Conversational support

If a child says "I wish I could fly," he doesn't want to hear that he can't. And he probably doesn't want his mom being so "supportive" that she suggests that he can do anything he wants to do if he wants it badly enough.

He might just like to hear "Wouldn't that be cool?" or "You could see inside the neighbors' back yards," or something simple and conversational.

SandraDodd.com/exploration
photo by Sandra Dodd of an ostrich that lives
right next to "Los Pollos Hermanos"

Gently accepting

Being with our children in direct and mindful ways made us kinder, gentler and more accepting. We were more playful and full of wonder, as we saw the world through their eyes.

SandraDodd.com/acceptance
photo by Claire Horsley

Create and maintain

Unschooling is creating and maintaining an atmosphere in which natural learning can flourish.

SandraDodd.com/definitions
photo by Janine Davies

Sweet and grounding

"There's little so sweet and grounding to me as being loved for who I am and appreciated for all I choose to spend my time doing. If we want our children to really know what that feels like too, we should stop standing on the sidelines, and start joining in. It's a simple gift we can all give to our children that will have the potential to last a lifetime." —Karen James

A simple gift
photo by Karen James, too

Right now; respond to that

I tell them to look directly at their child without overlays or filters or labels—to see who he is, right now, and respond to that.

SandraDodd.com/interviews/momlogic2010
photo by Chrissy Florence
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Tricked by "knowledge"

Meredith Novak wrote:

A great deal of parenting "wisdom" is made up of things "everyone knows" because everyone repeats them back and forth, over and over. Like "you have to go to school to learn" and "children need rules". Some of the things "everyone knows" are completely wrong, but because "everyone knows" them, it's very, very difficult for people to change their attitudes even in the presence of evidence to the contrary.

It was really shocking for me to discover just how much of what I "knew" was a result of that repetition. I accounted myself an intelligent, thoughtful person, with strong "alternative" viewpoints, but most of what I thought I knew about parenting was based in a kind of cultural conditioning. The ideas in my head weren't my own. That's humbling.

—Meredith

SandraDodd.com/sugar
photo by Sandra Dodd

Seeking joy

In discussing the idea of coercion, Dawn Todd wrote:

"I can't really say from looking at my kids whether they feel coerced or not in a given moment. But I can tell joy when I see it. So seeking joy is way more helpful to me as an idea."

—Dawn Todd

Not exactly a match, but could be useful:
SandraDodd.com/bribery
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp
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