Time flows

Every ghost town used to be alive.

Every "haunted house" was once new.


An abandoned car started with good tires, a running engine, and a happy owner.

Each adult was a child.

The flow of history
photo by Karen James
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Kids these days

I believe that a focus on nature (often fantasy nature, as in Waldorf's magical forests) can have a detrimental effect on unschooling and on the relationship between parents and their children, when the children were born in the 21st century and would like to use the internet resources so readily available to them. Grounding, re-wilding, dancing with wolves, an "excessive admiration" of Walden Pond or Little House on the Prairie.... those things should be saved for single people or childless couples who won't be inconveniencing growing, learning children with it.

SandraDodd.com/fantasy
(slightly rough discussion, there)
photo by Tara Joe Farrell

Looking, where, and how

Karen James wrote:

When you look at your children, see *them*, not the ideas of peace, joy, success or failure. Notice what your children are engaged in. Join them when you can. If one of your children is cutting paper, quietly join in, even if only for a moment. When another child is playing Lego on the floor, get down there and put a few pieces together with her. One girl is drawing, do some doodles. One girl is playing Minecraft, notice what she's building. Ask her about it (if your question doesn't interrupt her). As you join your children you will begin to get a sense for what they enjoy. Build on what you learn about them.

There will be some conflict, and there will be times when you don't get it right. See those moments, learn from them, and then look toward where you hope to go. Whenever I'm driving on unfamiliar roads, I tend to look at the road right in front of the car. The twists and turns come up so quick, and I find that my grip on the wheel tightens and my heart races. I panic until I remember to look at the horizon. It's so remarkable how much more easy driving becomes when I take in a wider view of where I want to go. Take in a wide view of where you want to go, making little adjustments as necessary. It'll feel less frantic and less like you're at the mercy of every little bump or turn that suddenly appears. The ease and confidence that will gradually come will make for a smoother ride, for you and for those lovely little passengers you've been gifted to travel this journey with. 🙂

—Karen James
on "Always Learning"

SandraDodd.com/look
photo by Cally Brown

New chances, all day

Su Penn wrote:

A couple of months ago, my four-year-old and I had been wrangling all day—we just couldn't get into each other's groove. He was fussy, I was impatient, he was whiny, I was cranky. We were struggling and struggling. Finally, it was time to cook dinner, which he always likes to help with. I got out whatever ingredients I needed, and he pulled his stool over to the kitchen counter, and we started measuring and stirring and slicing. I was standing half behind him, and he suddenly leaned his head back against my chest and said, "We're having a good day, aren't we? I like cooking with you. We're having fun. We always have fun." It transformed the whole day for me to hear that he was experiencing it so differently—or that that moment of cooking together had redeemed the whole rotten thing.

You've talked before, Sandra, about this idea of thinking about moments instead of days and it has maybe not changed my life but it has changed a lot of my days. I used to decide by, say, 11 a.m. that we were having a "rough day." Anybody ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy? Now, no matter how rough the moment gets, I remind myself that the next moment is a whole new chance at something good. And it's amazing how often magic comes two minutes after I was thinking I was going to have to chuck the whole thing and go back to bed.

—Su Penn

SandraDodd.com/badmoment
photo by Shawn Smythe Haunschild

Amusement is good

Holly said to me one day something like "Friends come in and out of your life like busboys in a restaurant." WOW, I thought. That helps! That helps when I'm sad that someone is slipping out of my daily life. I told her it was pretty wonderful and she said it was a Stephen King line from "The Body."

People come and go and we change each other. We amuse each other if we're lucky and frustrate each other if we're not so lucky.

SandraDodd.com/philosophy
photo by Cátia Maciel
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Here and now

Don't have so much of past and future in your head that you can't live now.

SandraDodd.com/random
photo by Sandra Dodd

Contentment and curiosity

Nancy B. wrote:

If you raise your children with a lot of happiness, contentment, curiosity, love, affection, they don't place all their future happiness on what their career will be, what they'll "be." Life is instead about exploring, having fun, pursuing interests.

—Nancy B.

SandraDodd.com/jobs/stories
(Stories about Jobs)
photo by Nina Haley