Generalizing in a good way!

In a long and heated discussion, Joyce Fetteroll wrote:

The discussion really isn't about TV. It's about the freedom to explore in a rich supportive environment in ways that *children* find meaningful. It means being their partners in helping them get what they want. It means offering options that appeal *to them*.

—Joyce Fetteroll

Logic and Parenting
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp

Options, doors, choices

Robyn Coburn wrote:

The idea of Unschooling is for parents to be the facilitators of options, the openers of doors, the creators of environments of freedom, and the guardians of choice, not the installers of roadblocks and barriers. Unschoolers are making the huge and wonderful choice to renounce our legal entitlements to be the authoritarian controllers of our children's lives, and instead choose to be their partners.

—Robyn Coburn

SandraDodd.com/option
photo by Sandra Dodd
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The cool thing is...

The cool thing about partners is, if they win you win.

Partnerships and Teams in the Family
photo by Tessa Onderwater
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Listening and safety

"When kids know their parents are on their sides, when parents help them find safe ways to do what they want to do, then kids do listen when we help them be safe."

—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/partners/child
photo by Sandra Dodd

Be your child's partner

Be your child's partner, not his adversary.

No child or spouse needs to go through life unsupported, because he has a partner! Maybe more than one. If a child can depend on a parent (maybe two, and maybe a sibling or friend) to help him navigate the world, he won't feel helpless or lonely.



SandraDodd.com/partners/child
Holly photo

Learning, peace and kindness

Learning, peace and kindness make marriages better.

(and friendships, and partnerships with children)

SandraDodd.com/partners/
photo by Karen James, of a painting by Karen James

Choices

Choices and preferences, self-expression, style, costume elements...

Hair, clothes, hats, scarves, a favorite umbrella...

Pens, paint, paper, scissors and glue...

Parents being partners can involve helping kids obtain special items, space to store things, and places to show them off.

Softer and safer
photo by Sandra Dodd

Glow

Fireworks, candles and seasonal decorations create glowing moments marking the passing of time. None of them will last, but your memories might.

Help your children glow. See the light in them. Time is passing. Childhood won't last, but your memories might.

SandraDodd.com/partners/child
photo by Jo Isaac
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Look more closely

Sometimes the world is a busy, confusing place. With sounds, sights, smells and distracting thoughts, sometimes it's hard to choose one thing to focus on.


In the midst of years' of wiring and amendments (skylight diffused by poles and fencing) and current decorations (paper balloon, beer flags), hidden by fluff and color, is a bit of traditional architectural strength, in the way two vigas (the large crossbeams) are joined over a post and corbel (that wooden platform on top of the vertical post).


Some details of the world around you are more important than others to the strength of the structure of your life—relationships, needs of children and partners, safety, warmth.

In small ways and large, look for important details while enjoying the colorful swirl of the world around you.

Inside their own heads

"Unschooling doesn't magically save kids from making bad decisions or protect them from harm. Nothing can do that. What unschooling parents can do is step back from the idea that our greater knowledge about the world is something we can give to our kids. We can be friends, allies, facilitators, consultants, partners, but they're the ones inside their own heads, making their own connections." —Meredith Novak *

SandraDodd.com/nest
(the quote isn't there, but other things are)
photo by Sandra Dodd