All-terrain principles

I got really good at being an unschooling mom to a six year old, and I got to repeat my tricks another couple of times, though each child was different. I didn't know ANYthing about having a twelve year old, though. And stuff like that kept on happening!!

Living by principles is what helps us keep moving smoothly even though the terrain is new.

me, in a discussion at Always Learning that has several great posts by others
photo by Karen James
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Relax into peace

"Power struggles can disappear when the person with the power stops struggling."

—Deb Lewis

SandraDodd.com/deblewis

SandraDodd.com/battle
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Options and possibilities

Jennifer Wells wrote:

Sit with your child and notice what they love. Offer options and possibilities and help them do as much as they want of what they love. Let them explore, refuse, experiment, and leave aside—in that process they will learn and learn and learn!

—Jennifer Wells

SandraDodd.com/being
(a directory page about ways to be with, and for, children)

photo by Amber Ivey

Much better

There are no "violent video games." Kids are sitting on a couch in their parents' home pushing buttons on a remote control. That's not hurting them or anyone else. (Or young adults are home sitting and pushing buttons, instead of being out drinking or vandalizing something.)

In every single case of real-life violence anyone can think of, wouldn't it have been better if the perpetrator had been home on the couch than out causing trouble? 🙂

SandraDodd.com/violence
photo by Sandra Dodd in 2012,
of a cool casual arrangement of stuff at Lisa Jonick's house

Learning leaps and lingers

School creates the illusion that learning is a smooth curve, divided into hours, units, terms, years. Sometimes unschooling parents look for that.

Often, learning happens suddenly, like a flash. A person "gets it" or makes a connection between two things. It's fine to rest for a few days after that!

Folklorists who study traditional ballads say "A ballad leaps and lingers." Later, films did that, too. Though many ballads are ancient-old, they are a bit like movies. They might start in the middle of an action scene, or with a mysterious dilemma. A scene might be portrayed in great detail, and the next scene pick up six months or three years later in the story. Learning can be that way.

Doing something "in fits and starts" means there are stretches of quiet nothing, and then suddenly things are happening. Then nothing, again, for a while. Learning is like that.

In the novel Shogun, the character Mariko says early on:

We have a saying that time has no single measure, that time can be like frost, or lightning, or a tear, or siege, or storm, or sunset, or even like a rock.

Try not to measure.

The learning Curve of Unschoolers
photo by Karen James

Slowly and patiently

"If a frustrated child is frustrating you, then find ways to eliminate things that frustrate your child. Go more slowly, be more patient in each and every interaction." —Jenny Cyphers

Bonding
photo by Amber Ivey

Cats and history and folklore

Before looking at any links, you might want to try to think of a dozen or more examples of people keeping, shunning, worshiping, fearing, singing about, imagining, or poetically dancing about, or as, cats. You probably won't need to look far.

Think beyond house cats to wild and jungly, crazy, cartoony, and alien-species-imagined cats.

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Once you've thought up your own, you might check against other people's lists here:

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Cats in Literature? It’s a Long Tail

Feline Good with Our Favorite Literary Cats

Here, Kitty, Kitty… 20+ Children’s Books That Are the Cat’s Meow

The Worship of Cats

15 of the Most Famous Cat Characters in Books
That title was changed to "15 Well Known Cats in the Bookish World," but they didn't change the original title in the code. Somehow, there were discussions and disagreements there. Perhaps it was about cartoons and films.

Cats in stories and songs (a Google search link)

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scratch-art by Devyn Dodd
photo by Sandra Dodd