:

Some kind of learning is happening all the time — but not all learning is good. Learning how to sneak food, learning that parents can't be trusted and counted on, learning to think of oneself in negative ways, all sad. Learning that life is boring, hard work, sucks, hurts, is unfair, also sad. Not what unschoolers are trying for.

Human brains are voracious and will feed on whatever is available. Unschoolers should be offering interesting experiences, ideas, stimulation, music, logic, conversation, images, movement, discovery, beauty, etc. Brain food in abundance. It requires effort. It requires attention to qualitative and quantitative aspects of learning. Depth and breadth — creating a lifestyle in which kids are offered the opportunity to learn a lot about some things and a little about a lot of things.

—Pam Sorooshian

on Always Learning, in 2011
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Limitless relaxation

"Gorging on what was forbidden or limited is very common. Once they're confident that they truly can have as much as they want for the rest of their lives, then they will slow down and be able to walk away, confident that if they return, they'll still be able to have some."

—Joyce Fetteroll

True Tale of Kids Turning Down Sweets matches,
but it applies to other things, too, such as Abundance
and the 2004 original is at the wayback machine, here

photo by Amber Ivey

A wonderful, surprising abundance

Megan Valnes, when her daughter was younger, wrote:

Today, while making my older daughter's bed, I was reflecting on the very act itself. The girls have a bunk bed and Lila's is on the top, so I have to climb up there and she has about 20 stuffed animals--it's what I would have used to think of as a pain. Instead of feeling overworked and underpaid as I made her bed, I found myself taking extra care to make her bed very nicely because I know how good it feels to sleep in a freshly made bed. I tucked the sheets and blankets in tight and cleaned off any food crumbs. Thinking of my sweet girl, I made the bed as perfectly as I thought she would like. Her stuffed animals are placed in their special places and her bed looks very cozy and inviting. Even if she never mentions it (which I doubt she will), I feel good knowing she will appreciate the gesture.

Is this the abundance everyone talks about? This fullness of heart that I no longer think of making beds as a chore, but as an act of service and gratitude? The feeling was such a wonderful surprise!

—Megan Valnes

SandraDodd.com/service
photo by Cass Kotrba

Framing the sky

From inside the house, windows frame the sky. That can be beautiful.

Outside, you might be where trees, or mountains make a border for a cloud show.

Perhaps you see the sun set on water, or desert plants. Maybe familiar buildings are what the sun goes behind, from your point of view.

Don't forget to look, sometimes, at the beauty you can view nearby.

The abundance of possibilities
photo by Janine Davies, in the south east of England

Things

I love this photo of Karen Lundy's kitchen utensils, laid out artfully and photographed.

I like things. I like tools. The similarities and differences in things has always interested me—the patterns and departures, in objects, people, games, songs, foods, trees, and ideas.

Some people think "I have too many things." Some want things they don't have. Few think "I have the perfect number of things."

I miss things I used to have, sometimes. Attachments are not ideal, but things can be art, comfort, tools, toys, and portals to history, stories, science, exploration and possibilities.

Be at peace with things, when you can be.

SandraDodd.com/abundance
photo by Karen Lundy
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One more?

This is about love, and abundance, and trust-building. What would you pay, if you could buy love, abundance and trust?

If your kids ask for another one (potato, cookie, peanut butter sandwich) I think it's helpful if you just say "Sure!" and make another one, even if you don't think they'll finish it, even if you think they'll be too full or whatever. As long as they're not eating someone else's share (and even so, if the other person agrees), it's not a big deal. If they don't finish, save the leftover for someone else. If they do finish and they're "too full" that's how they'll learn their capacity (which will change anyway as they get older).


Moving Toward Less Control, Concerning Food
photo by Rachel Cooley Green
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See what you have

The difference between poverty and abundance is sometimes the ability to see what one has. There have been times when I didn't have a car, we had a leaky roof, and the washing machine wasn't working. There have been more times that the car and washing machine were functioning, the house was solid, and I forgot to appreciate it.

from Gratitude, page 213 of The Big Book of Unschooling
(page 185, first edition)
photo by Elise Lauterbach

Rhythm and connection

"I learned how to breathe and relax into the rhythm and connection that define the learning life of unschooling."

—Leah Rose

The precious principle of abundance
photo by Gail Higgins