Inventory your tools

Inventory your own tools. What do you already know that can make you a more peaceful parent? What tricks and skills can you bring into your relationships with members of your family?
. . . .

As you move toward peace, remember you can't have all of anything in one move. Each thought or action can move you nearer, though (or further).
SandraDodd.com/peace/noisy
photo by Sandra Dodd, through glass
("It's the thought that counts.")
__

Shelter

"Shelter doesn’t only mean a roof; it means a safe place of peace and healthfulness." —Deb Lewis

SandraDodd.com/peace/noisy
photo by Sandra Dodd
__ __

More time

The best thing that ever happened to me was that being a present, attentive, happy mother became one of my passions. When moms start sorting their "own time" from their children's time, their time as a mother from their time as a person, then they're going to be unhappy, or their children will be unhappy. If a mom can become a partner to her children, they are less needy and she will have more time. It seems crazy, but it works. 🙂

SandraDodd.com/peace/noisy
photo by Sandra Dodd
__

Fears

New unschoolers are often afraid. They're afraid to keep doing what they're doing; they're afraid to change. Sometimes to calm someone I have said "It's not like moving to Mars. You will still live in the same house. You'll still be sitting in that same chair."

Something that allayed my fears when I had babies still works years later. When I'm fearful or worried, it helps to smell the top of my child's head. If you find a natural opportunity to hold or hug or bend over your child, inhale the scent of his head, slowly. Don't worry if it's an unbathed eleven year old. Just do it with love and gratitude, and you might find yourself in that moment, touching your child gently, remembering who you are and where you are.



I don't have a page on fears. This one mentions the benefit of smelling a child's head, though: SandraDodd.com/peace/noisy

---

2020 update:
Ten years have passed since I said I didn't have a page on fears. There are four, now, and all created to help people step past and rise above their fears.
Overcoming Fear / SandraDodd.com/fear will lead to the others.

On the plate

Fear and food should not be served on the same plate.



Holly Dodd, from a talk for the Florida Unschooling Conference
SandraDodd.com/peace/noisy
(without that quote)

photo by Sandra Dodd

A good mom

Nothing has ever made me feel better about me
than the feeling that I was being a good mom.



SandraDodd.com/peace/noisy.html
photo by Sandra Dodd

Be aware

BE AWARE of who this child is and of your potential to help or to harm.

SandraDodd.com/peace/noisy
photo by Sarah Dickinson

Safe and comfortable

Jenny Cyphers wrote:

In my own experience, I am the protector of my child. From the day each child was born, I took on the responsibility to ensure that my children were safe and comfortable and loved and supported. That didn't stop when we disagreed. It didn't stop when the stakes were high. It didn't stop just because it was a difficult part of life"

—Jenny Cyphers

SandraDodd.com/peace/noisy
photo by Amber Ivey
__

Memories and peace

Sometimes a peaceful time is still confusing and noisy. Experiences and perceptions differ, and your memory might not match your child's about one thing or another. Something one found stressful might be a memory of joy for another. Do your best to find the peace and joy.

Charlie eats an apple
A Loud Peaceful Home
photo by Sarah Dickinson

The giggles

The most rewarding benefits to our unschooling are the ones that are so much more difficult to describe. The soulful gazes, all the giggles, the joy, the "being in the moment," the connections, the love, the peace (very noisy peace), the flow of life (looks chaotic unless you're in it), and soooooooo much more.

—a mom named Rachel

the quote in context: SandraDodd.com/gettingit
photo by Hinano
__