Natural learning flows

Learning and growth are like a limitless reservoir, but we have factors in our culture that limit our access or control or faith that it could even work, or our feeling of ownership of knowledge of growth and learning. Experts. Timetables and charts. Once a parent knows enough about natural learning to help that learning happen, though, it can flow freely.

hand pumps, siphons, water containers
photo by Sandra Dodd

A distant tree

Come into my thoughts a minute, just a little.

"The tree was framed by this doorway." But the doorway was just sitting there, before the tree first grew. They both are there, all the time, now. What framed the tree was where I was standing when I saw how pretty it looked, and took the photo in such a way that the whole tree showed, and the whole doorway showed. Distance mattered. My height mattered.

Many relationships between things, between places, or people, depend on the perspective or the effect of another person. Surely the perception of two things changes, depending on many factors.

SandraDodd.com/angles
photo by Sandra Dodd, in Avebury

Eliminate half the world (in a good way)

No parent has to do anything. They choose to do things.

So being in that world of choices, where do they decide to stop and why?

There comes the philosophy back.

Through all the innumerable factors, how DO people decide?

By deciding what principles they are following. Each principle one clings to eliminates about half the choices in the world easily, and in a good way. Each additional principle eliminates some more options, until the world becomes manageable.

Sparkly Unschooling
photo by Sandra Dodd
__

It depends

It's hard to explain unschooling, partly because the best answers are "it depends," followed by questions for the parents to consider while they're making their decisions.

It depends on time available, time of day, safety, resources, the effect on other people, need for food or rest, and other factors I can't think of right now. . . . .Getting unschooling is a process. There will be more to get once you're comfortable with the new understandings and behaviors.

SandraDodd.com/depends
photo by Janine Davies
__

Choose the good things

No parent has to do anything. They choose to do things.
. . . .
Through all the innumerable factors, how DO people decide?

By deciding what principles they are following. Each principle one clings to eliminates about half the choices in the world easily, and in a good way. Each additional principle eliminates some more options, until the world becomes manageable.

One of my guiding principles is that I want my children's worlds to be sparkly.

There goes the dull and the darkness. Easily not chosen, not an option.

SandraDodd.com/unschool/sparkly, 2004
photo by Irene Adams
__

Cool and cheery

Help them live without having things to be angry about. Promote peace. Be a cool, cheery cruise director. Arrange for less anger to be around you. What they're angry about—avoid those factors.

from a chat on Spiritual/Existential Intelligence
photo by Meredith Dew

Healthy behaviors

"It's not because unschooled children are superior that they won't exhibit the behaviors that parents fear. It's that their lives lack the factors that cause children to use TV in unhealthy ways."

—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/tv
photo by Brandie Hadfield

Environmental factors

In the quote below, "it" could be replaced with

• home
• life
• your nest
• your children's day
• yourself

Make it happy and funny and comfortable and exciting so that they want to be with you. Be sparkly.

SandraDodd.com/unschool/sparkly
photo by Sandra Dodd
__

Ideas and energy and fun

Joyce Fetterol wrote:

One of the factors that drew me to homeschooling rather than public schooling was that I thought learning should be fun. But only the unschoolers were focusing on fun and having positive relationships with their kids.

Much of the other forums were devoted to how to make kids do their work, what products were best, what to do with younger kids while older ones did their work.

Pam Sorooshian responded:

This got me thinking, Joyce. Because I found unschooling the same way, just looking for homeschooling information and discovered that the message boards where the unschoolers were talking were the ones that got my heart racing because they were so alive and sparkly with ideas and energy and fun and love of their children.

SandraDodd.com/unschool/sparkly
photo by Sandra Dodd

Positive fun

Joyce Fetterol wrote:

One of the factors that drew me to homeschooling rather than public schooling was that I thought learning should be fun. But only the unschoolers were focusing on fun and having positive relationships with their kids.

Much of the other forums were devoted to how to make kids do their work, what products were best, what to do with younger kids while older ones did their work.

Pam Sorooshian responded:

This got me thinking, Joyce. Because I found unschooling the same way, just looking for homeschooling information and discovered that the message boards where the unschoolers were talking were the ones that got my heart racing because they were so alive and sparkly with ideas and energy and fun and love of their children.

SandraDodd.com/unschool/sparkly
photo by Sandra Dodd

Accept temporary changes

Sometimes a familiar place, or thing, or person, is warm and soft and safe. Other times there might be special circumstances, or danger, or extra beauty.

Try to model for your children an acceptance of change, and an appreciation of the days when things are calm and simple. Model being more careful when such factors as humidity, temperature or temperament come into play.

SandraDodd.com/change
photo by Vlad Gurdiga

Secret recipe?

Kelly Lovejoy wrote once, in a lively discussion:

I think (almost) *everyone* would like kind, respectful, generous, polite children. I just think they haven't found the recipe yet.
We have!


I responded:

Yes!!
But when I try to tell them, their next thought is that Marty must be just an exceptional human to whom the regular "truths" don't apply.

So few people have seen a person who's not so scarred by social business-as-usual life that they can't imagine it. We've seen it but others don't believe us.

SandraDodd.com/money
photo by Liam, a houseguest
Footnote to what's above: There are other factors, and not all unschoolers get exceptionally generous children, but when the parents adopt those positive traits and live lovingly, they provide the possibility.

Easily amused, and compassionate

Some people have snow while others have heat waves. Leaves turn red and gold some places while others have year-round greenery.

Some days are full of learning and laughter and others are quieter.

Expect the world to surprise you. Moments, days and years will have different kinds of weather, activity, and learning. The factors are too many to track, so flexibility and the ability to be easily amused or quickly compassionate will serve you well.

SandraDodd.com/skills
photo by me or Holly?
This photo was saved in non-standard fashion; if it's yours, let me know. The image was saved as though it were Holly's or mine, but the lizard is quite green, for here.

Soft and gentle

Be soft and gentle

Helping a child learn to hold a kitten or a puppy isn't always easy, but modeling how to do it gently and softly helps. Parents can remember those factors when touching babies and children, too. Is he comfortable? Is he safe?

Someone who can gently handle a puppy, and a baby, might remember those things when dealing with another adult.


SandraDodd.com/better partner
photo by Rose Sorooshian
__

Warm (not cold)

If every conscious decision is taken with the intention of getting closer to the way one wants to be, then in a "getting warm / getting cold" way, it's not nearly as distant as one might have thought. You never even have to leave your regular house, car, family. It's right where you are, only the thoughts are different.


May you have warm relationships, warm feelings, a warm home, warm food and a warm bed.

The top paragraph is a quote from SandraDodd.com/factors
photo by Sandra Dodd

---

In 2011, this went out in January, during summer in the southern hemisphere. Greetings, readers in Australia and New Zealand! Have some warmth in a better season. I don't think Brazil or South Africa need much heat, and most other readers are equatorial or northerly.

The whole world could use the warm relationships and feelings, and I wish everyone good options!

New combinations

There are random factors in the world around us. This tree was never blown down before. That horse never lay down near a downed tree that way.

Things happen in new combinations, without warning, and we make choices about how to see and respond to those things. I'm glad Cathy took a beautiful photo. It's good that the tree didn't fall on the shed, nor on the horses. It didn't break a fence.

Next year, it will be firewood.

Life will bring more surprises.

Unexpected Juxtaposition
photo by Cathy Koetsier
__

Words and pictures, sent to you!

When I was in first grade I decided I wanted to be a teacher. All through school I paid attention to what teachers did and how, and why (when I could figure that out, which was pretty often). And I asked the other kids what they liked about teachers and what they didn’t. So I learned LOTS and lots about how learning works and what factors work for different kinds of people.

When I was older, 13/14 or so, I wanted to become a missionary (still teaching-related), or to work at a magazine. And it seems all those rolled together are what I’ve become. I write, and I help people have happier more peaceful lives, and it’s all about learning. So in a natural-learning way I’ve been working up to this always.

---

I wrote the above in an online exchange for Mothering Magazine in 2007.

---

Recently, I remembered another writing-related profession I had seriously considered for a short while in my late 20's. I had read that the Hallmark Cards company was hiring writers, in Kansas City. I thought I could do that! I knew nothing about Kansas City, and decided I didn't want to move, but while I thought about applying, writing mushy or funny or inspiring words to go with an image sounded easy and fun.

Then, with this blog already ten years old, when I remembered that, I saw that Just Add Light and Stir is much like a greeting card collection. Some are funny, or mushy, and many are inspiring. Some are seasonal, and some are about babies. This is post #3744. I guess I have inadvertently written some greeting cards.