Sculpters of what's around them

"People who go to school are more able to take orders and be tougher. Homeschoolers are like masters, sculpters of what's around them."

—Kramer Wyllyamz (10)

SandraDodd.com/playing
photo by Phoebe Wyllyamz

Helping parents be awesome

photos are links

From a note that came in today from the mom of a toddler:

"Reading your book helped me make my relationship to my husband so much better. I only read the book a week ago and I already see a difference for the three of us. Our daughter is also so much happier because we are."

—Elaine Santana

and

"Sandra, I have been reading your Big Book of Unschooling and my 11 year old son started to read over my shoulder. He wanted to read more and took it away. When his 8 year old brother asked him what he was reading he replied 'It's this book that helps parents to be awesome.' That just about sums it up! Thank you xxx"

—Nicola Wright

Other feedback on the book is here: SandraDodd.com/bigbook
Cover art by Holly Dodd (black lines by Sandra)

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New cover, 10th anniversary edition:



2019; Forever Curious Press

Door stuff

Joyce Fetteroll wrote:

A computer, a hand held game, an iPod are doors that lead to a vast world of experiences. Just as your front door leads to a vast world of many different things you can do. Would you refer to all the things your family does by going through your front door—walks, shopping, visiting friends. mowing the lawn, vacations—as "door stuff"?

Stop looking at the door. See the richness that exists beyond the door.

—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/screentime.html
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Just life

When Kirby was 13 he was asked whether he liked homeschooling better than school. Most 13 year olds asked a question by an adult will look down and mumble "It's okay," or "I like it." Kirby made eye contact and said "I've never been to school. I have no basis for comparison."

So with no basis for comparison, my kids have just life.

(writing from 2004; can't find to link)

Fourth Birthday of Just Add Light and Stir

Thank you for looking, for reading, for thinking.

Thank you for being a conduit for peaceful ideas.


SandraDodd.com/peace
photo by Sandra Dodd

Shared lives

Parental encouragement, smiles, acceptance and support are what turn plain or unsettled life into magical and transformed shared lives.

How Unschooling Changes People
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Easy to miss

Something BIG happens when a person turns away from selfishness to service.

Something HUGE happens when a person can care about another person more than about himself.

SandraDodd.com/service
photo by Sandra Dodd

(Thanks to Marta Pires for saving that quote,
from a recent discussion.)
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Your child and the world

"Bring the world to your children and your children to the world."

—Pam Sorooshian

How to Be a Good Unschooler
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp

Random thoughts

When one of your thoughts leads to another, it's okay if you don't know why, or where it's going to end up. Fearlessly slide from one idea to another.

Thinking Sticks: Playing with Ideas
photo by Sandra Dodd

A wonderful collection

"The unschooling environment I create at home is just a wonderful collection of the best examples I have from the past and the present."

—Rippy Dusseldorp

Deschooling... "Like what?!"
photo by Sandra Dodd, at her own house
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Fully immeasurable

Our days are full and our learning is unmeasured and immeasurable.

SandraDodd.com/why
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Relationships and Wholeness

"Intellectually, I got unschooling all the way from the very beginning. The part that took more time was relationships and wholeness. When I got THAT, that is when things started happening in the direction that made unschooling work great!"

—Jenny Cyphers

SandraDodd.com/gettingit
photo by Jenny Cyphers (and it's a link)
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Lively abundance

Lisa J Haugen wrote:

There are very wealthy people who have no concept of abundance. There are very poor people who feel very rich indeed.
. . .Happiness, smiles, liveliness, peace—those are things an unschooling parent can go far on, even if their budget is tight.

—Lisa J Haugen

SandraDodd.com/abundance
photo by Karen James
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Flowing play

One of my guiding principles is that I want my children's worlds to be sparkly.

There goes the dull and the darkness. Easily not chosen, not an option.

SandraDodd.com/unschool/sparkly
photo by Julie D, in Leiden, at a playground
also seen here: Clearer and larger

The path to peace

"One of the biggest shifts in my unschooling journey has been changing my focus—staying in the present, letting go of the need to have things match my expectations (or those of the school world around me), relaxing my grip on What The Future Is Going To Bring. Letting go of the need to control the results is the path to living peacefully, because it keeps me oriented to The Process, to living mindfully in the present."

—Leah Rose

SandraDodd.com/moment
photo by Sandra Dodd

Polite and confident

"Lead by example. Be polite and confident, show trust and respect to those who deserve it and your kids will do the same."

—Lyle Perry

SandraDodd.com/lyle/list
photo by Sandra Dodd

Bigger, wiser, more whole

Giving children choices helps create a partnership, it helps them learn, it makes them bigger, wiser, more whole.

Pulling them out or pushing them into things keeps them smaller and more powerless.

SandraDodd.com/respect
photo by Sandra Dodd

Choices, for partners

When you choose to say something or to wait, think of which will be more patient, or less critical. If you decide to say something, think of two things and choose the one that is closer to the person you want to be. If you choose not to say anything, consider your posture and demeanor. Choose to be gentle, and not to express negative emotion.

Sometimes choose quiet space, but not hateful silence.

With practice, it gets easier.


SandraDodd.com/betterpartner
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Be inviting

In response to someone saying "I pulled her out of school…", I wrote:

Being pulled out of something sounds rough, and surprising, and a tad violent.

Being invited to come home is much sweeter, and gives the child an option and some power.

(That will work for any choice you can give a child to come home,
opt out, take a break from some activity.)

SandraDodd.com/peace
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp
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One peaceful choice

Lisa J Haugen wrote:

I make one peaceful choice, one bonding, relationship-building choice. Just one little choice.

Then it's easier to make the next one, and the next one, and sometimes there's wobble, but rebuilding peace and self esteem one choice, one moment at a time, is doable! When you do that you can get to really sweet, joyful, soul-warming places.

—Lisa J Haugen

SandraDodd.com/choices
photo by Sandra Dodd

Explore

Explore. Go with curiosity.

SandraDodd.com/curiosity
photo by Sandra Dodd

Approach perfection

Approach perfection, don't aim and fail. Be the best in the moment, but don't expect that to be "The BEST."


("Better" is a preferable goal. The quote above made sense in the chat, though.)

SandraDodd.com/better
photo by Sandra Dodd, of Holly, in Sausalito
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The big upside

"The big upside of unschooling, in my opinion, was that it also created an unexpected peacefulness, fulfillment, and happiness for all of us."

—Jenny Cyphers

SandraDodd.com/unexpected
photo by Karen James

How different...

"It's funny how different the world can look, when you're not so restricted in your thoughts."

—Kristen

SandraDodd.com/alwayslearning (new, at the bottom)
photo by Sandra Dodd

Living and being

Live the way you want your children to be. Be curious. Be thoughtful. Be patient. Be generous.

(from something about virtues)

Minimum bad; Maximum good!

Everything in moderation… no. Not everything. Not very many things at all. Bad things at the minimum, good things to the maximum, and hopefully not much at all sitting sadly in the in-between.

—Colleen Prieto

SandraDodd.com/abundance
photo by Sandra Dodd

Where are you headed?

When you come to an intersection, how do you decide which way to go? It helps, before operating a motor vehicle with all its attendant expenses and inherent dangers, to know where you want to go. When you DO have a destination, then each intersection has some wrong ways, and some better and worse ways.

It's the same with unschooling. If that's where you're headed, there are some wrong ways you can avoid simply by being mindful of your intent.

Mindfulness in Unschooling
photo by Sandra Dodd

Radical Unschooling is...

"Radical Unschooling" is unschooling fully, from the roots, from the principles, extended into all of one's life and being.


This was inspired by Family Bonding, Amy Childs interviewing me
about the benefits of radical unschooling.
(and there's a good transcript there)
photo by Sandra Dodd

Become trustworthy

Parents, in order to have their children trust them, should become trustworthy.
. . . .Trust and respect go together. Someone who is trustworthy will be respected.

SandraDodd.com/trust
photo by Lisa Jonick

The heart and mind of the parent

Robin Bentley wrote:

Radical unschooling (and the "radical" means "from the root") is all about mindset and changing beliefs and relationships for the better. Some people approach it from letting go of "academics" first, trying to see learning in everything. But if beliefs about learning and kids and partnership are changed first, then unschooling will proceed more smoothly. The real work is done in the heart and mind of the parent.

—Robin Bentley

SandraDodd.com/change
photo by Sandra Dodd

New and different

If an experience is new and different, children learn.

SandraDodd.com/beginning
photo by Sandra Dodd

Gratitude for everyday things

Spoons. Flush toilets. Roofs, walls, doors. Paper and lights. Colored markers.

Love. Time.

Thoughts. Ideas.

SandraDodd.com/gratitude/chairs
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Knowing someone loved them

We never minded putting them in the bed after they were asleep. It was rare they went to sleep in the bed. They would wake up there (or in our bed, or on the couch or on a floor bed) knowing only that they had been put there and covered up by someone who loved them.

Going to sleep wasn't about "going to bed."

SandraDodd.com/sleeping
photo by Sandra Dodd

Let's go see!

Explore the normal.

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SandraDodd.com/deblewis/discovery
photo by Sandra Dodd

Safe in his own home

One of my main principles has been that it's my job to protect the peace of each of my children in his or her own home insofar as I can. I'm not just here to protect them from outsiders, axe-murderers and boogie-men of whatever real or imagined sort, but from each other as well.

More of, and comments on, settling kids' fights
photo by Colleen Prieto

Think (think)

"Thoughts and opinions that don't match reality should be rethought."

—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/tvchoice
photo by Sandra Dodd

Swirls and connections

Joyce wrote:

A big part of natural learning is absorbing ideas and letting them swirl around in the background. They clarify. They form connections. If the subject comes up again in a few months, you may be surprised how differently you're looking at what you were wondering about.

—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/readalittle
photo by Sandra Dodd

Time and attention and focus

Schuyler Waynforth said, in a presentation in Australia:

When I stumbled across unschooling I grabbed hold.. . . The more I read and the more I experienced and the more I tried, the more that I could see a framework. It was my engagement that made a difference. It was my time and my attention and my focus that kept things moving better and more smoothly than it could ever have done without me.

—Schuyler Waynforth

SandraDodd.com/nest
art and photo by Holly Blossom