Showing posts sorted by relevance for query /becoming. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query /becoming. Sort by date Show all posts

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Slowly becoming wise

As children grow, parents age. Learning with them and from them and near them is learning we didn't expect.

Becoming a better parent is becoming a better person.

SandraDodd.com/moment
photo by Colleen Prieto
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Monday, October 23, 2023

Slowly becoming wise

As children grow, parents age. Learning with them and from them and near them is learning we didn't expect.

Becoming a better parent is becoming a better person.

Unexpected Benefits of Unschooling
photo by Colleen Prieto

Monday, March 28, 2022

Becoming unschooling parents

In order for parents to unschool, they need to become unschooling parents.

Saying "we're unschoolers now" isn't enough.

There are changes that need to take place.

the quote is from Who can Unschool?
but this will help: Becoming Solid
photo by Ester Siroky

Wednesday, June 23, 2021

Becoming more open

Marta wrote:

What I'm starting to realize (by what I've been reading and learning, and by my own observations of my experience), is that we can most certainly choose alternatives that can lead us to more openness (like choosing more positive words to describe how we feel about something, or genuinely trying to relax and see what our children and partners see in something they like, etc.). And that if we do it often, we can probably rewire our brains, creating new neurological paths and becoming indeed more open.

—Marta Venturini Machado

SandraDodd.com/open
photo by Elise Lauterbach
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Saturday, March 5, 2022

Learning, becoming, presence

A beautiful response from Pam Sorooshian:

The stated problem:
"With younger kids, there is no opportunity to pursue my own passions."

Pam's suggested solution:

Make becoming a fantastic mom your passion. Make learning all about those kids of yours, your passion. Make having a peaceful and joyful home your passion.

Then you can pursue that while still being fully present with your kids.

One source of that, which leads to another
photo by Sarah S.

Wednesday, January 22, 2020

More valuable and less expensive

Becoming the sort of person you hope your child will be, or that your child will respect, is more valuable than years of therapy. And it’s cheaper.
SandraDodd.com/becoming
(source)
photo by Gail Higgins
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Sunday, August 15, 2021

The next interaction

Pam Sorooshian, on becoming the parent you want to be:

Stop thinking about changing "for good and not just for days or moments." That is just another thing to overwhelm you and you don't need that!

Just change the next interaction you have with the kids.

Stop reading email right now and do something "preventative"—'something that helps build your relationship with them.

Fix them a little tray of cheese and crackers and take it to them, wherever they are, unasked. Sit down on the floor and play with them. If nothing else, just go and give each of them a little hug and a kiss and say, "I was just thinking about how much I love you."

Okay—so that is one good, positive interaction.

Again—just change the next interaction you have with the kids. Focus on making the next interaction another one that builds up your relationship.

—Pam Sorooshian

I appreciate that Pam Sorooshian has let me collect her writing and quote her for many years. There are others who have been similarly wise and generous. It is a gift I enjoy every time I come across their words. —Sandra


Becoming the Parent you Want to Be
photo by Elaine Santana

Friday, February 1, 2013

Life is lumpy.


Susan May wrote:

I am reminded that this path I'm on isn't really "just" about parenting. It's really about me and becoming the person I want to be. As I do that I am also becoming the best possible parent to my children. And I am slowly learning that when I love myself in my lowest of lows, then I am quicker to forgive myself, recover, and move on the next moment."
—Susan May

"Life is Lumpy," on Susan's blog
photo by Sandra Dodd, of a lump of century plant in a lump of snow
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Saturday, September 22, 2012

How and what to change


Pam Sorooshian, eight years ago, on becoming the parent you want to be:

Stop thinking about changing "for good and not just for days or moments." That is just another thing to overwhelm you and you don't need that!

Just change the next interaction you have with the kids.

Stop reading email right now and do something "preventative"—'something that helps build your relationship with them. Fix them a little tray of cheese and crackers and take it to them, wherever they are, unasked. Sit down on the floor and play with them. If nothing else, just go and give each of them a little hug and a kiss and say, "I was just thinking about how much I love you."

Okay—so that is one good, positive interaction.

Again—just change the next interaction you have with the kids. Focus on making the next interaction another one that builds up your relationship.


I appreciate that Pam Sorooshian has let me collect her writing and quote her for many years. There are others who have been similarly wise and generous. It is a gift I enjoy every time I come across their words. —Sandra


Becoming the Parent you Want to Be
photo by Sandra Dodd, of a prairie dog a couple of miles from my house; behind him is the root of some old dead tree (in case you were trying to figure out what that was)
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Sunday, January 24, 2016

Becoming, and being


Becoming the sort of person you hope your child will be, or that your child will respect, is more valuable than years of therapy. And it’s cheaper.

SandraDodd.com/being
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp
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Sunday, August 5, 2018

Surprise opportunities

Gail Higgins, an unschooling mom, wrote of this photo: "Opossum staredown. Surprise photo op 😀"


It reminds me of those unexpected moments that pop up in any parent's life. Unexpectedly, someone is looking at you expectantly. It could be one of your children, your partner, a relative, a neighbor, a friend or a stranger.

Confidence in unschooling principles will make those moments increasingly easy to deal with. After becoming an unschooler, one can respond as an unschooler. It does take a while.

As Gail's confidence in her photographic skills increases, she can respond as a photographer, when surprises come along.

SandraDodd.com/becoming
photo by Gail Higgins
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Saturday, May 27, 2017

Because they're people

Meredith Novak wrote:

"A lot of unschooling involves learning how to listen to one another, how to build up understanding and partnership in relationships, rather than tearing it down. Virtually all of the principles of how that works work with husbands as well as kids — not because men are babies, but because men and children are people, and we know a lot of things about how people learn and build relationships."
—Meredith

Becoming a Better Partner (or Meredith's post)
photo by Brandie Hadfield
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Monday, June 29, 2015

Next week, next year, next century

early 20th century downtown building with early 20th century theater added on

People DO think of next week. They think of last week. But they're doing their thinking from inside their present selves.

Balance depends on the fulcrum. Be solid. Be grounded.
Be whole, and be here.

SandraDodd.com/peace/becoming
photo by Sandra Dodd

Monday, August 1, 2016

Your part

Berend helping his niece at the zooMake the world more peaceful by being a peaceful part of the world.
SandraDodd.com/peace/becoming
photo by Eva Witsel

Monday, April 18, 2022

Parental passion

When someone wrote "With younger kids, there is no opportunity to pursue my own passions," Pam Sorooshian responded:

Make becoming a fantastic mom your passion. Make learning all about those kids of yours, your passion. Make having a peaceful and joyful home your passion.

Then you can pursue that while still being fully present with your kids.
—Pam Sorooshian


some commentary on Facebook
or you could read about "Me Time"
photo by Kinsey Norris

Friday, March 12, 2021

Brave, calm, happy

Be brave,

     be calm,

          be happy.

Becoming Courageous, by Deb Lewis
photo by Sandra Dodd

Monday, January 12, 2015

Just the next one

Pam Sorooshian wrote:
Stop thinking about changing "for good and not just for days or moments." That is just another thing to overwhelm you and you don't need that!

Just change the next interaction you have with the kids.
—Pam Sorooshian
/td>
Becoming the Parent You Want to Be
photo by Sandra Dodd



New, April 2020:

The writing from which the quote above was taken has been translated into French, by Valentine Destrade: Une interaction à la fois.

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Change one thing.


Change a moment. Change one touch, one word, one reaction. If you try to change your entire self so that next year will be better, you might become overwhelmed and discouraged and distraught.

Change one thing. Smile one sweet smile. Say one kind thing.

If that felt good, do it again. Rest. Watch. Listen. You're a parent because of your child. Your child. You should be his parent, or her parent. Not a generic parent, or a hypothetical parent. Be your child's parent in each moment that you interact with her.

SandraDodd.com/peace/becoming
photo by Jennie Gomes

Sunday, January 12, 2020

Advice for a newlywed

To have a more peaceful, loving relationship that has the potential to last for a lifetime, don't count and don't measure.

Don't divide anything "fifty/fifty." Forget that concept. Give what you have. Do all you can do. Give/do 80% when you can, but only measure it vaguely, at a squint, and then forget about it. If you aim for half, there will be resentments. If you aim for 100%, small failures will seem larger than they need to be, so don't do that. You can succeed at "lots" without measuring.

If each of you gives as much as you can, your shared needs will be fulfilled more quickly, more easily, and more often.

Be generous with your patience. Life is long. People change, and more than once.

I wrote that for a young friend getting married, and I quoted it here:
Becoming a Better Partner
photo by Vlad Gurdiga

Friday, August 7, 2015

Scary learning

Michelle Thedaker wrote:

I'm becoming more and more easily able to . . . ask myself, "What is my issue with this? How can I get past it?" and really open myself to a variety of answers. Scary? Yep. Worth it? Beyond yes!
—Michelle Thedaker


Read what I left out, and more: SandraDodd.com/scary
photo by Sandra Dodd
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