New Improved Thinking!

In response to someone talking about her children learning "to self regulate":

"Self regulate" means to make a rule and then follow it yourself.
They're not self regulating. They're making choices.
It's different. It's better!

Weeding out terminology we would prefer not to mean improves thinking.

SandraDodd.com/clarity
photo by Sandra Dodd

Better, wiser people

My mother did the best she could, I suppose. I need to do the best I can do. So I tell my children everything they want to know. I show them the world in words and pictures and music. While they're becoming better, wiser people, I am too. I wish I had learned these things before they were born, but I didn't have my teachers yet. I have tried to pass on to other moms the best of what works well for us, and to put little warning beacons near pitfalls.

Moving a Puddle, page 53
photo by Sandra Dodd
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moments in days in lives

At your house it will be morning again within 24 hours, but it could be morning in your heart any second.

SandraDodd.com/morning photo by Sandra Dodd
(and it's a link)

An Invitation to Bonding

Maybe it’s not physical need, but intellectual need. Boredom is a desire for input that unschooling parents should welcome. It’s a child saying “How can I add excitement to my life?” This can be a big opportunity to introduce a new subject, activity, or thought-collection.

Maybe it’s an emotional need, and the parent’s undivided attention for a little while will solve the problem. A walk, some joking, a hug, inquiries about progress on the child’s projects or plans or friends might serve many purposes at once. If after a walk and a talk the child is not quite refreshed, you still had that time together, which made “I’m bored” a useful invitation to bonding.

Bored No More
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Mental Gymnastics

The way jokes usually work is that they cause you to connect two things in your mind that you hadn't connected before, and if it happens quickly and surprisingly, you laugh. Humor induces thought. Those without the information inside won't "get the joke." No one gets all jokes, but the more we know the more we'll get.

Over the next few days when something funny happens you might want to take a moment to think about why it amused you, and what you needed to know to understand that joke. (There are many studies and analyses of humor, but they're never funny. Some are written in such stilted jargon that THAT is funny!) I do not recommend discussing this with young children. They don't need to know how humor works. They need to have parents who appreciate their laughter and who can find even more things to amuse them and help them do the mental gymnastics necessary for that happy laughter to arise.

To Get More Jokes
Photo by Kirby Dodd by... someone who picked up the camera.
I will credit better if someone remembers.
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Nurturing confidence

We can nurture confidence in kids by becoming confident ourselves.

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The quote is from an online chat on January 31, 2011 (lost, except for that quote).
More on confidence
photo by Sandra Dodd, in Minnesota in 2007

native curiosity

Unschooling is about learning, and not about teaching. Unschooling parents rely on their children's native, undamaged curiosity and on the interesting world around them.

SandraDodd.com/interviews/successful
photo by Sandra Dodd
(snake in captivity, behind glass)
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