Below is part of a response by Robyn Coburn to a doubtful mom saying if ALL her kids wanted to do ALL day EVERY day was..., that she would have a problem. After creating some other all-day-interest examples, Robyn wrote:
The fact is that even if it is ALL they want to do for ALL day EVERY day, it will still be temporary; EVERY day would still not last forever. It would be a temporary need being fulfilled. Discovering and facilitating the children's passions is another tentpole of Unschooling practice. A child discovering something that they *want* every day is cause for celebration.
The only way to know if your children genuinely, truly want to do the other activities is if they have the option to choose not to do them. They can only choose to switch it off when they have the option to leave it on.
—Robyn Coburn
photo by Chris Chambliss
As I went through photos to find something to match this text, it was interesting that all the things I saw that kids might want to do for days on end were, in those photos, special moments or temporary conditions. A pool party. Making a snowman. Play-fighting with a friend and his dad. Touching things in a museum. Being at a playground, with out-of-town friends.
ReplyDeleteLooking back at that list, though, none of them would be done day after day either.
So *IF* a parent really wants to mix things up, offer something better than the new interest. Take the family out to an exciting place, to do something really fun.
If the most fun thing for that child, though, is to work on the same Lego sculpture, or to play the new Zelda game through to the end, or to finish watching a series on Netflix, reconsider whether you want to disturb that obsession, which WILL have an end.
By e-mail, to share, from Angela J Booth:
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely 👍🏻.
My always-unschooled kids ( they were 3 and 6 at our first conference, and my 6 year old had never been to school) are adults now, and we continue to live this wonderful lifestyle.
It is so beautiful and reassuring for me to see them navigate their choices with clarity and confidence, because they’ve been allowed and supported to do that their whole lives.
We share our lives harmoniously and voluntarily.
Their Dad and I get to be right there in their inner circle, because they trust us.
My 18 year old son is experiencing a speeding- up in some areas of his life. Some of his dreams are realizing right now and he is thriving. Why, because he is very good at referencing himself for what to do next. He KNOWS himself. He is up-to-speed with who he is, so even challenging situations are manageable, solvable, and even pleasurable.
My 21 year old moved in with his longtime girlfriend in an another state two years ago. We all drove with him and cheered him on. Although a great leap had occurred and all grew from it, that situation proved unsatisfying over time. He chose to come home.
What was so positive about it was the basic attitude of the whole thing was one of success, not failure. He saw it as a successful event in his life, and looks forward to more life opportunities, while regrouping with us who are his family (his support) system.
It could have been otherwise. Viewed as a mistake or failure, instead of the living-and -learning life-fun, would have been devastating and surely diminished his confidence, and subsequent moves.
Thank you Radical Unschooling. Thank you Sandra Dodd, and all the others who went before me (Erika Petrie Davis, Pam Sorooshian and many more).
And one major key: the clarity of the example of trust in the process of RADICAL Unschooling.
Paraphrasing Sandra Dodd, “you can’t swim across the pool with one foot on the deck.”
SO TRUE!
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