Giving and connecting

[The word "Service"] stirred negative feelings for many years, until I had my first child.

Being with my children, giving them in each moment all I can, learning and growing with them, changed my understanding of "service."

I have chosen to give, help and serve my children. I feel being with them has contributed towards a new understanding of the word as well as a way of building a connection with them. I can also see how it can be extended to others.

I realize how much weight a word can carry, how changes in my own feelings have lightened that weight and thrown a new light on the word itself. Service now stirs up and brings great feelings of joy.

— Parvine Shahid
March 2015

SandraDodd.com/serviceResponse
photo by Cátia Maciel

Accept temporary changes

Sometimes a familiar place, or thing, or person, is warm and soft and safe. Other times there might be special circumstances, or danger, or extra beauty.

Try to model for your children an acceptance of change, and an appreciation of the days when things are calm and simple. Model being more careful when such factors as humidity, temperature or temperament come into play.

SandraDodd.com/change
photo by Vlad Gurdiga

Step up to happiness

No matter where a person is, a step up is a step up. Happier is happier.

Deposit the Good Stuff
photo by Denaire Nixon

Looking, being, knowing

Karen James wrote:

Living in the world peacefully and respectfully are good places to begin to focus when new to unschooing. The best advice I was given was to look at my son. Not at ideals. Not at freedom. Not at school or no school. Not at labels. Not at big ideas. Look at my son. Be with him. Get to know him deeply. And, then to read a bit about unschooling. Give something new a try. See how it goes in the context of our real day to day life.

I still do that. I'm still learning.

—Karen James

SandraDodd.com/freedom
photo by Karen James

Growing up and leaving gently

I have heard many stories of the rearrangements of families with unschoolers who are in their late teens or early twenties, and a young adult will leave, or bring another in, or the house is split up some. The stories are peaceful, and not about fear and arguments.

This, below, is from an interview I did in 2010.

I think when the child leaves naturally and positively, for a good reason, and the parents were willing to have him stay longer, there are fewer regrets and frustrations than under other circumstances. When kids are small, the mom is constantly on call. When Holly was born I had two and five year old boys. I know what it's like to have three young children. I also know what it's like to have three teens driving. But when they're calmly and confidently grown, the mom can leave for a month and they'll still be okay.

—Sandra Dodd

Interview, by Kim Houssenloge, of Feather and Nest
photo by Jihong Tang

Exploring largely

Pam Sorooshian wrote:

If you're not already an interesting person with interesting information to share with your children, then you'll have to make an effort to be more interesting. The way to do that is to develop your own sense of curiosity, wonder, fascination, and enthusiasm.

It might have to seem a little artificial, for a while, if it isn't natural to a parent to just "be" this way.

— Pam Sorooshian

SandraDodd.com/curiosity
photo by Rosie Moon

Up and above

Negativity will weigh you down and make life heavy. Hope and optimism will help you float up and above.

SandraDodd.com/abundance
photo by Abby Davis
__