"New post" isn't working and I'm sleepy. *sorry*

SandraDodd.com/
photo by Sandra Dodd

"Success"

Holly took a picture of a reflection of me. I don't think I would have seen this, but Holly has an artist's eye. My face is on the hills, between the lake and the sky.

Marty can pack a car in a most efficient way, and remember all sorts of emergency or "just-in-case" equipment and provisions. He is helpful, funny, musical, and sweet.

Kirby has lived away from home for over three years now. He has a job with benefits, extra overtime, and nice, new gym. He has lots of friends at work. As he can wear whatever he wants to work, his desire to dress up was unfulfilled, so he bought a nice suit to wear to parties. He recently purchased a very nice car, without any parental assistance on financing. (We offered, but he wanted to establish credit.) He paid $5,000 down on that car, to the chagrin of the finance desk at the dealership. He has no student-loan debt whatsoever.
Is any of that "success"?

"Success" might be as ghostly and insubstantial as that image of me in the photo above. It can look nice, but how permanent is it? How warm? How strong?

Look at the immediate benefits of your decisions.
Look for the good parts of today.
Look for the value in this moment.

---

The ideas above grew too large for this format,
and have been expanded upon at SandraDodd.com/success
photo by Holly Dodd

Old moon, new moon

That's last week's moon, as the sun was coming up, in our back yard. The same moon might've been in your back yard, but framed differently. Now, though, it's the dark of the moon, so this moon is old. Only they call the dark days "the new moon"!

It's really the same old moon.

Many things that are "the same old" whatever to you are new to your child. Or between spouses or friends, sometimes something one knows well might be interesting to the other. Maybe it wasn't, years ago, but it might be now.

Families with babies and toddlers sometimes find little time to gaze at the moon, but as children get older please remember that old things are always new to someone.

---

The photo above is by Sandra Dodd. The one below was taken by Rick Sanders, an unschooling dad and a professional photographer, during the eclipse on December 21, 2010.



© Richard Sanders, Sanders Photographics, Inc.; used by permission

Is unschooling too big a gamble?

Would school seem like less a gamble to you?
Would buying a curriculum seem like less a gamble?
Moving to a fancier neighborhood, or to a country not involved in any wars?

I cannot make my children's lives good. I can't ensure their success. I cannot make a tree grow. I can water it and put a barrier near so Keith doesn't hit it with a lawnmower, and ask my kids not to climb in it while it's young.

I could destroy that tree, all kinds of ways. I could do it damage. I could neglect it. But I can't predict where the next branch will grow, or whether it will double in size this year or just do 1/3 again of its height. Not all years' growth are the same.

I could mess my kids up and make them unhappy and keep them from having access to things, but I cannot make them learn. I can't make them mature. I can give them opportunities and room to grow, and food and water and a comfortable bed.

I can't guarantee anything for anyone else, nor for my own family. I know what does damage, and I know what might help.


from the page "Huge Gambles (or small gambles)"
SandraDodd.com/guarantee
photo by Holly Dodd
__

Sometimes...

Sometimes the thing to do is just to go to sleep.



SandraDodd.com/sleep
photo by Holly Dodd

1/1/11

I want to ask each person who reads this to do one extra thing... it will just take a minute.

Each day for a year, could you add one minute to the time you spend with a child? Any child. One extra minute. If you can infuse that moment with love or compassion, bonus!

I suppose that would be a minute you could be doing something else, but I doubt it would be something better.

Total request: 365 minutes. A little over six hours, out of a whole year. I'd really appreciate it, because it would make my own life, and my kids' lives better too. And I'll be at my house, or out where other people's kids are, trying each day to add one extra, special minute too.

---

The photo was taken at a pond near Ithaca, New York, by Karen James. When she gave me permission to use it, she wrote:

My son noticed the patterns in the ice. He dropped down on his hands and knees to observe and explore. I dropped down with him and was thrilled I did :) Through the eye of the camera, that four inch thick ice looked like an ocean, or a drop of water under a microscope. I loved the experience of looking into it!

__

Television and video media

There is a kind of magic thinking that says television can rob people of their imagination, but that if parents sacrifice televisions, children will be more intelligent.


. . . .[A]mong unschoolers there are many who once prohibited or measured out TV time, and who changed their stance. Learning became a higher priority than control, and joy replaced fear in their lives. I can't quote all the accounts I have collected, but I invite you to read them.
SandraDodd.com/tv

The quote is from page 136 of The Big Book of Unschooling
photo of Holly and Orion by Sandra Dodd