Living where the future unfolds

Brie Jontry, to someone pining for the paleolitic good old days:

Over the past ten years or so there appears to be a resurgence of romanticizing "primitive" cultures, especially in regards to parenting and diet. While one of my favorite things in the world is to sit in front of a campfire and stare at the flames feeling a connection to the people who've come before me and found the same warmth and entertainment in the dancing flames, I think that cherry picking other cultures for their feel-good bits is not only blatantly ethnocentric but also detrimental to unschooling in the modern world.

Brie's writing continues, here: SandraDodd.com/reality/
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Courtesy and common sense

Don't bring your hot dog to the vegan friend's house. Don't bring stinky food to places where others can't get away. Don't bring great-smelling food to a hospital room where someone is on a restricted diet, or on an IV with no food allowed.
. . . . "It depends" is a good first answer when someone asks whether something is or is not okay. There is no "rule" that says unschoolers can eat anything they want any time. But there should not be arbitrary restrictions, just really logical, sensible ones involving courtesy and common sense.

SandraDodd.com/foodrules
photo by Sandra Dodd

Being calm about food

What has been "medically correct" about diet has changed over and over and over just within my lifetime—every part of a hamburger has been glorified and villified in turn. Every part of a pizza has been the best and worst part, at some point in the past 50 years. Skim milk/whole milk, margarine, artificial sweeteners, eggs, iceberg lettuce, honey, cheese, water (amounts), salt, wine, bread—terror or wonder.

SandraDodd.com/eating/defense.html

Angels and devils
photo by Amy Milstein

Foggy confusion

I've always been uncomfortable with the idea of "self-regulation." Regulation has to do with rules—creating and enforcing rules. I like the idea that children will find a balance. And it has helped me in moving from kneejerk what-would-my-mom-do (when my kids were babies I worked consciously to make decisions a better way) to try to avoid using phrases of children that I wouldn't use of adults. I don't say my husband self-regulates his leisure time, or that my friend self-regulates her diet or that my sister self-regulates her housekeeping.

People will come [to a discussion] and say "I've given him freedom, when will he self-regulate?" and I think (though I've never asked) they mean "When will he somehow do what I would have made him do if I were making him do things?" Some newer unschoolers are similarly waiting for their kids to ask to learn biology, or to wake up one morning eager to write a book report.

SandraDodd.com/self-regulation
photo by Karen James

Courtesy and common sense

Don't bring your hot dog to the vegan friend's house. Don't bring stinky food to places where others can't get away. Don't bring great-smelling food to a hospital room where someone is on a restricted diet, or on an IV with no food allowed.
. . . . "It depends" is a good first answer when someone asks whether something is or is not okay. There is no "rule" that says unschoolers can eat anything they want any time. But there should not be arbitrary restrictions, just really logical, sensible ones involving courtesy and common sense.

SandraDodd.com/foodrules
photo by Sandra Dodd

Looking at whole lives

People live all over the world, and each life is different. Some people have horses, while others don't. Some can see the ocean every day; some never will. Some know all about snow, and others can't really imagine it.

We don't know in advance how lives will flow and grow, even while we're living in that flow.

Looking too closely for too long can bring frustration. "We had a meal today without vegetables, Oh NO!" or "This toddler didn't nap, and so Oh NO!" Look back at those in a week or a year, or in thirty years, and the diet will have averaged out, and the toddler will have slept.

Looking at details is good, but once in a while, take a long view of the lives of your grandparents, neighbors, friends, even maybe fictional characters. Sometimes the details dissolve into history, or are fleeting, or can be smiled away.

Find peace and hope in everyday ways.

Perspective
photo by Cathy Koetsier