Take this lightly. Play around.

All my life I was given advice like this:

Be serious
Act your age
Don't take this lightly.

Now, though, that I'm involved with unschooling I say to adults and to children alike, take this lightly. Play around.



SandraDodd.com/playing

Customized, thoughtful choices

When you make the smallest of choices about what to do, say or think concerning your child, base it on your own child, in that moment. Think anew each time.

There is a danger in living an entirely reactionary life. If you do everything the opposite of what your mom did, it's as bad as doing exactly what your mom did without knowing why. Be discriminating and thoughtful. Don't chuck the ghost of the baby you were out with the bathwater of your emotional memories.

The second paragraph is from SandraDodd.com/relatives

Holly took the photo. I don't who is holding that flower,
but I know that that moment and that flower are long gone.

Sleeping as love

For the first MANY years of their lives, our kids fell asleep being nursed, or being held or rocked by dad or mom, or in the car on the way home from something fun. They slept because they were sleepy, not because we told them to. So when they got older, they would fall asleep near us, happily.

We never minded putting them in the bed after they were asleep. It was rare they went to sleep in the bed. They would wake up there (or in our bed, or on the couch or on a floor bed) knowing only that they had been put there and covered up by someone who loved them.

Going to sleep wasn't about "going to bed."

Kirby, four, fell asleep while playing.

SandraDodd.com/sleeping
photo by Sandra Dodd, 1990

The air...

Given a rich environment, learning becomes like the air—it's in and around us.



Holly Dodd photo

The quote is the last line of this interview: SandraDodd.com/interview

Real People

For all the considerations of stages of development and maturity, it helps to remember that the small version of you was still altogether you. The child at your house is the small version of an adult, a parent, an old person.

A child is already a whole person.


Holly's photo of Xsenia

Questions

Why does...?            Because... Who will...?           I think... When did...?           Let's ask... Where are...?           We can look... What is...?           As far as I know... Do you...?           Sometimes. Can I...?           Yes.

Treasure your child's questions and offer loving answers.
Relationships are built of these things.

Small gifts

Different families have different resources, but here are two gifts any of us could give to someone today:

1. A glass of water, to someone who is working, or playing, or just got home, or just woke up. A favorite glass, or a pretty one, or a special one, maybe. Perhaps with ice, or a slice of lemon. Present it with a smile or a kind word.

2. A gentle touch, for a child or partner. Fingertips on an arm, or brushed down the back, or a hand held for a second longer than you might have otherwise. Sit close and lean softly for a couple of seconds. Think one quiet, loving thought while you touch this important person.



photo by Sandra Dodd