There were, and will be, dishes

Before I was married, I had dishes and I washed them. When I was married, I had dishes and I washed them. I have children, and sometimes they help me, but they're my dishes, and I wash them. When my children leave, I will still have dishes. I will still wash them. Should my husband and I not die at the same time, the one who is left will wash the dishes. . . . .
If you have dishes you don't like, get rid of them and get dishes you enjoy. Look at thrift stores or ask your friends, or learn to make dishes.

Washing Dishes (philosophical thoughts, not instructions)
photo by Sarah S.

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P.S. My kids are grown now, but when Holly's over, she sometimes empties my dishwasher for me. She often picks dishes up and puts them in the sink, if she sees them, even if she's not here for a meal.

Phrases to avoid

"Have to…"

"I was forced to…" or "We forced him to…"

No choice but to…

Your thoughts affect your body. Your moods change your health. Your attitude shows in your face. Negativity will be contagious and harmful to your children.

When you speak or write or hear the words that paint your life as powerless and harsh, rephrase. If you have time, think about where those things came from. If you can trace them back to a certain voice or incident in your memory, remember that, and be prepared the next time.

SandraDodd's Big Book of Unschooling
page 196, or 226 in 2019 edition
photo by Holly Dodd

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Good online matches are Choices and the page on Negativity.

Beautiful, spectacular, happy world

end of a beautiful, anonymous account of gratitude and of change:

I know I have changed the world by starting with myself and my own family. That’s awesome.

Know what I love more, though? This gorgeous, beautiful, spectacular, happy world I live in.

I didn’t have it when I was a kid—though I always wanted it with my whole self—but I have it now. Even better, my kids have it now. There’s nothing in this world I’d ever want more.

"When you can see all directions, for a moment"
SandraDodd.com/peace/healing
photo by Sarah S.

Help them navigate the world

Marta Pires wrote:

I could've easily been one of those moms who thought that saying anything to my child would be limiting her, and who could've been afraid of her daughter's sensitivity. I can see clearly now that they don't learn how to handle these situations simply from seeing us do things one way or another (although it's important, of course), but we need to give them information and find out the best way to do it, having our own child in mind. That's not damaging them or limiting them at all, quite the contrary—I think it's helping them navigate the world and become respectful, considerate, polite adults.

—Marta Pires

SandraDodd.com/coaching
photo by Sandra Dodd

Bringing snow inside

Laurie C. wrote in a discussion once, of snow play:

"On the snow days that are entirely too cold for the children to go outside, or even when it is too dark outside we bring buckets of snow inside. We put the snow into the bathtub and allow the children to sit on the outside. Reaching into the tub they can use their action figures, trucks, barbies,or other misc. toys to play in the snow. When they are finished playing the snow runs down the drain and leaves very little clean up. (We have also allowed the children to make and throw a couple of snowballs at the shower wall)"

Newer Sandra note:

If you know it will snow, you could put containers out the night before, for children too young to go out, maybe, or for some extra, warmer snow fun even if yours do have the outfits and the inclination to brave the real thing.

Snow Days, from the UnschoolingDiscussion archive
photo by Sarah Dickinson

Learning floods in

When our schoolish expectations start to dissolve, learning floods in from all directions.

Learning for Fun (interview)
photo by Sandra Dodd

Gratitude and Abundance

Whether or not you like it on pizza, it is likely that you can buy pineapple, wherever you live. Thanks to technology and to trade between regions and among nations, thanks to grocery stores, things can be purchased from around the world, in places where they could never grow.

When the market is out of something I wanted, I think of horse-drawn wagons, and sailing ships, and remind myself that there were times when such things were the best people had, for transporting food.

Even in seasons when it's popular to be cynical and critical and to complain about things, it's healthier and happier to see the marvel and opportunity in life around us.

Abundance and Gratitude
photo by Sandra Dodd