No food fights

“Child-led weaning” and all the food awareness that went with that did a world of good for us, too. We never had fights over food with our children. They wanted to try what grownups were eating, and they were never pressed to eat anything they didn’t like the look or smell or taste of. They were free to spit it in my hand if they wanted to. I’m sure the common La Leche League phrase “child-led weaning” resulted in the phrase “child-led learning” which many apply to unschooling, but after nearly 20 years of unschooling, I think “child-led learning” is a detrimental concept that keeps parents from creating and maintaining busy, rich lives with lots of choices.

About attachment parenting, in this interview from 2009
monkey platter by Robyn Coburn

Investigation and exploration

Pam Sorooshian wrote:

I do not refer to unschooling as “child-led learning” and I encourage others not to use that term because I think overuse of it has led to some pretty serious misunderstanding of what unschooling is really like.

The term, “child-led learning,” does emphasize something very important — that the child is the learner! I couldn’t agree more. However, it also disregards the significant role played by the parent in helping and supporting and, yes, quite often taking the lead, in the investigation and exploration of the world that is unschooling.

—Pam Sorooshian

(Read the rest at the link below.)

Unschooling is not “Child-Led Learning”
photo by Karen James

Living harmoniously

Some parents label unschooling as "child-led learning," and so they think they're going from "parent led" life to "child led" life, but the balance point is that the family learns to live together harmoniously.

Harmony makes many things easier. When there is disharmony, everyone is affected. When there is harmony, everyone is affected too. So if it is six of one or half a dozen of the other (right between none and a full dozen), go with harmony instead!

SandraDodd.com/balance
photo by Sandra Dodd

The balance point

Some parents label unschooling as "child-led learning," and so they think they're going from "parent led" life to "child led" life, but the balance point is that the family learns to live together harmoniously.

Harmony makes many things easier. When there is disharmony, everyone is affected. When there is harmony, everyone is affected, too.

SandraDodd.com/balance
photo by Renee Cabatic
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Who's in charge?

When someone reported having told her child that there was no boss in their house, I wrote:

Honestly, there should be a boss. A kind boss, but someone with the last word, in a situation. Being a child's partner is better than saying "we're all equal and nobody knows or says more than another." The land lord, the city, social services... none of them will want to hear that you felt your child was as much responsible for things as you were.

SandraDodd.com/child-led
photo by Karen James
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Active participants

"Unschooling is not child-led or child-directed learning — that makes it sound like the parent should just be a 'follower.' Not so — parents are active participants and part of the job of an unschooling parent is to keep the child in mind and to fill his/her life with just the right amount of interesting new experience, chances to repeat experiences, down time, and so on."

—Pam Sorooshian

SandraDodd.com/nest—Building an Unschooling Nest
photo by Nina Haley
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Live in the learning

"Child-led, 'wait til they ask'" isn't the way radical unschooling works. It's a way for unschooling to fail, if the parents are twiddling their thumbs waiting for the child to lead, or ask to learn something.

SandraDodd.com/unschool/marginal
photo by Karen James, of stained glass by Ethan James

Live a Learning Life

"Child-led, 'wait til they ask'" isn't the way radical unschooling works. It's a way for unschooling to fail, if the parents are twiddling their thumbs waiting for the child to lead, or ask to learn something.

SandraDodd.com/unschool/marginal
photo by Karen James, of stained glass by Ethan James

Succesful and happy

"In my mind, partnering with kids isn't about having them be In Charge—and it isn't about having parents be In Charge—it's working together, with the more experienced partner (the parent) taking the initiative to help days (and nights!) be successful and happy."

—Colleen Prieto

Child-led? Problem...

Who's in Charge?
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Flowing and rich

Is it "child-led learning"?

This definition is probably the most common quick description, and one of the most harmful to the success of unschooling. It suggests that parents wait for children to decide what to learn. We have learning all the time; no waiting. Neither parents nor children need to "lead" learning, if the environment is flowing and rich.

SandraDodd.com/unschool/definition
photo by Sandra Dodd