I really believe unschooling works best when parents trust a child's personhood, his intelligence, his instincts, his potential to be mature and calm. Take any of that away, and the child becomes smaller and powerless to some degree.
Give them power and respect, and they become respected and powerful.
I know in the nitty gritty of my heart, I'm not okay with a life philosophy that centers on "if it's fun I'm here, and if it's not, I'm gone."
Joyce Fetteroll responded:
Don't think of what we're talking about as fun, then. Think of it as joy. Or fulfilling. Or satisfying.
Even the most joyful life isn't all peaches and cream. Sometimes it rains when we wanted it sunny. Sometimes a friend cancels when we wanted to do something together. Sometimes accomplishing something means working through a period of frustration.
Life will naturally throw lemons at us fairly regularly. But what we don't need is to squirt life with artificial lemon juice to prepare us.
Problem:
My son spends a lot of his time playing video games. I have accepted that this is his passion... and maybe very well play a part in his career path. but lately he's also been watching videos of other people playing video games on YouTube! Please help me see a reason that this is not just a waste of time... I know you'll have a good way to look at this latest passion.
An idea:
Musicians watch videos of other musicians. Athletes watch videos of other athletes. Chess players have even been known to watch other people play chess with something approaching awe and rapture. Woodworkers watch woodworking shows. Cooks watch cooking shows. Dancers watch better dancers and learn like crazy!
[and there was more, ending with...]
Don't worry about what kids choose to do. Make sure they have lots of choices, and don't discriminate between what you think might be career path and what might "only" be joyful activity and self-expression, or what might seem to be nothing more than relaxation or escapism. Let them choose and be and do.
The first step is finding something that's better than what you have.
The second step is wanting to change.
The third step is figuring out how to change.
So, as you read along, you may wonder why I suggest that parents
basically make life more difficult for themselves. The reason is
because I believe it leads to a much better place. And that better
place is a more joyful life for our children and our families.
If someone knew almost nothing in the world but trivia relating to
popular music for the past 100 years, that would make a HELL of a good
grid over which to lay other things. And I don't think a thorough
knowledge of pop music (in any culture or language) over this
particular past hundred years, which saw the proliferation of recorded
music available in homes, the advent of radio broadcasts, movies with
music, television variety shows, transistor radios, cassette players
in cars, CDs, iPods and cell phones that store a ton of music could
help but create a timeline of the culture. Wouldn't songs from Marx
Brothers or Fred Astaire movies remind people of The Great
Depression? Can anyone hear big-band swing music and not also think
of the hairdos and costumes? Does "Boogie-Woogie Bugle Boy" not remind
anyone of WWII? Knowing some of the context of Gene Autrey and Roy
Rogers brings up LOTS of stories about where those songs were first
heard.
The lyrics of some of the songs make specific mention of historical
events, and that could help dating things, too, if a person were
trying to figure out what came first.
Any hobby delved into deeply becomes another portal to the whole
world—real and imagined; past, present and future.
"Trivial" connections are real
video from Young Frankenstein, 1974
Directed by Mel Brooks
Written (in part) by, and starring, Gene Wilder
What does a tree need for its leaves and twigs to develop more?
What does a cat need for its brain to develop more?
They need a lack of abuse. They need water and food, sunshine. The
cats can use things or people to play with, and people or other cats
to groom them, pet them, lie down next to them sometimes. The tree
might need to be less in the shade of other trees for optimal growth,
or might need not to be where the wind is banging their branches
against a cliff or building or fence or something.
If you think of people as the natural, biological beings they are,
rather than as school kids who either are or are not in school, things
become much clearer.
