Snapshot

Things change. Babies grow. Young parents get older.

See what you have. Remember what is good, from this moment, from this time.

What is not memorably good, perhaps you can make better for the next moment.

SandraDodd.com/gratitude
photo by Lydia Koltai, a beautiful selfie
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Go for healthy.

There is a difference between lack-of-mental-illness and mental health. What I mean is that one is not right on the edge of the other. There is a large land between being incapacitated and being really healthy and energetic and usful to other people. Don't settle for barely-back. Go for healthy.

SandraDodd.com/mentalhealth
photo by Lydia Koltai
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Soft

Sometimes children are soft, in soft surroundings, and a mother's heart is soft.

Sometimes they're loud, sticky, and stinky. Sometimes moms are frazzled.

Remember the quieter times will be there, too. Help to soften their lives.

SandraDodd.com/calm
photo by Lydia Koltai
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Peace in the bank

Do what will help your baby. Be the gentlest, sweetest, most attentive mother you can possibly be, and you will be putting peace in the bank for you and your whole family.

Though that was written about infants, it could work with older kids, too!
SandraDodd.com/mentalhealth
photo by Lydia Koltai
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Sharing a moment, together

When we "give someone our time," what is it we give? Sometimes attention, or service. Maybe assistance, or advice.

Instead of thinking that I "give" my child my time, it helps to think of us sharing a moment, together.


"Being there for and with the family" seems so simple and yet many parents miss out on it without even leaving the house. Maybe it's because of English. Maybe we think we're "being there with our family" just because we can hear them in the other room. There is a special kind of "being" and a thoughtful kind of "with" that are necessary for unschooling and mindful parenting to work.

SandraDodd.com/being
photo by Lydia Koltai

Fun, home, family

Fun / home / family is more welcoming (and helpful for unschooling) than not-school / your-behavior / autonomy.

from Radical Unschooling Info
photo by Lydia Koltai
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A toddler's whim

Dawn Todd wrote:

Whim is such a dismissive word.

A toddler's "whim" is their urge to explore and understand! One of my greatest joys as a parent is being able to facilitate that!

—Dawn Todd

(Original)
photo by Lydia Koltai

Sweet dreams

Sleep is crucial and peace is good. We don't know what experiences and ideas our children are processing, but the more often they go to sleep gently and wake up sweetly, the better their lives will be.

Dreams
photo by Lydia Koltai

Comforted, entertained, loved

Too many parents talk and talk to their kids, and ask them how they feel and ask them what they need.

Learn to guess. Learn to provide in advance. Food is good to practice with. Soft, clean cleared-off beds are good to practice with. Clearing off space for video gaming is nice. Soon you start to think about heat, softness, clean clothes, toothpaste before it runs out, favorite foods when you shop. And then people feel heard and comforted and entertained and loved.

SandraDodd.com/quiet
photo by Lydia Koltai

Nicer and kinder

"If someone can take a moment to consciously be nicer and kinder to their children, a shift can take place. The choice to be nicer removes the choice to be mean. That can become a habit." —Robin Bentley

SandraDodd.com/nicer
photo by Lydia Koltai
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"Body Smart"

There are eight or ten intelligences people have, in different combinations and degrees. One is "bodily intelligence," or kinesthetic intelligence.


Bodily-kinesthetic covers dance, body-awareness, physical talents that might be used for sports or knot-tying or wood carving or physical therapy. Some people are only slightly aware of how their bodies work and what their capacities are. Some people seem to be born knowing, or using their bodies well without even thinking about it.

See and appreciate physical skills.

Multiple Intelligences
photo by Lydia Koltai

Improvise!

Be sweetly and courageously creative.

Old and New (creativity)
photo by Lydia Koltai

Dreamy

Dreamy. "Dreamy" can be attractive, or otherworldly. Dreams only take a moment, some say. "Dream big," others say. Let ideas float and flit, dreamlike, through your waking and sleeping. You don't need to catch them all.

SandraDodd.com/learnnothingday/2009
photo by Lydia Koltai

Props

Props and costumes can help children to perceive the world in a slightly different way, and those thoughts add to their knowledge.

SandraDodd.com/imagination
photo by Lydia Koltai

Learning is...

Nothing on paper is learning. Nothing recited is learning. Nothing in a conversation is learning....

Learning is putting information together in one's own head so that it makes new and different sense. It always and only happens inside the learner.

The Problem with Teaching is...
photo by Lydia Koltai

Firsts

Sandra's writing from 1993:

People want to see the first step and hear the first words of their babies, they say, when they don't put their children in daycare. I was lucky to be able to afford to stay home with my kids and I am thrilled to be the first to see them respond to their first-whatevers.

A couple of weeks ago I got to see the look of amazement on my six-year-old's face when he colored a Mobius strip and then cut it in two (or, rather, not in two) lengthwise. When I told him he would be ten or fourteen the next time there was an inauguration, I saw Lights Come On! Walking and talking aren't everything.

SandraDodd.com/wonder.html
photo by Lydia Koltai

Nothing you "have to" hate

Try not to hate anything more than you "have to," and once you get to thinking more positively, you might find there's is nothing you have to hate.

SandraDodd.com/negativity
SandraDodd.com/haveto
photo by Lydia Koltai

Surprises and discoveries

Rather than tell a child in advance what's about to be seen, it can be wonderful to let them feel they've discovered something on their own. A surprise can be so stimulating that the memories will be more vivid. And the discovery becomes a personal accomplishment.

If the parent is surprised too, that's a bonus, but if you can allow for someone else to be surprised, it can be a kindness and a gift.

SandraDodd.com/surprise/
photo by Lydia Koltai

Adding beauty

Adding beauty where it was not required is the heart of artistry.

Perhaps art is never "required."
Maybe art is always a choice.

Discovering or creating beauty
photo by Lydia Koltai