Brave, happy Barbie

"Parents are afraid of a plastic doll that is not real, and kids know it—but what really damages a child's self esteem and body image is a parent comparing, critiquing, complaining and dissing their own body (or someone else's body)."

—Alex Polikowsky

SandraDodd.com/barbie
photo by Robyn and Jayne Coburn

Barbie World

These Barbies belong to a girl named Ericka, who generously let me use her bedroom recently. I bring them to join my collection.

Some of Jayn's (from a few years back) and of Holly's (similarly historical now).

SandraDodd.com/barbie
photo by Sandra Dodd

Elvis, Barbie and Rebellion

I started to name this post "Elvis," but up popped "Elvis, Barbie and Rebellion." When I went to search my other blogs to see why that was happening, I found "Elvis, Battle of New Orleans, Pinky and the Brain, Cavemen."

Those two sets of words, separated from their origins, are more interesting than what I had originally intended to write about Elvis. I invite you ponder for a moment what I might have been thinking.

If you get tired of that, you are welcome to explore the first one and the other one, at your leisure.
photo by Holly Dodd herself

Something worth listening to

Robyn Coburn shared this story in 2006. That was fourteen years ago. Jayn turned 21 this week.

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Recently I annoyed someone (stranger at a kid's birthday party) whose first question on hearing that we homeschool was "How do you get her to listen to you?" by instantly replying "I try to say something worth listening to."

I thought she meant listen in general. She got this look of utter irritation on her face and started on about what a discipline problem her 7yo son was and how much more difficult it would be to have to keep his attention on school subjects and make him work at home. What she was really asking was "How do you make your daughter do her work?"

The paradigms we live under are so broadly apart from the mainstream that even the language doesn't cross over—we use the same words and have different meanings.

Yet of all the children at the birthday party Jayn was the one who came up to me a couple of times just to give me a quick kiss and say what fun she was having.



You can read more by Robyn here: Robyn Coburn
and see some of the Barbie tableaux that Jayn was making in the days mentioned at Barbie in Romeo and Juliet

photo by Jayn Coburn, years ago

Connecting and learning

Kelly Schultz, at the end of a longer account of learning from Barbie

Everywhere we go, we meet women who have loved their Barbies, young babysitting-age girls, grandmas with collector editions, women at the toy store commenting how they still love to get their Barbies out. Barbie-lovers are everywhere! Who knows when this shared interest will help them connect with someone down the road?

Who would have imagined - design, construction, dramatic narrative, social skills, a little bit of history mixed in - it's really a wonderful learning experience!

—Kelly Shultz

SandraDodd.com/barbielearning
photo by Karen James
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Learning

How will they learn to learn?

By learning.

SandraDodd.com/faq
photo by Sandra Dodd
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More than "not school"

There are aspects of learning and living that people forget about when they claim that a school can provide what unschooling provides.

SandraDodd.com/school/alternative
photo and "Barbie art" by Holly Dodd
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Confidence and a smile

No matter who is asking, I answer with confidence and matter of factness. I'm friendly and disarming. I smile. If there is a lull in the conversation, I smoothly transition into asking something about their child. Maybe something like - 'How is Susie doing? I saw that she has a brand new pink bicycle with a Barbie bell. She must love that'.

The way I've dealt with people's questions has improved with time and practice.

—Rippy Dusseldorp

Responding to questions about unschooling
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Toys

"Fill your house with peace, toys, interesting things, good food, and love."

—Colleen Prieto

SandraDodd.com/colleenprieto
photo by Sandra Dodd, of Holly's scene
(more about Barbie and unschoolers)

Escape, Relaxation, Stories

Escapism isn't a bad thing.

Relaxation is a great thing.

Taking in stories and ideas is a healthy human thing that's been happening since cavemen sat around fires (or since Adam and Eve started comparing notes about what they might've seen or eaten that day, if you prefer that).


When I came to see whether the quote above had been used,
I searched for "cavemen" and found
Elvis, Barbie and Rebellion.
The quote above is from "Safe on the Couch"
photo by Jo Isaac

Gifts

For many families, this can be a time of stress and love and joy and exhaustion and fear of failure, concerning procurement and presentation of food or presents.

Remember intangible gifts. Remember to be kind and quiet and sweet, around and through the sound and swirl. Be grateful and express your gratitude to others, for help, for health, for being, for smiles, and for love. Touch and speak gently.

I'm grateful that I can leave my sewing supplies out, because we have no babies or toddlers in our home these days who could be wounded by pins or scissors. That might seem too small a joy, but for many years I couldn't start sewing projects I couldn't finish before babies awoke.

But maybe you need "a real gift" and you're out of ideas. Here's something I wrote a dozen years ago, when my children were... a dozen years younger (12, 9 and 7):

"Some people are just not cut out to cruise the Barbie aisles. Luckily there are alternatives and you were probably going there anyway. There are fine educational toys to be found at the hardware store, sporting goods store, auto parts store, and even grocery stores, but people usually go there with a mission and forget to browse."

There is more at: SandraDodd.com/gifts
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Parents can learn from children

Ren wrote:

As a child I was taught that fashion and all it entails was "wordly" and that Barbie stuff promoted low self esteem. Baloney! What promoted low self esteem was being told my interests weren't worthy.

—Ren Allen

SandraDodd.com/renallen
photo by Jayn Coburn