Beauty in onions

The other day I saw some beautiful onions. People would buy them even if they hadn't been arranged so nicely, but the produce manager had set each onion down by hand, with thought, and there they were in a pattern I helped to dismantle by taking some of them home with me.

Some of what we have used to be elsewhere. Some of what is at our house will be other places someday. Patterns come and go like cloud pictures, and we ourselves are part of that changing swirl of life and beauty.

click to see others

Unschooling can prove itself

If both parents are enthusiastic and excited, unschooling can hardly fail.. . .
It won't work unless people want it to work, and make the changes necessary for it to work.

Unschooling can prove itself if it's not thwarted.

The Big Book of Unschooling, page 30,
which links to SandraDodd.com/reluctance
photo by Holly Dodd
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Leftover Halloween Candy

Since my kids were little they could have all the Halloween candy they wanted, and since they were little that has been no problem at all, because by the time they gave away what they didn't like and traded for favorites, and saved it and shared it with kids who came over for the next few weeks, there was still candy left. I have very often found the sorting boxes (a Xerox box lid or cardboard Coke flat) months later, and one year when it was nearly Halloween again, Kirby threw out the last of the candy from the year before. (Ditto for Christmas and Easter candy, some years.)

We were confident that it was control, not access, that made kids eat, do and want "too much" before we ever considered unschooling. Others come to the idea the other way around—unschooling first and releasing other control-urges later.



SandraDodd.com/eating/halloween
photo by Sandra Dodd, of an autumn tree in the back yard

Full of themselves

If you find yourself thinking or saying anything like “You think you're entitled to things" or "You're so full of yourself," please consider the effect this will have on the image a child has of himself. Children ARE entitled to love, protection, and positive experiences within the parent's means. They SHOULD be full of self awareness and self regard.


SandraDodd.com/spoiled
photo by Sandra Dodd

Spouses / Partners

I didn’t expect unschooling to make things so sweet between me and Keith.

Partly Keith's just a nice guy, but principles that applied to the kids applied to the adults, too, and we all experienced and shared more patience and understanding.

The more I got to know Marty, the more ways I saw him like Keith, and because I was sympathetic to those traits in Marty which had bothered me in Keith, I became more sympathetic to and understanding of Keith.

SandraDodd.com/spouses
photo by Ashlee Junker (later Dodd)

Control

If you think of controlling yourself, and of your children controlling themselves, it's still about control. If people live by principles their choices come easily.



SandraDodd.com/self-regulation
photo by Holly Dodd

My child's mother

"Instead of being my mother's child, I am my children's mother."


The quote is from "Knowing Everything." The title refers to something Kirby asked me when he was little. The rest of the essay is here: SandraDodd.com/zeneverything.

The story also appears in the book Moving a Puddle.

photo by Holly Dodd