The very best friend

Instead of "You're the parent, not their friend," substitute, "Be the very very best friend to them you can possibly be."

—Pam Sorooshian

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photo by Sandra Dodd

The best I can do

My mother did the best she could, I suppose. I need to do the best I can do. So I tell my children everything they want to know. I show them the world in words and pictures and music. While they're becoming better, wiser people, I am too. I wish I had learned these things before they were born, but I didn't have my teachers yet. I have tried to pass on to other moms the best of what works well for us, and to put little warning beacons near pitfalls.


SandraDodd.com/zeneverything
photo by Sandra Dodd
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And then what?

Mindfulness is about remembering that what I'm doing right now is going to have an effect on what will happen next, not just in my own life, but in other people's lives.


SandraDodd.com/mindfulness
photo by Sandra Dodd

General happiness

Pam Sorooshian wrote, in a discussion on December 5:

Our goal as unschoolers isn't 'have fun'—that's not ambitious enough. That's good as a goal for a birthday party, but not for parents who have taken the responsibility for helping their children learn. We are aiming for more than that—we are expanding our children's horizons and helping them deepen their understanding of all kinds of things in the world.
. . . .

Learning is intrinsically satisfying and so a child should feel generally satisfied and happy if his/her life involves lots of opportunities for learning. I think general happiness is a good gauge of whether things are going well...but to say that our purpose is to have fun is to vastly understate and mislead about what we're doing.

—Pam Sorooshian

SandraDodd.com/pamsorooshian
photo by Sandra Dodd, of the peel of a little orange that came off all in one piece
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A philosophical shift

People don't become really good at unschooling without changing the way they see themselves and the world. At the core of it, I think there is a philosophical shift that has to happen. Because people want to overlay unschooling on same old business-as-usual life it doesn't really fit very well; you have to remodel the house a bit.

(Not literally a house; not literally remodel. That was from a recorded interview so I can't edit it now.)


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photo by Sandra Dodd

Your role is...

"Your role isn't to set up a path for them to follow but to set up the environment for them to explore."

—Joyce Fetteroll

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photo by Sandra Dodd
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Food for Thought

Starting from food, moving to learning...

There's another aspect past the fact that hungry kids are cranky.

Maslow's hierarchy of needs says a person who is hungry cannot learn, so for unschooling I think that could be the very first consideration.

When a family doesn't consider learning the primary goal of unschooling, things can disintegrate pretty quickly. YES, once you get it going kids are learning all the time. But if a family starts with the idea that learning is happening all the time, they might never quite get the learning part of unschooling going. And in that case learning will NOT happen all the time. It's subtle but crucial.

From a discussion at Always Learning, in 2011
photo by Sandra Dodd
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