It's not magic.

Joyce Fetteroll wrote, on quora.com:

So much stress could be avoided if parents had realistic expectations of their child's development. If a child's actions say, "I'm not ready yet," they aren't ready.. . . .
It’s important to note that you aren’t seeing a random sample of children at restaurants. The wise parents of kids who aren’t yet ready to handle a restaurant meal don’t bring them to restaurants. It’s not magic. It’s wisdom.

—Joyce Fetteroll

(Question about children in a restaurant)
photo by Jill Parmer
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One peaceful moment

There is a song from the 1950's that is sometimes sung in churches and meetings, and the first line is "Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me." Every bit of peace makes the world more peaceful. If you can engineer one peaceful moment, you can have two or ten.


from "Comforts," page 12 of The Big Book of Unschooling
photo by Gail Higgins
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Good job! (Is it?)

EVERY DAY you should wonder whether you're doing a good job. And you should do what it takes for you not to wonder about that.

I don't know where I wrote it, but Sylvia Woodman quoted me, in 2011.
I will match it with... Thoughts about doing better
photo by Gail Higgins

Deschooling is healing

Deschooling, when done thoroughly, leads us through all the stages of our own lives, gradually, as our children get older. As each of my children reached the ages in my life that I had stress as a kid, I had emotions arise, again, but with the third it was milder than with the first.

It's healing, to treat our children in ways we wish we had been treated.

When Parents Have Issues
photo by Gail Higgins
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Quietly alert

If you can choose to be more aware over less aware, that will help.

One aspect of awareness is working on your ability to be quietly alert, like a mother hawk, aware of the location of your child, her mood and your surroundings.

A Loud Peaceful Home
photo by Karen James
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Be open to learning

When something someone heard from a friend or read on a blog is stated adamantly as TRUTH, rational thought has been batted away. Some people have the fervor of conversion upon them, having heard that there is an easy way to SAVE their families from disease and death, to make their children smarter, and better behaved; to make themselves strong and beautiful into old age. It is partially fountain-of-youth stuff. It is partly an attractive excuse for controlling children (and spouses, sometimes).

The quote is from a page about food as a religion, but it's really about control
(being too easily influenced, and then trying to pass it on)
photo by Amy Milstein
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Practice, quietly...

Sometimes parents talk too much.

Practice being quiet.

SandraDodd.com/quiet
photo by Robbie Prieto
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Thinking...

Read a little, try a little, wait a while, watch.

SandraDodd.com/readalittle
photo by Colleen Prieto\

Running or risking

If a parent runs frightened from too many things, they will lose dignity, the child's trust, and their ability to unschool as happily and effectively as they could have if they had been calmer and more accepting of risks.



SandraDodd.com/radiation
(In context the dignity and trust bit refers back to something, there.)
photo by Karen James
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In a moment

"It helps a lot to try for better moments not days. Don't judge a day by one upset, judge it as a bad moment and move forward. A little bit better each moment. A little bit more aware."

—Schuyler Waynforth

SandraDodd.com/parentingpeacefully#moment
photo by Karen James
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Seeing through

Most of what happens in the world, I will never see. Most of what happens in my own back yard, I don't see. Most of what I see, I don't understand, or fully consider. That's the way the world is. That's the way people are. You will see some beauty. You will understand some things.

SandraDodd.com/
photo by Kristy Hinds
So much, in that photo!

Comfortably and happily

Just like ALL learning, learning how to live comfortably and happily are really wonderful things. It takes a focus on turning away from what you know you don't like and turning towards something else—that something else that creates happy learning and living. Unschooling really is a shift in thinking and then acting on it.

—Jenny Cyphers

SandraDodd.com/unschool/definition
photo by Colleen Prieto
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A safer, softer parent

There's something about patience that's biochemical. Some people are more naturally patient than others. When an impatient person has a child, though, and especially if that impatient person wants to be an unschooler, it's good to look at ways to become a safer, softer parent. It's win-win, if stress is minimized and life is smoother.

SandraDodd.com/patience
photo by Marji Zintz (click to enlarge)

Usually unusual

Even in New Mexico, it can be difficult to see a roadrunner. They don't live in groups and they don't make much noise. A person might live in Texas for a long time and not see a live armadillo. Don't worry if you miss seeing something cool, but be grateful for lucky sightings of mystery or beauty. Something normal near you might be exotic everywhere else.

More "more"
photo by Holly's friend Eliza

Moment

It's better to think of good moments or bad moments, rather than to curse a whole day with "this is a bad day."

The next moment can be better.

SandraDodd.com/moment
photo by Colleen Prieto

Still

Still: quiet, calm; without motion, at rest, not moving from a place, not disturbed; moving little or gently; silent; not loud; secret; unchanging, undisturbed, stable, fixed; not vehement, gentle
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"Still" has meant those things for a thousand years. Longer. Still.

Be with your child, still.

Wiktionary is where I got the Old English definition
photo by Gail Higgins

Seeing

Most of what happens in the world, I will never see.

Most of what happens in my own back yard, I don't see.

Most of what I see, I don't understand, or fully consider. That's the way the world is. That's the way people are.

You will see some beauty.
You will understand some things.

Seeing and being
photo by Ester Siroky
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Moment

Don't miss too many moments of your life. They go by. A bad moment can be followed by a new, improved, better moment.

SandraDodd.com/badmoment
photo by Karen James

Which came first...

Which came first, curiosity or learning? Exploration or knowledge?

If you're lucky, and open to it, they will tumble and leapfrog over one another in all the best times of your life.

Exploring
photo by Gail Higgins
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Better than perfect

"Better" is better than perfect. Don't be competitive, with yourself or others. Aim for peace and improvement.

SandraDodd.com/betterchoice
photo by Gail Higgins
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