"What it takes to build a rich life is you — your time, energy, imagination, openness, passion, and optimism." —Claire Horsley |
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp
"What it takes to build a rich life is you — your time, energy, imagination, openness, passion, and optimism." —Claire Horsley |
Sometimes I would say "Hold on to something! I'm going to hold on to Marty!" so that it wasn't just a thing 'kids had to do,' but was a safety condition of crowdedness.I need even more help now, nine years later. Sometimes I help a grandchild or two.Now that I'm older, I still sometimes want to hold on to one of my kids when we're out, but now it's because I'm safer if they help me. Holly has held my hand crossing streets just this year, and she's 21. Marty and Kirby have helped me down stairs and off of steep curbs.
It's not just for children.
There's a common parenting myth that making our kids' lives easier, being sweet and kind and gentle with them, makes them greedy and unfit for adult life.
It is not true.
Kids learn from experience. When they experience a lot of kindness, they learn the value of kindness in very real, concrete ways. When we make their lives easier, we make it easier for them to learn more and more richly. And they're happier. And that makes parenting easier, because we're not dealing with kids who are stressed out and frustrated.What's near seems Big! Stay close to your children so they will be big in your life. |
Live the way you want your children to be. Be curious. Be thoughtful. Be patient. Be generous. |
When Kirby was offered a job in another state, including an allowance for his moving expenses, I wanted to be encouraging without seeming to push him out and shut the door. So we promised to leave his room available for
I felt better knowing he was only tentatively gone. It might have helped him to know that it wasn't "do or die" there, in Austin. He was able to decide whether he liked it enough to stay there, knowing he did have the option to return to his own room at home. A choice is always better than "no choice." We were able to cushion his leaving with a real fallback plan. |
Living by principles is what helps us keep moving smoothly even though the terrain is new.
It's amazing to see doing for others as a gift. It takes the whole angst about servitude away
There isn't any servitude in it when it's a gift.
I was at homeschool park day and someone's son asked to drink from his mom's water bottle - she said, "Sure have a sip." She said he'd do that often but it wasn't because he was thirsty, it was because it was his way of creating a quick and momentary reconnection with her. I saw that. There was a little moment there, for them. It was sweet. It had nothing to do with her drink or his thirst. She could have easily said, "Go get your own, you left it in the car," or something like that. We often don't know, really, what it means to another person, especially our own child, for us to do some little thing for them and we never know what we've missed if by not doing something. —Pam Sorooshian |