Sunday, September 15, 2013

Joy and optimism!

If joy and optimism seem stupid, don't even try to unschool until after you've gotten some therapy or made direct strides toward recovering from the sooty veil of negativity. Children won't benefit from a life guide who is sure he or she is smarter than all the rest of the world. Arrogant certitude prevents learning.
From the notes for a talk given in 2012 in Sacramento
photo by Sandra Dodd


  1. Agreed. It wasnt / doesnt work for us when I get caught up in the how to's or revert to past habits... took me a few rounds to realize... it's me! It's best to just Love and Do!.. which I found really HARD at first and it's getting easier day by day...

    Last week Grocery Shopping>>

    Last week I was overwhelmed with stuff to do... I asked for help from the kids. So when it was time to meal plan / grocery shop. I asked if they could please help and they agreed. Everyone got to make their own grocery list, everyone came up with a meal, everyone came up with a lunch and cereal of choice for the week. I told them I had enough budget that they could also each add 1 Big treat they get to share and 1 little treat for themselves. Off we went to the store.

    I had a moment of major panic == my 6 year old daughter (I forget she is six and so does she) disappeared at the grocery store == I was in a panic mood for a bit as the boys and I looked for her.

    She spotted me and came running up to me pushing her own little cart.

    ***I almost lost it! I was so emotional, so very frustrated and it could have easily turned into anger toward myself but pointed at her. BUT I took a breath. BREATHING WORKS GREAT... I took breath and I looked into her little face which was starting to loose it's smile. This thought crossed my mind... she knows what to do if a stranger did ask her to go with them or tried to grab her so... AND nothing happened!! MOM bit her tongue and smiled.

    Do you know what I saw? PURE JOY! Her face lite up in a Big Smile.

    I took a deep sigh of relief and looked in her cart where everything was in check out bags. She checked out and paid all by herself and was Damn Proud of herself.

    **I almost spoiled that for her. I big smile came across my face! One I didnt spoil that for her, I was learning. Two ... she should be Damn proud of herself!

    I wish I'd seen the casheir who rang her up. She'd have seen a 6 year old girl in "hello kitty shirt and shoes" buying a Ceasar Salad Bag Kit, 2 pkgs of hot dogs, 4 cans of tomato soup, 1 pkg elbow noodles, 2 packs of key lime yogurt, box of cereal, 2 pkg of strawberries, 1 bag of carrots. 1 pkg of gum and airheads.
    I wonder what the Cashier thought!!

    I didnt even know she had that much cash with her. My daughter told me that cashier had asked her where her Mom was and she told her "Ya, Mom is still working on her grocery list. Dont worry I have a book in my purse to read while she finishes. I'll be on that bench if you see her"

    That sooty veil of negativity... it spoils little moments like this.

  2. Thank you for sharing this her, Kim. It's beautiful.

  3. Thank you Sandra for helping me step past that veil daily, and Kim for your story. I cried reading it, and know it will come to mind sometime when I need it.

  4. Great story Kim! Isn't amazing what we see in them and in us when we let go of that veil of negativity?

  5. Kim, that is great!! Initially I'm sure it was scary... does your daughter have a phone yet? If I can't find one of my kids who is with me, I'll text them or they'll text me "where" & sometimes we see each other just before clicking send, lol... my youngest is 12, so it's getting a little less scary than it used to be.. he was 8 or 9 when he started carrying a phone & neither of us remember when he first got it..


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