Your relationship with learning

You can't wait until you understand unschooling to begin. Much of your understanding will come from the changes you see in your child and in your own thinking, and in your relationship with and perception of learning itself. You can't read a touch and then go and unschool for a year and then come back and see what you did wrong; you could be a year in the wrong direction.


from "Beginning to Unschool," page 36 or 39 of The Big Book of Unschooling
(I changed "it" to "unschooling," in the first line above.)
photo by Janine
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Smoke and fire; hobbies and jobs

Some things are more interesting to a child at one age or another, or too dangerous, but the ages vary with different people. Principles are better than rules, for interests and safety.

Physical conditions matter, too. A fire on grass is safer than a fire in a dry desert in autumn, or in the windy Springtime.

Interests that are wonderful and richly full of learning for one child might seem repulsive or as dry as the desert to another child. Good! That's fine! Paying attention to what they like could help you let them know of hobbies, volunteer work, or jobs they might consider, as teens, or as adults, that match their interests and strengths.

The link below goes to a long list of jobs, from various discussions over the past fifteen years. It might be fun, as you read through them to consider jobs that were rare or nonexistent before the past year or two, or jobs that might fade away within a few years.

SandraDodd.com/jobs
photo by Elise Lauterbach
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Better living through priorities

...picking up in the middle of an exchange...

It doesn’t seem good for learning, to stop them from doing what seems interesting to them in the moment.

If you set your priority on learning and peace, it makes other questions easier.


Chat with Sandra Dodd on Mommy Chats, 4/25/07
photo by Kinsey Norris

Value and priorities

Size, age, volume, cost... Value and priorities, for unschoolers, might begin to surprise you and continue to do so. Don't judge importance too quickly. Learning is everywhere.

SandraDodd.com/mindfulparenting
photo by Lynda Rains
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Sometimes thinking is shared

Though thinking is usually private and quiet, sometimes it shows easily. Games and projects often involve discussions of strategies, or analysis of error or success. Working on projects together puts the supplies and the thoughts all out on the table.

If a child wants to share his thoughts with you, take it as a compliment. Be honored.

Honor him by listening to him as a full human sharing real ideas.

Those are the moments faith and trust are made of. Be a person he'll come back to next time, next year, when he's grown.

SandraDodd.com/respect
photo by Ester Siroky
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Thinking is private

Someone who is swinging, looking out the window, fidgeting with a little toy, doodling or drawing, is probably doing some serious thinking. Let them.

In the same way that you might be quiet for someone taking a nap, it could be courteous not to interrupt the thoughts you can't see or hear.

Being nearby and available in case there's something the other person wants to share might be a good idea, but give thoughts space to flow.


The writing above is new here, but the page about needs is somewhat related.
Also, perhaps, other posts about parents being quieter.
photo by Ester Siroky

Critical Thinking Day

Don't believe everything you read or hear today! It's April Fool's day, and people will be trying to trick you or trip you up.

All the rest of the year? Don't believe everything you read or hear then, either.

SandraDodd.com/clarity
photo by Sandra Dodd
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