Swirling

"The top itself was not what caught Ethan's attention. For me, it was. For Ethan, it was the swirly lines that were the treasure he happened upon and wanted to explore more."

—Karen James, 2017

Strewing in Action
photo by Holly Dodd, 2009

Kind of a background thing

Pam Sorooshian, on strewing:

Strewing might be what I did at the Live and Learn conference when I noticed that some of the leaves were turning colors and, as I was heading to our room, I picked some up off the ground and left them on the bathroom counter so that my daughter would happen to see them when she used the bathroom. I have no idea if she ever noticed them or not. Or it might be that I'm getting something out of a closet and I notice a game that hasn't been out and played in a while, so I set it out on the living room coffee table.

When the kids were little, I was very aware of and more intentional about this habit—I picked up interesting rocks or feathers, put out different kinds of paper or markers or tape or a puzzle or an old hat or anything that might, even if just for a moment, interest someone. Now it is just a way of life and I don't think about it, but we all do it. It is kind of a background thing that goes on in unschooling families—it is part of what creates a stimulating, enriched environment for our kids.

—Pam Sorooshian

Strewing: Definition and Suggestions
photo by Sandra Dodd

Choosing choices

Go for ways to be kind, be a partner, say yes more than no, don't label children, HOPE that they will be better able to tolerate lots more things as they get older.

Choices are the way to go. Moms can practice them first, and help children have and make them as years go by.

SandraDodd.com/stress
photo by Andrea Justice
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What we know

We can't tell by looking at a child that learning is taking place. When unschooling is working well, though, we begin to know know that if they are interested, engaged and thinking, they are making their own connections, large or small.

SandraDodd.com/proof
photo by Chrissy Florence

Traction

Get your footing so you can make progress.

"That picture you paint for yourself will get in the way of seeing the whole, real person right in front of you.

"Be precise in the words you use to describe those you love, aim to support and care for. Be as generous as you can too. The clearer you see your child, the better you can respond to their needs. The better you learn to listen to them, see them, and be of useful service to them, the more they will have confidence in your ability to have their best interest in mind."

—Karen James

SandraDodd.com/condemnation
photo by Sandra Dodd

Stop time

Cameras can stop time. Memories can try. But really, the moment is gone and new moments are coming. Keep your balance, live lightly, be sweet.

SandraDodd.com/moments
photo by Parvine Shahid
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Diverge!

I had a professor, years ago, tell me that one mark of intelligence was the use of tools other than the way they were intended to be used. I thought that definition would show up in other places in my life, but it hasn't. So here I share it with all of you. Try not to say "That's not what that's for" too quickly—your child might be about to do something quite intelligent. "If you want to be creative, stay in part a child, with the creativity and invention that characterizes children before they are deformed by adult society." —Piaget, quoted by Deb Lewis in "Unguided Discovery"

SandraDodd.com/deblewis/discovery
photo by Andrea Taylor

Time and support

Ronnie Maier wrote:

"Unschooling works because the unschooled individual has the time and support to follow the interesting byways that lead to real learning."


SandraDodd.com/socialization
photo by Talie Bartoe

Open portals

When books are an obsession, it's considered a virtue. When mathematics is an obsession it's considered genius. When history is an obsession, that's scholarly.

When rock and roll is an obsession or folk art, or dance… maybe not as easily impressive to the outside world. But as all things are connected, let your child see the world from the portals that open to him, and don't press him to get in line at an entryway that doesn't sparkle and beckon.


from page 189 (or 218) of The Big Book, which links to SandraDodd.com/obsessions/feedpassions
photo by Lynda Raina
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All kinds of things

"Homeschooled children who grow up in a stimulating and enriched environment surrounded by family and friends who are generally interested and interesting, will learn all kinds of things and repeatedly surprise you with what they know." —Pam Sorooshian

SandraDodd.com/pam/howto
photo by Abby Davis

Commitment to optimism

Pam Sorooshian, in 2012 (pared down from the original):

Unschooling is a profoundly optimistic decision, and it involves a huge commitment to living a very optimistic life.

I think it is possible that THE most significant thing unschooling does is nurture optimism.

—Pam Sorooshian

SandraDodd.com/commitment
photo and quote reduction by Sandra Dodd
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A lot of DOING

I think unschoolers should let their kids do what they want all dayin an attentive and enriched environment.

The parents should be facilitators of natural learning, providing new and interesting things for their kids to experience, being supportive of their children's interests, providing them materials and experiences with music, food, art, materials...

It's a lot of DOING, and being, and learning, for years and years.

SandraDodd.com/neglect (cheery neglect)
photo by Sandra Dodd, of Robbie Prieto's Viking ship
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Braiding plastic ponies

"Soon I was up to starting with twenty-seven pieces (nested down to nine braids, then to three and then one) and then on to eighty-one. All the while I was learning about math: I saw that division is the process of taking a large number of things and grouping them into a smaller number of groups. In order to end up with one even braid at the end, I had to be able to divide the initial number evenly by three, then by three, and then by three again, until I ended up with just one braid."

—Christine Alvarado
and there's more at the link below

SandraDodd.com/mylittlepony
photo by Sandra Dodd, of Holly demonstrating this, years ago
(click to enlarge)

Am I doing enough?

Karen James wrote:

I asked the same question a few years back. I got an excellent, but unexpected reply. I was told if I thought I wasn't doing enough, then to do more. Now, if our unschooling days start to feel a bit stale to me, I try to make them lively again by using what I know about my son to introduce something(s) fresh to our experience. Doing this has never lead me astray. It might take me in a completely different direction from what I had in mind, but, to me, that's a big part of the fun of this life.

—Karen James

SandraDodd.com/enough
photo of Holly Dodd, by someone with her camera, in 2008

Mistakes

Deb Lewis, on a page I had never finished until yesterday:

It's more important for you to improve your parenting right now than it is for you to be soothed over your mistakes.

It feels *awful* to make mistakes. That awful feeling is useful though, because it's part of what helps us avoid doing that thing again. If we think of that feeling as a useful tool instead of a punishment, we won't feel so much need for comfort.

—Deb Lewis

More, about that, by Deb Lewis, here: SandraDodd.com/mistakes
photo by Sandra Dodd
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One and only childhood

"Soften your view of the world. Don't expend too much energy being against things. Be soft and sweet and peaceful while your child is young. There will be plenty of time to gnash teeth and shake your fist at the injustices of the world when your child's one and only childhood is over."

—Sylvia Woodman

SandraDodd.com/happy
photo by Sandra Dodd

See good, be good

We can't live as we are forever, but we can try to live with fewer regrets, and with patience, and with gratitude.

Be as good as you can be as often as you can be.



Becoming the Parent you Want to Be
photo by Holly Dodd, of herself, in India

The ABC's of Unschooling

Mary G. wrote in 2002:

When parents first stop using a curriculum, they sometimes feel as if they are left with a big hole in their family's day where the textbooks and worksheets used to be. They know there must be thousands of ways to live a day, a week, a life on their own terms and with the unique recipes of unschooling. But where to start? And what exactly does an unschooler do all day?

Obviously each family's answer will be different. In fact, each person's answer will be different. But there are some wonderful resources, ideas, tools and activities that many unschooling families have used together on their journey of unschooled learning. Here is MY family's version of the ABC's of Unschooling.

A: arts & crafts, animals, acrobatics, acting, alphabet magnets, art galleries, art classes, Anime, archery, allowance, A&E, Animal Planet, American Girl, Aerospace Museums

B: board games, books, books on tape, bike riding, baby-sitting, balloon animals, Brain Quest, basketball, baking, building, beading, braiding, bubbles, Boy Scouts, baseball, bird watching, bowling, blocks, building toys, bugs

(Read much more at the link below.)

The ABCs of Unschooling
photo by Sandra Dodd

Playing with dolls

Holly was here today. She's 22 years old now. In this photo, she was 14 or so.

Today she was trying out a new basket, for the possibility of being a babydoll bed. She has a babydoll collection. She was carrying one of her favorites around while we were talking, and asked me seriously why, when she has had it out in public, people have reacted so oddly. The only acceptable answer seemed to be that she was taking a class of some sort, and needed to carry a baby doll. Otherwise, they didn't know how to respond.

I gave her some possible responses to use ("I really like it" or "He feels almost like a real baby" or something conversational), but the real answer was that there is often pressure on kids to stop playing with certain things at certain ages. Baby dolls, maybe by the time girls are eight or so. Boys even sooner (if they were allowed to play with a doll at all).

Holly grew up without much pressure to conform to arbitary age rules. I'm glad.

SandraDodd.com/playing
photo by Sandra Dodd

Happy momentum

Jenny Cyphers wrote:

One of the very important aspects of unschooling that is solely on the parents, is to create a happy learning environment. Kids don't learn nearly as well when they aren't happy. It doesn't mean that every person needs to be happy at every moment of every day, it means that things that create happy momentum should be paramount from day to day.

—Jenny Cyphers

SandraDodd.com/happy
photo by Sandra Dodd
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