Directions

Priorities are what will help one decide whether this moment's next step should be to the left, or the right, forward, or back, or just to stand and wait.

SandraDodd.com/priorities
photo by Chrissy Florence

Getting there

You get to a place by physically getting there, by emotionally getting there, by mentally getting there.

SandraDodd.com/listen/transformations
photo by Rodrigo Mattioli

Be thankful

Karen James wrote:

Be thankful. Notice little things throughout the day that are simply good. The health of your children. The pattern on the soap bubbles in your kitchen sink. How perfect a favourite mug feels in your hand or looks on a shelf. A laugh. An easy moment. The breeze. The sunshine. A connection with a loved one. A touch in passing. A deep breath. A full moon. A cat purr. A hole-free sock.

—Karen James

SandraDodd.com/karenjames/deschooling
photo by Holly Dodd

Capable and loved

Schuyler wrote:

I am often struck by how much of an effective method unschooling is. Maybe effective isn't the right word, but it feels right, or apt. I don't know of any other approach to people that helps them to feel more themselves, more powerful, more generous, more capable, more loved. And what an outpouring you get in response. And I feel so much better as this parent than I did as the parent I used to be.

—Schuyler Waynforth

SandraDodd.com/substance
photo by Sukayna

Remodel your mind

Once upon a time a confident and experienced scholar went to the best Zen teacher he knew, to apply to be his student. The master offered tea, and he held out his cup. While the student recited his knowledge and cataloged his accomplishments to date, the master poured slowly. The bragging continued, and the pouring continued, until the student was getting a lapful of tea, and said, “My cup is full!” The master smiled and said, “Yes, it is. And until you empty yourself of what you think you know, you won’t be able to learn.”

Weird Al says it a different way in “Everything You Know is Wrong,” and Christians say “You must surrender yourself.” Before that Jesus said, “Unless you become as a little child…”

What it means in homeschooling terms is that as long as you think you can control and add to what you already know, it will be hard to come to unschooling. The more quickly you empty your cup and open yourself to new ideas uncritically, the sooner you will see natural learning blossom.



SandraDodd.com/deschooling
photo by Sandra Dodd, of paintings on glass by Hema Bharadwaj

Learning to listen

"Listen to your body" isn't the best description. There are ways to pay attention to bodily clues that our culture and language came to ignore and deny.



In response to someone talking about her children self regulating, I wrote:

"Self regulate" means to make a rule and then follow it yourself. They're not self regulating. They're making choices. It's different. It's better!

---

My friend Bela sent me the following story, which has a good description of mindful living:

One zen student said, "My teacher is the best. He can go days without eating."

The second said, "My teacher has so much self control, he can go days without sleep."

The third said, "My teacher is so wise that he eats when he's hungry and sleeps when he's tired."

My kids did that!
photo by Beth Lamb

Plan B

Twice since the beginning of January, I've missed posting Just Add Light. I had a head cold, and it was snowy, and I stayed in bed long hours, at odd times. I'm sorry! I'm better.

As Plan B, I hope that any day you notice there was no post that you'll go to the blog and click the randomizer in the upper right. There are some great posts from years back. Odds are you'll find a good one!

Randomizer, upper right
(If you're on a phone, you could wait until tomorrow,
or get on a computer! The blog is prettier there.)
photo by Sandra Dodd

Invisible weeds

Weeding out terminology we would prefer not to mean improves thinking.

A hundred times or more people have said "just semantics" and "stupid" about me saying "don't say teach," which I've been doing for years. Every time someone says "taught" or "teach" they can slip back into the whole school thing and be seeing the world through school-colored glasses. If they do what it takes, mentally and emotionally, to recast their reports and then their thoughts in terms of who *learned* something, then they can start to see the world in terms of learning.

SandraDodd.com/control
is where the quote came from
but the "Mindful of words" page
might be good to see.
photo by Sandra Dodd

Tools and equipment

If you want to unschool, there's no curriculum to buy and you and your children will be discovering the secret passages and magical destinations without a schedule or a map.

To help you prepare for or strengthen your own heroic adventure, there are three tools you need, and a checklist of seven nest-building items for you to collect and protect.

Equip yourself with: confidence experience good examples Build your nest with food shelter love patience enthusiasm curiosity joy

SandraDodd.com/hsc/littletools
photo by Sandra Dodd

Parallel play

When a family is used to being together most of the time, it's easy to accept that one person could be having thoughts or experiences that don't match anyone else's, and people can still be happy in the situation. In a game, or looking at a display, or climbing, different people's experiences are their own, and learning will be happening within and around you all.

Shared experiences are not identical experiences.

SandraDodd.com/playing
photo by Janelle Wrock

Touch

When thinking of new things to do, consider the five senses—taste, touch, smell, sight, hearing. Not all people have all five, but try to do new and different things. There will be connections, and children will do unexpected things. Be flexible in your acceptance, when activities don't go the way you envisioned them.

Home-made play dough can have texture, scent, color, and by trapping some air in there, you can probably get sound out of it. There are recipes online for edible versions, but there's a good recipe on the "Young Children" page, along with dozens of other ideas.


SandraDodd.com/youngchildren
photo by Julie Markovitz

Images

Digital cameras provide the best opportunity ever for children to take photos. Offer them your phone or camera sometimes, and let them look in new ways. (Neck straps or wrist straps can be good.)

Save their photos for them, if you can.
See what they see.

SandraDodd.com/focus
photo by Marin Holmes

Being mindful

Try to be a good unschooling parent, a generous freedom-nurturing parent, a parent providing a peaceful nest, a parent wanting to be each child's partner. Try to make your decisions in that light.

SandraDodd.com/mindfulness
The text above paraphrases something I wrote there.
photo by Brigita Usman (click to enlarge)

Light, or joy

Several weeks ago, I requested photos that had "something to do with light, perhaps, or joy."

Thirty-four people sent at least two photos. Some sent more. Nearly a third of those had a similar photo—water play, usually in waves, near a shore.

I hadn't thought that there might be a predominant, iconic image of light and joy, but I think playing in water might be it!

The second most frequent theme was snuggling, or carrying another person. Sometimes it was parent and child, and other times siblings.

In third place for repeats was Lego!

Andrea Justice's set of five photos included a beach AND Lego!

You'll be seeing more of all of those over the next few months, and thank you all for letting us peek into the light and joy of your lives.

SandraDodd.com/joy
photo by Shannon Loucks

Leading lightly

John Quincy Adams is credited with having said, “If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.”

The sentence above came from a post by an unschooling dad, Sean Heritage. In the post he's talking about his unusual approach to his job as a Commander in the U.S. Navy. Some of his ideas might have been inspired by his unschooling experiences, but Sean's ability to see in the way he does must surely be making unschooling easier at his house.

In your family, in your unschooling, in each dyad/partnership within your family, if you inspire dreaming, learning, doing and becoming, you'll be leading in an exceptional way.

Sean's writing from which I pulled the quote: Unicorns and Fairies

Being your Child's Partner is probably the best match on my site.
photo by Megan Valnes

Peace and joy

Life isn't all peace and joy. Many people will say that, and it's true.

With hopeful, positive intentions and with ever more mindful choices, there can be more peace, and more joy.

Being a Happy Mom

photo by Lydia Koltai

When a tree is growing...

Each tree grows from a single seed, and when a tree is growing in your yard what is the best thing you can do for it? You can nurture it and protect it, but measuring it doesn’t make it grow faster. Pulling it up to see how the roots are doing has never helped a tree a bit.

What helps is keeping animals from eating it or scratching its bark, making sure it has water, good soil, shade when it needs it and sun when it needs it, and letting its own growth unfold peacefully. It takes years, and you can’t rush it.

So it is with children. They need to be protected from physical and emotional harm. They need to have positive regard, food, shade and sun, things to see, hear, smell, taste and touch. They need someone to answer their questions and show them the world, which is as new to them as it was to us. Their growth can’t be rushed, but it can be enriched.

SandraDodd.com/growth
photo by Andrea Justice

Side by side

I think being side by side with someone is a good way to focus attention away from eyes yet still on them, so they can speak without the intimidation and confusion of your face right in front of them.

Eye Contact

Leaning on a Truck
photo by Becky Sekeres

Quiet enough to hear

Sarah Thompson wrote:

They don't need my direction much of the time, but they need me to pay attention to what is happening *in case* I'm needed. I need to be quiet so I'm not filling up their world with my noise, and so that *I* can hear as well.

—Sarah Thompson

SandraDodd.com/quiet
photo by Susan Gaissert

Senses

Kids will want to taste snow. Help them find some that's clean enough. Same with icicles. You might know what dirt is on the roof, but let that go; find a cleanish one.

Kids will want to touch snow, see it, smell it. Just the other day a kid in my yard was talking about how different it sounded, walking in it on the third day, than the first day. It was squeaky, when it compressed.


What seems old and normal to you will be new to each child who is born and sees things for the first time. Be patient and generous and maybe you can see it again, as though it were new to you, through their eyes.

SandraDodd.com/addlightandstir
photo by Ruqayya

Imagination

See, appreciate, and encourage imagination.

SandraDodd.com/imagination
photo by Elise Lauterbach

Simple beauty

If you can see the beauty in plain and simple things, the world will be more beautiful.

SandraDodd.com/gratitude
photo by Sandra Dodd

Direction

Be glad to find things in life that can help you choose a good direction.

SandraDodd.com/direction
Photo by Charles Lagacé, in Nunavut.
Marie-France Talbot, the mom, wrote:
"Snow inuksuk (inuktitut for person subtitute) made by my husband and sons. They are usually made of rocks and they indicate direction."

Security and abundance

"Being generous and giving as much as possible to our children gives them joy. It also breeds generosity and creates a feeling of security and abundance. More is more."

—Anna Black

SandraDodd.com/abundance
photo by Jane Clossick

A sense of peace

"Radical unschooling can bring about such a sense of peace with one's own self, that it can be poured into the being of another."

—Megan Valnes

SandraDodd.com/empathy.html
photo by Sam Baykus

Humming along

Debbie Regan wrote, to someone afraid a child was "falling behind":

While schooly people are focussing on that fictional finish line, the real world is still humming along. People are walking around and past the fretting throng, living interesting lives, doing cool things, being productive, enjoying life.

—Debbie Regan

SandraDodd.com/behind
photo by Talia Bartoe

Personal connections

Each idea, object, concept, person, song, motion—anything you can think of—has personal associations for you. You have an incalculable mass of connections formed in your brain and will make more today, tomorrow, on the way home, and in your sleep.


SandraDodd.com/connections/
photo by Sandra Dodd

Calm awareness

Provide an environment in which they can grow in such calm self-reflection and awareness that they can learn naturally from the things around them.

SandraDodd.com/weight
photo by Erika Ellis


That quote is almost out of context,
though it's half of a sentence, word for word
from the page linked above.

Depth and breadth

Everything counts, and every connection made increases the depth and breadth of the map of the universe each person is building. It makes it easier to learn the next few things, because there are more places to hook the knowledge.

SandraDodd.com/strew/how
photo by Sandra Dodd