Saturday, February 19, 2022

Controversial topic

When a family stays together, and when the marriage is improved and solidified, it's not just good for the children. It's good for the grown children, and grandchildren. It's better for holidays and family events, for estate planning and inheritance. It's better for being able to leave photo albums out, and photos of children with their parents still out on the wall, without trying to revise history to keep from offending new wife, new husband, girlfriend, boyfriend. It's better for casual stories like "Remember when we went to White Sands?" It's less likely that a story will need to be abandoned midway or trailed away from because someone who was there, and fun, is now estranged from the family.

I didn't know, years ago, that unschooling could strengthen a marriage. I did know that a good marriage would strengthen unschooling.
photo by a waiter, with my camera, 2011

P.S. Why is that controversial?

I have been criticized, over the years, for encouraging people to be kind and compassionate to partners or spouses. I have also been thanked by people whose marriages became stronger because of those ideas, or by the use of unschooling principes in general.

Although I am sympathetic to people whose marriages have failed for reasons beyond their control, there are divorces that could have been avoided, and there are relationships still in the future that could benefit by being bathed in sweetness and patience, humor and positivity.

1 comment:

  1. The photo is from our 27th wedding anniversary. We took our kids to dinner with us. Kirby was visiting; he lived in Texas. Marty and Holly still lived at home. Holly was 19, Marty was 22, and Kirby was 24.

    Now we're all in Albuquerque, but in four different houses. The boys are married, with children.

    Holly is 30, and said earlier this month that she was glad that Keith and I had stayed together. I am too, for my own reasons, but it's a bonus that she's also glad.

    I was divorced, in my early 20s'; no children. That still hurts. I could have done better. Many people encourage divorce, and make it easy, but I wish they wouldn't.


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