Grabbing hold and changing

"When I stumbled across unschooling I grabbed hold. I read and I tried things and I moved further away from the childhood I had known to the parenthood I wanted to know." —Schuyler Waynforth

SandraDodd.com/nest
photo by Sandra Dodd

Maintain and replenish

If you think you haven't done enough for your children lately, do more. The richer and safer your children's environment,the more interesting and open to input and entertainment and encouragement, the more learning will happen, whether you're at home or in the car or on another continent.

Maintain and replenish your children's learning environment.

SandraDodd.com/nest
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Find ideas you like

Find ideas you like, but remember that all parenting happens at your house, not online, not in groups, but within the parent. Your relationship with your child doesn't need to be approved by strangers. It needs to be the best you can do with your child, yourself, at your house. If you need ideas, the world is overflowing with good ones, and bad ones.

SandraDodd.com/nest
(Thanks to Robin Bentley, for quoting me on May 22, 2013.)
photo by Sandra Dodd

Making things disappear

Unschool as well as you can, and lots of the side questions disappear.

SandraDodd.com/nest
photo by Karen James

Conditions

Conditions change for many reasons. Comfort levels vary.

Even one small improvement can positively affect a moment, a mood, a person, a family.

SandraDodd.com/nest
photo by Karen James
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The expectation of learning

It seems lately that more and more people want to know exactly HOW to unschool, but the answer is not what they expect.

Looking back at these stories, in light of others like them, the best recommendation I can make is to open up to the expectation of learning. It helps if the parent is willing for a conversation to last only fifteen seconds, or to go on for an hour.

Remember that if your “unit study” is the universe, everything will tie in to everything else, so you don’t need to categorize or be methodical to increase your understanding of the world. Each bit is added wherever it sticks, and the more you’ve seen and wondered and discussed, the more places you have inside for new ideas to stick.

A joyful attitude is your best tool. We’ve found that living busy lives with the expectation that everything is educational has made each morning, afternoon and evening prime learning time.

SandraDodd.com/nest
The "lately" in that quote was in 2002.
The photo is Holly's hand, in August 2017.
photo by Sandra Dodd

Safe and peaceful shelter

Shelter your kids from what you know is ugly. Shelter me too, if I'm around.

It's really okay to "cherry pick" in regard to the stories you let into your day. There's enough horror somewhere on the planet at any moment to make us all suicidal, so make it a habit NOT to collect or dwell on those stories. You have a responsibility to create as safe and peaceful a nest as you can for your own family.

Thank you, Heather Booth, for saving that and putting it where I could find it again.
art and photo by Sandra Dodd
(the switchplate near our kitchen sink)

This is a re-run of a post from 2012

Building an unschooling nest

"Building an unschooling nest" is a phrase that has come to mean maintaining a safe, rich, happy environment in which learning cannot help but happen.

What will help to create an environment in which unschooling can flourish? For children to learn from the world around them, the world around them should be merrily available, musically and colorfully accessible, it should feel good and taste good. They should have safety and choices and smiles and laughter.

There is some physicality to the "nest," but much of it is constructed and held together by love, attitudes and relationships. Shared memories and plans, family jokes, songs and stories shared and discussed, all those strengthen the nest.

Quote from The Big Book of Unschooling, page 125 (or 137)
photo by Jennifer Smith
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Kindness and creativity

Pam Sorooshian wrote:

"Homeschoolers think a lot about learning—but they often focus on learning to read, write, do math, or learning science or history, etc.

"Unschoolers tend to take that kind of learning for granted, it happens along the way. Instead, as we get more and more into unschooling, we tend to focus on things like kindness and creativity and honesty—all those character traits that will determine *how* their learning will be used in their lives."

—Pam Sorooshian

SandraDodd.com/nest
photo by Jamie Lee

Quite small

Appreciate small moments, small gestures, small ideas. Small things make up a rich life.

SandraDodd.com/nest
photo by Colleen Prieto

Quiet trust

"Learning flows when needs are met, connections are strong, and kids can absolutely trust their parents, and know their parents are there for them."

—Caren Knox

SandraDodd.com/nest
photo by Cátia Maciel

Smiling and helpful

Children are born learning, and unless and until that joy is extinguished (by school or pressure or shaming or belittlement), it will thrive and grow. Learning is easy when the people around are smiling, encouraging and helpful.

SandraDodd.com/nest
The quote came from a comment I made on a YouTube video.
After I wrote it, I thought I should share it here.
photo by Rippy Dusseldorp

Fear and other hurdles

In an interview, I was asked "What have you found to be the biggest hurdle that new unschoolers face?"

My response was:

Fear, I guess, would be the answer. But different families have different fears, so it’s a hard question. Some are ready to jump away from schooling, so that’s kind of easy.

Sometimes the parents don’t agree, and that’s always a hurdle. I use the analogy of buying a yacht. It’s a big decision, and one parent can’t do it without the other agreeing. I can’t decide to own a yacht and tell my husband to just deal with it. Maybe I *could,* but would end up losing the yacht AND the husband. It’s a theoretical and a maybe, because I couldn’t even buy a car without my husband’s signature, as I don’t have my own income these days.

One secondary hurdle is when a parent feels overconfident, and becomes unwilling to continue to learn. Some unschoolers get on an odd trajectory and won’t accept help, and won’t check back for advice until they’ve made quite a mess. It’s helpful to stay in contact with other unschoolers, both in person if possible, and in writing.

Interview at Feather and Nest, November 2010
photo by Sandra Dodd

Smiles and laughter

For children to learn from the world around them, the world around them should be merrily available, musically and colorfully accessible, it should feel good and taste good. They should have safety and choices and smiles and laughter.

SandraDodd.com/nest
photo by Rodrigo Mattioli
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Warm home

Small moments of peace and calm can add up to contentment. Gratitude and acceptance contribute to satisfaction. Having a warm home isn't an absolute, and it's not magic. It's the accumulation of positive choices that create a nest for humans (and their significant animal others).

SandraDodd.com/nest
photo by Janine

Tools and equipment

If you want to unschool, there's no curriculum to buy and you and your children will be discovering the secret passages and magical destinations without a schedule or a map.

To help you prepare for or strengthen your own heroic adventure, there are three tools you need, and a checklist of seven nest-building items for you to collect and protect.

Equip yourself with: confidence experience good examples Build your nest with food shelter love patience enthusiasm curiosity joy

SandraDodd.com/hsc/littletools
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Being mindful

Try to be a good unschooling parent, a generous freedom-nurturing parent, a parent providing a peaceful nest, a parent wanting to be each child's partner. Try to make your decisions in that light.

SandraDodd.com/mindfulness
The text above paraphrases something I wrote there.
photo by Brigita Usman (click to enlarge)
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Gaining faith

We can't know what children are thinking or learning. Two children "learning together" aren't making the same connections. With experience and practice, parents can gain faith in the processes that make unschooling so effective and wonderful.

Building an Unschooling Nest
photo by Celeste Burke
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Don't hackle or vex

Good policy for the treatment of children, too! Keep all those things in the "bad idea" column, and choose their opposites whenever you can.

SandraDodd.com/nest
photo by Sandra Dodd

Ongoing and fluid

When life is whole, and not divided into school grades, then reflection, assimilation and connection are ongoing and fluid. In the absence of reporting periods, there's no need to evaluate periodically. Gain trust in learning, and then focus on providing a rich, peaceful environment. Become an unschooling parent.

SandraDodd.com/nest
photo by Sarah Dickinson