Control

If you think of controlling yourself, and of your children controlling themselves, it's still about control. If people live by principles their choices come easily.



SandraDodd.com/self-regulation
photo by Holly Dodd

Even though it's natural...

There is a natural need in people to know the "us" and the "them." Those who want an inclusive, multicultural, liberal, accepting life will still have a "them." It's easy to revile "the enemy." It might be impossible NOT to have the idea of "other." But creating a "culture" or nation that is created of a combination of others won't save any individual from their own instincts.

Accept and try to accept what is a natural part of human nature. Then figure out ways to live peacefully, and kindly, and gently, for the sake of your children, and of others.

SandraDodd.com/antagonism (the first part is from there)
photo by Whitney DiFalco

Constant flow of thoughts

Rebellion for the sake of rebellion is as bad as conformity for the sake of conformity.


SandraDodd.com/issues
photo by Karen James

Lucky Kirby!

Kirby, my oldest, was born in 1986. I went to La Leche League (LLL). There I learned a crucial concept: my child and I were partners, not adversaries. What was good for him was good for me. At that time I had been going to Adult Children of Alcoholics meetings for a little over a year, and there I learned that we need to avoid repeating our parents' parenting mistakes, and that by raising our own children gently and respectfully, that we would heal our own hurts.

Lucky Kirby!

SandraDodd.com/unschoolingworks 2002
photo by Ester Siroky
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Active participants

"Unschooling is not child-led or child-directed learning — that makes it sound like the parent should just be a 'follower.' Not so — parents are active participants and part of the job of an unschooling parent is to keep the child in mind and to fill his/her life with just the right amount of interesting new experience, chances to repeat experiences, down time, and so on."

—Pam Sorooshian

SandraDodd.com/nest—Building an Unschooling Nest
photo by Nina Haley
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Invisible creations

Can a person create negativity? If so, a person should be able to create positivity.

"Happiness Inside and Out" (quote from the notes)
photo by Jaspreet Boparai

A little push

If you're trying to help push someone's car and it's not going anywhere, sometimes pushing harder helps. Occasionally, though, you just have to say, "Is it in neutral or not?" If they say, "No, it's in first gear, push harder," what are you going to say? You stop pushing and say "You have to put it in neutral first."

So before anyone can enjoy the benefits of unschooling they have to "put it in neutral." They have to take off the emergency brake. Otherwise the car won't move. Too many people say "We tried pushing the car, it didn't move, we bought a new one. Pushing cars never works."

An analogy from 1997, with notes on the "have to" parts here:
SandraDodd.com/parentalauthority
photo by Sandra Dodd