Into the future

One of the most important things to remember is that we have choices. It's the choices we make, consciously or unconsciously, that take us into the future.

—Karen James

SandraDodd.com/separation
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp
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Stay here

Some people seem to think unschooling takes them through a portal to some alternate universe.

Stay in the real world! Both feet, directly, right in your house, in your town, in your country, in this moment on this day.

SandraDodd.com/unschoolworld

SandraDodd.com/being
photo by Janine
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Preserve joy

With kids in the house, wanting mom's positive attention, the creation and preservation of joy provides a better environment for the whole family.

SandraDodd.com/perspective
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Heat and light

If I have a big woodpile, I don't have a fire. Even if I have a fireplace and matches and bellows and kindling and firestarters and a fire extinguisher and the chimney was just cleaned and inspected and I have a paper saying "good to go," I don't have a fire. Would wrought-iron fire tools on a cool rack help? What about a stained-glass fireplace screen, so no sparks can get out on the floor? I could subscribe to magazines for fireplace owners. I could join a yahoo group and a facebook page to talk about fires. I could be receiving catalogs with all kinds of fancy flameproof rugs and indoor wood racks and really cool slings for carrying wood in, and Ooh! What about a beautiful mantle?

Still no fire.

Meanwhile, the neighbors might have built a real, operating fire, in a little hole they dug and lined with scrap bricks or rocks, with wood they found in a vacant lot, and kindled it with old receipts and fast-food wrappers they found blown into the alley. Their fire has heat, their fire has light, if they're sitting around it talking and laughing, they have the benefit of the fire.

Some people want to look like they're interested and that they intend to hone their skills, but they don't actually want to do it, if it's going to involve any real combustion or change in them.


A Story of NOT Changing
photo by Sandra Dodd, of a fire in our own back yard,
not in a hole, but quite make-shift, 2012

Seven Years of Adding Light

Just Add Light and Stir was started in 2010 as a daily inspiration. Somehow it didn't occur to me that it might last seven years. So here begins Year #8.

I hope some of the posts have helped you be patient, and to smile.

Thanks for reading!

Last request for donations until 2020: SandraDodd.com/2017
beautiful stripey photo by Jill Parmer

Sorry I missed posting yesterday; I was up late
playing Chronology at the Free to Be Unschooling conference.

Happy memories

Think about what creates happy memories.

Something new and different. Time to play and relax. Smiles.

If you can think of what might mar a day like that, picture it as something to avoid. People can't be happy all the time every day, but the more you can allow happiness to flow, the more happiness you will see, and the more happy memories your children can have.

SandraDodd.com/happy
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp
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Social interactions

If you turn 180 degrees away from the myth and fantasy of how many friends kids have at school, and look at the real world in which you plan to live, things will look different.

Find people to visit, find places to go where other people will be. Begin to see people as people, rather than as pre-schoolers or school-age, or second grade. Just practicing that will take you MUCH nearer to peace about interactions with other people.


SandraDodd.com/socialization
photo by Janine

Friends

Friends might be siblings or cousins or neighbors, or might be in other towns or states or countries.

Skype and gaming can help them stay in contact.

If parents can find some opportunities to host or to visit, they should remember that the children will be learning from and with each other, while they gain fond memories. Consider it an expense of unschooling, to visit friends.

SandraDodd.com/socialization
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp
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Peacekeeping

One of my main principles has been that it's my job to protect the peace of each of my children in his or her own home insofar as I can. I'm not just here to protect them from outsiders, axe-murderers and boogie-men of whatever real or imagined sort, but from each other as well.

SandraDodd.com/peace/fightingcomments
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp
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Learning

In my life I put learning first. I always ask myself, which thing will help them learn more?

Why Radical Unschooling?
photo by Lisa Jonick

Real true, big enjoyment

Colleen Prieto wrote:


I am quite pleased that everyone in our little family feels quite free to be enthusiastic, passionate, and extremely into whatever we're into at the moment. All things Star Trek, cemetery exploration, birding, keeping track of the Yankees, Minecraft, and photography are things that right now are taking up most of our time. I don't think we're obsessed and I don't think we need to be more well-rounded and find "moderation." I think we're happy and having fun and learning , and that to me is all good.

—Colleen Prieto

The title of this post is also a Colleen quote from this page:
SandraDodd.com/toomuch
photo by Sadie Bugni

Thinking and feeling

How are you thinking?
How are you feeling?

How you are thinking and feeling is how you are living and learning.

SandraDodd.com/mentalhealth
photo by Marta Venturini Machado

Shared joy

Happy memories are good glue.

The quote is from SandraDodd.com/betterpartner,
but it applies to kids' friendships, and to family memories.
photo by Sandra Dodd
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What happens is...

What happens when you see other people differently is that you cannot help but see yourself differently. When you choose to find opportunities to give other people choices, you yourself have begun to make more choices.

from The Big Book of Unschooling, page 192 (or 222)
which links to SandraDodd.com/change
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp (her kids and Adam's family)

Wordless moments

Sometimes living lightly means letting things pass without comment. Words can be fun, but there is fun without words.

SandraDodd.com/reallearning
photo by Janine Davies,
of Kes and Holly

Richly and joyfully

Unschoolers don't "just live." They live large. They live expansively, and richly and joyfully. Those are the things that make it work.

SandraDodd.com/quotes
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp

Smiling and helpful

Children are born learning, and unless and until that joy is extinguished (by school or pressure or shaming or belittlement), it will thrive and grow. Learning is easy when the people around are smiling, encouraging and helpful.

SandraDodd.com/nest
The quote came from a comment I made on a YouTube video.
After I wrote it, I thought I should share it here.
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp

Be aware

BE AWARE of who this child is and of your potential to help or to harm.

SandraDodd.com/peace/noisy
photo by Sarah Dickinson

Live lightly and musically

Encourage your kids to play with music in all kinds of ways. They're learning and growing. Help them turn the scary music off, if they're scared. Encourage them to appreciate other people's artistry.

Live lightly and musically. And if you have a kid who doesn't seem very musical, don't worry a bit.


quote from a chat transcript linked here: SandraDodd.com/music
photo by Ravi Bharadwaj, at a Rock Band game session years ago
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"Do you just..."

Unschooling isn't "just" doing anything. It's stepping mindfully toward more and greater peace and partnership—toward an easy environment for learning to happen all the time.

Words above, Sandra Dodd. Link, Pam Sorooshian:
SandraDodd.com/pam/howto
photo by Jihong Tang, of Orion and Sandra