Don't fear sweetness

"I was wondering what you ladies think about food..." wrote someone, one time.

I responded, in part:

There are men here, too.

What I think is that every bit of energy and thought spent on anything other than your own child(ren) takes away from your time with them. What I know for absolute certain is that a calm, accepting mother is better for life and learning than a fearful, controlling mother ready to yank things away and yell and give up friendships over sweets or snacks.

The Full Plate Club
photo by Tara Joe Farrell
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Questioning and learning

Pam Laricchia said:

I recall when I was beginning unschooling, my days were typically a mix of learning about how natural learning works and starting to question a lot of the conventional wisdom I’d absorbed growing up. There are many ways that preconceived ideas and prejudices can limit people’s thinking and get in the way of moving to unschooling...

—Pam Laricchia

Changes in Parents with Sandra Dodd
photo by Karen James, of her own art (process and progress)
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You can't see everything

You can't see everything.

You can't be everything.

Limitations are real, and some limitations are time, patience, focus, knowledge, weather, health...

Knowing you can't be perfect, be better than you would have been if you were not aiming to be a better parent, better partner, and better person.

You can't see everything, but you can slow down and try to see more.

Thoughts about doing better
photo by Elise Lauterbach

Funding future learning

If a child isn't interested in college, the parents shouldn't do the happy "we won't have to pay for college!" dance without considering whether there are other ways a portion of that college savings or loan potential could be applied to helping the child toward learning and experiences they couldn't have partaken in as younger children, and which might also lead to a career.

If your child wants a camera or art supplies, a musical instrument or skis or a better computer, don't see it as a toy, but as a tool and as an entrée into a community of people from whom they can learn more.

from the "Interesting Alternatives to College" section of
The Big Book of Unschooling, page 304 (263 of first edition)
photo by Chelsea Thurman

A better direction

Is the cup half empty, half full, defective or overflowing?

One mindful step in a better direction can be joyous. You don't need to reach a destination to have joy.

The Big Book of Unschooling
page 318 (or 275, if it's yellow)
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Light and shadow

Shadows can be fun to play with, and to notice. I've always liked it if a bird or an airplane made a shadow on me. Be a light, when you can be. Practice thinking about what you might be overshadowing. If you're in the desert, remember that it can be courteous to stand where you will shade someone who's tired or overheated, or is trying to read something. Be a courteous light.

SandraDodd.com/light
photo by Sandra Dodd

Ever-changing opportunities

Each little experience, every idea, is helping your child build his internal model of the universe. He will not have the government-recommended blueprint for the internal model of the universe, which can look surprisingly like a school, and a political science class, a small flat map of the huge spherical world, a job with increasing vacations leading to retirement, and not a lot more.

Unschooled children can organize their knowledge in free and better ways. They never need to feel they are through learning, or past the point that they can begin something new. Each thing they discover can be useful eventually. If we help provide them with ever-changing opportunities to see, hear, smell, taste, feel, move and discuss, what they know will exceed in breadth and depth what any school's curriculum would have covered. It won't be the same set of materials—it will be clearer and larger but different.
Seeing It
photo by Catherine Hassall
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