What will you regret?

Pam Sorooshian wrote:

"None of us are perfect; we'll all have some regrets. But with my kids 19, 16, and 13, I can now say that I will never say anything like, 'I wish I'd let them fight it out more,' or 'I wish I'd punished them more,' or 'I wish I'd yelled at them more.' I will only ever say that I wish I'd been more patient, more attentive, more calm and accepting of the normal stresses of having young children.

"One interaction at a time. Just make the next interaction a relationship-building one. Don't worry about the one AFTER that, until IT becomes 'the next one'."

—Pam Sorooshian
(whose daughters are now 20 to 26 years old)

SandraDodd.com/parentingpeacefully
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Found Art

Halloween candy gets dusty if kids' diets aren't limited or controlled. If a child goes trick-or-treating but isn't desperate for every bit of sugar he can grab, and if the parents don't take the candy away from him or make rules about how much he can eat, he'll eat some and the rest will probably be thrown away around Christmas.

SandraDodd.com/myths
photo by Sandra Dodd in Ashford, Surrey, not near Halloween

Being where you are

Holly and I went on a day trip a few days ago to see her cousin, my niece. We were on a road neither of us had ever been on and might not travel again. This is a photo right out the window of the van, from the driver's seat. I used the steering wheel to brace the camera. Leaves are changing, but it's still warm for October.

Already it's history. Most of those leaves are still on those trees; not all of them, though all will fall. Holly and I will never have that day again, except in photographs and memories.

Where you are when you read this is a place where you can find value or beauty. The moment you read this is a moment you can make better, if by nothing more than breathing in gratitude and appreciation.

SandraDodd.com/being
photo by Sandra Dodd, October 22, Los Luceros, New Mexico
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The tapestry of our lives

"Each small way we’re tied to our children adds to the tapestry that our respective lives weave."

—Ben Lovejoy

SandraDodd.com/lovejoy/bonnaroo
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Dad and daughter

Bob Collier wrote, of playing with his daughter:

"So there I am, a six foot guy with a beard lying on the floor with a little girl playing Polly Pockets, smiling and laughing and making silly stuff up as I go along. My daughter's happy. She can see that I love what she loves because it's written all over my face. And I really do. Who knew Polly Pockets could be so much fun? The Polly Pockets though are just the excuse. Not the cause."

SandraDodd.com/dads
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Intense Interests

Can one intense interest come to represent or lead to all others? A mom once complained that her son was interested in nothing but World War II. There are college professors and historians who are interested in nothing but World War II. It can become a life’s work. But even a passing interest can touch just about everything—geography, politics, the history and current events of Europe and parts of the Pacific, social history of the 20th century in the United States, military technology, tactics, recruitment and propaganda, poster art/production/distribution, advances in communications, transport of troops and food and supplies, espionage, prejudices, interment camps, segregation, patriotism, music, uniforms, insignia, religion….

SandraDodd.com/focus
photo by Sandra Dodd
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A Mindful Lifestyle

Joyce Fetteroll wrote:

Although unschooling is often described as a homeschooling style, it is, in fact, much more than just another homeschool teaching method. Unschooling is both a philosophy of natural learning and the lifestyle that results from living according to the principles of that philosophy.

The most basic principle of unschooling is that children are born with an intrinsic urge to explore—for a moment or a lifetime—what intrigues them, as they seek to join the adult world in a personally satisfying way. Because of that urge, an unschooling child is free to choose the what, when, where and how of his/her own learning from mud puddles to video games and SpongeBob Squarepants to Shakespeare! And an unschooling parent sees his/her role, not as a teacher, but as a facilitator and companion in a child's exploration of the world.

Unschooling is a mindful lifestyle that encompasses, at its core, an atmosphere of trust, freedom, joy and deep respect for who the child is. This cannot be lived on a part-time basis. Unschooling sometimes seems so intuitive that people feel they've been doing it all along, not realizing it has a name. Unschooling sometimes seems so counterintuitive that people struggle to understand it, and it can take years to fully accept its worth.

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This was the description at an online discussion for many years—at the UnschoolingDiscussion list.

SandraDodd.com/lists/description
photo by Sandra Dodd
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