More peaceful

Someone on unschooling.info (now defunct) was frustrated with advice that she be more gentle with her daughter and wrote:

You guys do it your way, let your kids run wild, let them curse, let them do every little thing they want to do.

arcarpenter/Amy responded:

That's really not how my house looks or feels—not wild, not out-of-control. There is something in-between the extremes of demanding obedience and having children feel and act out-of-control all the time. The something in-between is giving feedback about how a behavior is affecting me and others, while also being understanding that the behavior is coming from a valid need. The something in-between often takes more time and attention than either of the extremes, but it is worth it, because my children get a chance to problem-solve and to grow in their own emotional awareness now, when they're young, instead of trying to figure it all out on their own when they're older.

. . . .
The more we practice these principles, the more peaceful our house becomes. *That* is what our house looks like—not what you described above.

Peace,
Amy

What I left out was a story with examples of how unschooling was creating peace at their house. It's here: SandraDodd.com/peace/fighting
photo by Gail Higgins