photo by Cátia Maciel
Saturday, April 20, 2024
Seeing the magic and the joy
photo by Cátia Maciel
Wednesday, April 3, 2024
Joy. That's it.
People who resist or reject joy will be rejecting the best tool they could have used to unschool well, to have longterm relationships with others, and to age gracefully.
Joy.
That's it.
photo by Cass Kotrba
Saturday, March 30, 2024
Replacing a canvas
Ok, I think I'll share my newly-thought-of philosophy of housework here. It started when my sister was over and chasing the kids around. I was straightening up the livingroom and had just finished piling up blocks (big cardboard ones; we have, in all, ten or eleven different kinds of wood, plastic and cardboard blocks. I feel so wealthy. 🙂) when my son (2) ran into the room, saw the blocks and immediately tore down the pile. I smiled and shook my head. My sister, who'd arrived in time to see this, sternly said, "Harry! Your mother just finished putting those away!" When she said that I felt offended. Didn't she know I only pile those blocks so that Harry can knock them down? And there was the Aha! I looked around the room at the clean living room and realized that was why I did any cleaning.
We don't clean up messes to have a clean house. We clean up messes so there is room for more mess!
Now I think of cleaning up after my kids as replacing a canvas. I do it with the thought that by giving them room again and a bare floor and organized toys to pick from, I'm handing them the tools to write another mess onto our house. It's meant that at the end of a day, or sometimes a few days in a row, I just let the mess stay, because really, it's a work of art or a story. Maybe it isn't finished. Maybe it's too interesting to be gotten rid of so soon. It also clears up my feelings of resentment about doing the bulk of it. I like being the one to reset the house so that we all can live another, different mess the next day.
Anyway, thought I'd share since it's really helped me bring more joy into the housework!
photo by Sarah S.
Thursday, March 14, 2024
Still on your path
Lots of the photos I have these days are of paths. I love them. They're taken by people who were there, about to walk that very path, seeing things to the sides, hearing birds, or the wind, or other people. But we only see one view of one path.
The symbolism and the idea of a person being on his own path can be confusing and restricting, if others are trying to manage who walks where, and how. Path, trail, course, curriculum—they all can be about a pre-determined, inflexible way to go.
We only see our own paths by looking backwards. Find joy, today, in options and twisty turns. You're still on your path.
photo by Amy Milstein
Friday, February 9, 2024
Being merry and light
If the parent of unschooled children wants to do that, I think the energy and emotion could be better and more positively spent being merry and light with children who are not in school.
No one can have everything. You can't store up and identify with cynicism, pessimism and self-righteous ire and still pour out joy and happiness to your family.
photo by Nicole Kenyon
Wednesday, December 20, 2023
Hearts renewed
Abundant joy, a special toy, warmth and firelight, carols at twilight; Memories of old, children to hold, comforting food, and hearts renewed. |
art by Kirby Dodd, in 1994,
with printing and finish work by relatives and friends
Warm, glowing traditions
Saturday, December 2, 2023
Kindness, generosity and joy
Kindness and generosity and joy are important to me. So if I look at my daughter and she seems dissatisfied or bored, I want to do something to help—I want to spread some kindness and joy. So I'll look for ways to do that. Will it help to visit more friends? Go someplace with animals (my daughter loves animals)? Is she happy with her current animation program or is she ready for something more complex? Has she finished her latest graphic novel? Does she need new shoes? Do I need to spend more time hanging out with her? Play a game, maybe (video or board game)? Go on an adventure together? Write together? I suggest things based on what I know about her—what sorts of things make her smile, light her up with enthusiasm, or pique her curiosity.
When I focus on those sorts of goals, learning takes care of itself. That's something that can be hard to see right away, especially if you have some schoolish expectations as to how learning happens. Read more about natural learning so you can build up some confidence.
photo by Julie D
Sunday, October 15, 2023
Happy and safe
Some of the same relatives and friends who were greatly in favor of my partnership with Keith seemed critical of our kindness to our children. There is a wide stripe of anti-child tradition in the world. I didn't treat my child as a real person. I acknowledged from the beginning that he WAS a real person. I recognized and nurtured his wholeness and tried not to screw him up. I became his partner, rather than acting like his partner or "treating him" as a partner. It's not just semantics, though it is semantics. It's about the power of words to show, affect and clarify thought and belief.
An idea, expressed in words, changed my life. "Be your child's partner, not his adversary."
photo by Julie D
Friday, October 13, 2023
A living example
Nurture your own curiosity and joy.
Find gratitude and abundance in your life.
Explore. Make connections, on your own.
Share those with your children when they're interesting.
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Friday, October 6, 2023
Happy connectedness
It is clear to me now that happiness—or the lack of it—is a deliberate practice—a cumulative impact from dozens of daily choices over days, weeks, months and years. I didn't mean to become unhappy, so disconnected from my deeper wants and needs. I just believed the many, many voices in my head about how I "should" behave until I couldn't hear my most authentic self anymore.
Seeking joy is my mantra now and joy for all human beings includes feeling deeply connected to other humans and feeling creative and self-actualized, so plenty of so-called work for others gets done, but in a spirit of happy connectedness, instead of burdensome obligation.
SandraDodd.com/joy2
photo by Julie D
Sunday, October 1, 2023
Be gentle
Marta saved that quote and shared it in 2011. I don't know where it came from.
photo by Gail Higgins
Monday, September 18, 2023
Embracing what is
I am finding that it is when I can most fully let go of what 'should be' and most fully embrace 'what is' that I glimpse the joy and connection which is the heart of unschooling. It isn't easy, I don't always manage it and it is taking lots of practice, but I think I'm slowly getting there.
I guess it is the heart of why unschooling seems to me like a spiritual practice—the same one to be found in all the mystical traditions of the world, that of being in the moment, embracing what is and experiencing the fullness of that.
photo by Cátia Maciel
Monday, August 28, 2023
Choosing joy
I saw choosing joy was SO much better....really...unschooling and life just flowed....the relationships piece of an unschooling lifestyle was so much more full and sweet. My mind was calmer. It helped me deal better with those niggling fears that popped up about unschooling when I chose to be in THIS MOMENT....seeing the joy and the fun of the moment settled me instead of me stewing for days about if my kids were learning or what about this, or that.
photo by Sarah S.
Wednesday, August 23, 2023
More or less
I've been thinking about that saying "All things in moderation." Next time someone says it to me, I think I might just ask them: "Do you mean we should have joy in moderation? Should we have peace in moderation? Kindness in moderation? Patience in moderation? Forgiveness? Compassion? Humility?"
Honestly, I used to think it sounded like a very wise and balanced philosophy. Now, the more I think about it the less sense it makes.
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Wednesday, August 2, 2023
My heart leaps
Even though my mind believes in my childrens' abilities, my heart sometimes need some validation. And every time one of my children does something for the first time, completely of their own volition, my heart leaps and then pumps joy to every cell in my body. Each time this happens the truth: that children will learn all they need to, in their own time—becomes etched a little deeper in my bones. And this is where the magic lies—not so much in the "firstness" of each new skill or idea, but in the fact that they completely own these moments."
photo by Holly Dodd
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Thursday, July 6, 2023
Options over rules
So here I have kids who can sleep as long as they want, who set their alarms and get up; who have all kinds of clothes and no rules, who dress well and appropriately to the situation; who don't have to come home but they DO come home.
Something important is happening.
photo by Karen James
Wednesday, June 28, 2023
One step away
SandraDodd.com/struggle
What's better?
Breathing.Links to all those things are at SandraDodd.com/struggle
Clarity.
Peace.
Positivity.
Thoughts about doing better.
Gratitude and Abundance would help, too.
One way to look things up on my site is to append something you think is in there, to SandraDodd.com/
SandraDodd.com/foodIf it doesn't take you directly to your chosen topic, you'll get to a search box.
SandraDodd.com/joy
SandraDodd.com/gratitude
SandraDodd.com/abundance
(like that)
photo by Cátia Maciel
Saturday, June 17, 2023
Confidence deepens
"Be present. Be engaged. Celebrate the joy of a child doing anything and everything they feel thrilled about. Notice what they're learning as they play and watch. It's all pretty amazing. Build on what you learn about your child. Confidence deepens when a child is supported in whatever they find captivating. Confidence grows for the parent when they're paying attention to what the child is learning from their chosen activities."
photo by Janine Davies
Friday, May 12, 2023
Peace and sharing
When things are, sometimes crowded and frustrating, remember not to yell "I told you to share!" (That last part is a joke, but it might help to imagine a smiley-face safety cone near what could be a danger.)
photo by Roya Dedeaux
Thursday, March 23, 2023
Good things swirl
Debbie Regan wrote:
Children prosper when parents are able to provide enough sense of safety, calmness and support, that feelings of peace and joy are close at hand. From there the business of childhood—exploring and learning about the world can progress unimpeded by stress. Stress is a distraction from the natural flow of curiosity, focus, joy, excitement, engagement, creativity, emotional awareness, learning...
The more peace and mindfulness I bring in my home, the more all those good things swirl around.
Becoming the Parent You Want to Be
photo by Julie D