A path over water

Parent and child, crossing water, smiling. This image, or any one like it, is inspiring. For anyone, of any age, bridges can seem a little magical.

Another bridge post
photo by Ester Siroky

Continuing down the path

Leah Rose wrote:

Unschooling, deschooling, parenting peacefully, all of it called to me, deeply, but it felt like a huge risk, a giant gamble. But I'm so glad we didn't pull back, that we continued down the path. ...

Learning to parent mindfully, keeping my focus in the present, making choices towards peace, towards help and support, is not, as it turns out, much of a gamble or a risk. It is the surest path to connection and trust.

—Leah Rose

SandraDodd.com/guarantees
photo by Nicole Kenyon
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Strewing, and teens

Someone asked about strewing for a teen. I wrote:

Your family needs to be interested and interesting. Go places. Bring things and people in. Visit friends of yours who have cool stuff or do interesting things. Ask him to go with you if you take the dog to the vet. Drive home different ways and take your time. Putz around. Go to the mall some morning when it's not at all full of teens, and windowshop.

If you can afford it, find something in another town like a play, concert, museum, event and take him there. Stay overnight.

Go touristing somewhere not too far from you. Like if you had out-of-town guests, but just go with your son.

There are other ideas, too, at SandraDodd.com/strew/teens
photo by Karen James
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Meaningful learning

Learning must be meaningful. When a person doesn't see the point, when they don't know how the information relates or is useful in "the real world," then the learning is superficial and temporary - not "real" learning.

—Pam Sorooshian

Principles of Unschooling
photo by Sandra Dodd
(of booted feet of Holly D. and Heather B.)

People are different

Julie Daniel wrote:

One of the things that I really liked about the home education group was that the children were all different ages so Adam never realised that he was unusual in being able to read so early. Of course he knew that some children at the group could read and that some couldn't but in his mind that was just part of the concept that everyone is different — some children could run really fast and some were slow. Some children could go all the way across the monkey bars without letting go and some couldn't. Reading was like that. Some could, some couldn't. He didn't seem to notice until he was quite a lot older that he was an "early reader". And I liked that. It wouldn't have been possible in a school environment. —Julie Daniel

The lead-up to that is here: SandraDodd.com/julie
photo by Sandra Dodd

Engineering peace

Every bit of peace makes the world more peaceful. If you can engineer one peaceful moment, you can have two or ten.

From The Big Book of Unschooling, Sandra Dodd
photo by Eva Witsel

Tidbits here and there

Joyce Fetteroll, in Five Steps to Unschooling:

Forget the linear approach to learning we grew up with. For instance, we learned that the way to learn is to read "all the important" stuff about a subject gathered and packaged for our convenience in a textbook and then move on in line to the next package of information.

Sure, sometimes an interest will cause kids to gather up a huge chunk of learning all at once. This is easy to see. And easy to overvalue as the "best" way to learn.

More often kids will slowly gather interesting tidbits, making connections as things occur to them to create a foundation. They'll add pieces here and there over the years to build on that foundation. This is not so easy to see going on. And very easy to undervalue.

So, if we can train ourselves to see that process we can help it along by valuing the times when they see Thomas Jefferson on Animaniacs and then later on the nickel and then still later on Mount Rushmore. Those moments will establish a feeling of recognition and familiarity. Then the more tidbits they gather about Jefferson, the more interesting he becomes. And the more interesting he becomes, the more they want to know about him.

—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/joyce/steps
photo by Julie D, of a younger Holly Dodd and a little Adam Daniel
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Simple advice

"The advice that has helped the most has been the simplest. Be present. Be helpful. Be kind." —Virginia Warren

Chat on "getting it," August 2014
photo by Roya Dedeaux

Sources and resources

Learn however and whenever you can, and remember no one person has everything you need.


Movies that Influenced Me
Screenshot from "Searching for Bobby Fischer"

Direction and balance

When you can, be at peace.

SandraDodd.com/direction
SandraDodd.com/balance
photo by Renee Cabatic
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See everything

When parents see how and what their children are actually learning instead of just scanning for the half dozen school-things, unschooling will make sense to the parents. If you wait for school to congeal from a busy life, you'll keep being disappointed. If you learn to see everything instead of just school things, unschooling will start working for you. When you see it you will believe it.

SandraDodd.com/seeingit
photo by Ester Siroky

Enough to share

Energy is shared, and that's how unschooling works. Whether I'm excited about something new, or my children are excited about something new, there's still newness and excitement enough to share.

SandraDodd.com/balance
photo by Chrissy Florence
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Touch and calm presence

The more touch and calm presence parents can give a baby, the better, and if they can maintain that as children get older, it might turn into unschooling.

Quote matches Infants, Babies, Toddlers—source material for German translation of some of my writing published March 2018 as Sei ihr Partner, nicht ihr Gegner

photo by Ashlee Dodd
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Scary?

"It's *hard* to shift your thinking from the answers that are easier for you to the answers that are harmonious and respectful and fun for everyone. It takes more work and energy for sure.. . . ."Scary? Yep. Worth it? Beyond yes!"

—Michelle Thedaker

The longer quote is at SandraDodd.com/scary
photo by Lisa Jonick
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Loving presence

Each child, in the moment, doing something interesting in the presence of a loving parent... that works the same for anyone.

SandraDodd.com/partners/child
Marta Venturini saved this and quoted me in 2012.
photo by Ester Siroky

Soft and gentle

Be soft and gentle

Helping a child learn to hold a kitten or a puppy isn't always easy, but modeling how to do it gently and softly helps. Parents can remember those factors when touching babies and children, too. Is he comfortable? Is he safe?

Someone who can gently handle a puppy, and a baby, might remember those things when dealing with another adult.


SandraDodd.com/better partner
photo by Rose Sorooshian
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The peace of the world

Everyone who helps others unschool or to live peacefully with their children is contributing to the peace of the world.


SandraDodd.com/politics
(I wimped out of leaving the full, real quote, but I left the positive part.)
photo by Megan Valnes

Playing that game

A parent with a child who loves a video game should look at what is wonderful about that. He is physically able to operate the controller or whatever it is (keyboard, wii, touch screen). He is bright enough to figure out at least part of a game that has aspects that would challenge any player. He has found something that sparks his joy or curiosity. He is playing that game, rather than doing something sad or destructive or negative.

SandraDodd.com/gratitude
photo by Karen James
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Conscious and continuous

Have a conscious, continuous and mindful partnership with your child.


Partnerships and Teams in the Family
photo by Cátia Maciel
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Your unique kids

It helps unschooling and mindful parenting to be aware of your kids and their unique needs rather than treating them as generic kids with all the worst possible traits.

—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/mindfulparenting
photo by Karen James
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