Having a good life

Some days, some moments I am overwhelmed by just how fantastic my life is and how supportive my husband is. David is absolutely wonderful.

...we simply loved each other as we do most days. And we gave to Simon and Linnaea and we gave to each other and it was good.

I love that my sacred and my profane, my everyday and my for special occasions is one and the same. I hope all of y'all are having a good life. I hope the small things that infuse your day with joy come together and weave a tapestry of rich and royal hue.

—Schuyler Waynforth

halfway down SandraDodd.com/spouses
(I left out the stories and shared the mushy parts.)
photo by Gail Higgins

Be gentle

"Gentle. Gentle with infants. Gentle with toddlers. Gentle with little girls. Gentle with little boys. Gentle with stinky 12 year old boys. Gentle with pubescent girls. Gentle with teenagers. Gentle with young adults. Gentle with oneself, and one's spouse or partner or friends and relatives. But strong. And sure. Passionate, but not a bully. And the possible results of all that (...): Joy, improved relationships, trust and confidence, not just for the mom, but for each member of the family and for the family as a whole."

—Sandra Dodd

Marta saved that quote and shared it in 2011. I don't know where it came from.

Babies
photo by Gail Higgins

Change is coming

Things are going to change. You are going to change, too.

Keep your balance!

Knowing in advance that winter is coming, or summer—it still kinda surprises me.

Be prepared to be accepting.

Thoughts on Changing
photo by Gail Higgins
__

Traditional wisdom

"No matter how long the winter, Spring is sure to follow."

—English Proverb

Hope and Joy
photo by Gail Higgins, from whom I also lifted the quoted proverb

Open to the moment

Sometimes it's hard to know whether to look at the flower or at the leaves or at what might be in the darkness behind, or up at the sky, or to turn around and ignore the flower completely. There might be a bird in a nearby tree, or an interesting sound coming from a window.

Plans change. It can be good, upon occasion, to just listen and look and explore. Sometimes it's fine to just see a flower and not say a word about it.

We could call those moments restless confusion and indecision, or we could consider ourselves being open to the moment, in a state of wonder and curiosity.

Keep a positive light on what's outside you and within you, and your world will be a better place.

Being present in the moment
(Text is repeated from 11/19/10, but other details changed.)
Photo by Gail Higgins
__

Gratitude and joy

If you don't feel you will be happy, then you won't be. The largest part of happiness has to do with gratitude and joy. Either of those can be snuffed out by the recitation of ills.

Discussion of the Gratitude page from The Big Book of Unschooling
photo by Gail Higgins
__

Philosophical and spiritual

Unschooling can make life better. Really, fully unschooling becomes more philosophical and spiritual than people expect it to.

SandraDodd.com/positivity
photo by Gail Higgins
__

Greater clarity

Karen James wrote:


If we don't move away from the extremes—those slightly blurry edges—we won't get to appreciate the crisp details of whatever it is we do hope to see and understand better.

That's true for most things, I believe.

Learn to recognize your own extreme thinking. See the nevers and the alwayses. 😊 Then, move around a bit, in search of greater clarity. That shift in thinking will help most relationships, I'm confident.

—Karen James

SandraDodd.com/balance
photo by Gail Higgins

Taking a fresh look

Christina D. wrote:

I'm learning about unschooling and, as a surprise, now watching how it is working its way into so many other areas of my life. It is really causing me to take a "fresh look" at EVERYTHING! Sometimes, I am a bit overwhelmed at all the conditioning that I didn't realize I had, but I'm so grateful for the personal thoughts and stories shared through this list and on the websites. You are all opening my eyes (and heart).

—Christina D.
Always Learning, 2012

SandraDodd.com/recovery
photo by Gail Higgins
__

Bridges

Yesterday's post had a word left out. It was missing a "not" in "In the 1970s, I was told that it's a sign of intelligence, if a person can creatively use an object well for something it was not designed for."

That makes a difference. Sorry.

I need a break and will be back May 1, but will leave things for you to look at during that time. Today, from former blog posts, bridges—usually in the image, but a time or three in the text.

photo by Gail Higgins

I think I'm positive!

"I think it's been the changes in my parenting that have really made our unschooling lifestyle so positive."

—Gail Higgins

SandraDodd.com/life
photo by Sandra Dodd

Joy and connection

I felt very limited when I needed me time. I was needy and restentful when I didn't get it. I'm glad I don't feel I need it nightly anymore. I'm glad I have been able to find the joy in being around Austin even after the sun goes down and find times for myself throughout the day if needed. I'm glad that I can find connection with my husband even when Austin is still awake. It feels so free! I wish I could help everyone feel this free!

—Heather Booth, 2011

SandraDodd.com/metime
photo by Gail Higgins
__

Be kind to your children

You have helped me be more kind to my children. The best thing anyone could have done for them and me. Thank you!

—Anonymous
(I didn't save the name.)

Feedback, Just Add Light and Stir
photo by Gail Higgins

More valuable and less expensive

Becoming the sort of person you hope your child will be, or that your child will respect, is more valuable than years of therapy. And it’s cheaper.

SandraDodd.com/becoming

(source of quote)
photo by Gail Higgins
___

Selflessly and sweetly

With a child, being his partner and not his adversary means that situations are not going to involve one of you winning at the other's expense. There doesn't need to be a winner and a loser, when a choice is made. Try to see that in your marriage and in your family. Make decisions that benefit your family, your home, and your children. Do that selflessly and sweetly, and your own life will be sweeter.

Gradually easier
photo by Gail Higgins

Quitters sometimes win!

Schuyler Waynforth wrote:

Maybe you can see how quitting what you don't want to do is a good thing.

I've quit lots of things, jobs, relationships, books, drugs, cigarettes, lots of things that weren't helpful, that weren't good for my life. Quitting them made room for other things. It also helped me to think about what I wanted to do. Some of the things I quit I went back to like photography or knitting, I quit knitting regularly. Others I've not yet returned to like smoking or working at a plastics factory.

—Schuyler Waynforth

Thoughts about finishing what you start
photo by Gail Higgins
__

Peace, joy and learning

It’s not so simple and straightforward as any one educational or parenting or political theory would like people to believe. But still, no matter what else the parents believe or deny, the tone and mood they set make a difference, for good or ill. . . . .
It will come back to peace, joy, learning, and parenting as directly and as sweetly as possible.

Natural patterns
The quotes are lifted out of context from SandraDodd.com/nature.
photo by Gail Higgins, in the southeastern U.S.
__

Light up the world

I try not to use similar photos too near to one another, but look at these, by four different moms, who saw the sun, made an image, and shared it with Just Add Light readers. For this beauty and generosity, I'm grateful.

Light can come from you, today, in small ways. If you are gentle and patient when you help a child, that creates peace and comfort. If you smile at a stranger, give someone a seat, or hold a door, you have transformed a moment. The light you add to their day can warm your own soul, too.

Kindness lights up the world.

photo by Lisa J Haugen photo by Gail Higgins photo by Karen James photo by Ester Siroky

SandraDodd.com/inspiration

Enthusiasm for happenstance

A researcher wrote:

Sandra's theory of "strewing" highlights the role of the parent, both in the support they provide children and how they reproduce enthusiasm for happenstance.

I really like the buildup to "happenstance," and the use of that word, but as picky as I am, I want to clarify that we didn't "reproduce enthusiasm." We HAD enthusiasm.


Vanessa Bertozzi, from her MIT Master's thesis on unschoolers and media,
2009, page 80

SandraDodd.com/strewing describes strewing better.
photo by Gail Higgins

Too busy or too quiet?

No human in all the history of the world has, or could have guessed right every time, about what to say, how much to say, how quickly, in what tone.

Most humans can get a bit better at it, as time goes on.

Gaze without speaking and/or explore connections
photo by Gail Higgins