Showing posts sorted by date for query /deschooling. Sort by relevance Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by date for query /deschooling. Sort by relevance Show all posts

Tuesday, October 5, 2021

Let go; relax

Leah Rose:

Sandra wrote: "They need to STOP battling, STOP fighting, STOP struggling."

This has been such an incredibly powerful, empowering concept for me. It's a total turn around from the way I grew up thinking, from the way we think and speak in Western culture. But I have made the greatest strides in my own deschooling by learning to notice when I feel myself "struggling," and to Stop! Then I can choose to let go, to relax about the disparity between what I want and what is. And what I have discovered is that that conscious mental shift releases the energy I need to step forward mindfully into the moment...and then that moment becomes, itself, a step towards what I want, away from what I don't want.
—Leah Rose
SandraDodd.com/battle
photo by Cathy Koetsier

Saturday, July 31, 2021

Still, think.

child walking on a fallen log
"For a lot of people, thinking too deeply about what they believe is too painful. It's just easier to do what was done to them."
—Deb Lewis


The quote is the end of something longer here: SandraDodd.com/rules
Encouragement to think, detox, recover: Deschooling (newly improved page)
photo by Lydia Koltai

Monday, July 12, 2021

Healing, and wishes

Deschooling, when done thoroughly, leads us through all the stages of our own lives, gradually, as our children get older. As each of my children reached the ages in my life that I had stress as a kid, I had emotions arise, again, but with the third it was milder than with the first.

It's healing, to treat our children in ways we wish we had been treated.

When Parents Have Issues
photo by Jennifer Christensen
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Friday, July 2, 2021

You could be wrong

Part of deschooling is reviewing how we learned what we know, and how legitimate that knowledge is.
FACT
photo by Chelsea Thurman

Tuesday, May 25, 2021

The easy way?

Q: Is unschooling the path of least resistance?

A: It depends what you're trying to resist.

Deschooling for Parents
photo by Sandra Dodd

Thursday, May 13, 2021

Do it; be it

Some unschooling parents talk too much to their children about unschooling.
Just DO it, don't talk it. Be it.
Just Do it. ●  Don't talk it. ●  Be it.

Deschooling
photo by Sarah Dickinson, of a Kitty Letter game in progress

Wednesday, April 14, 2021

Surprising changes

Sometimes deschooling works best when there are surprising (maybe even shocking) surprises, or stark refutations of what the mom has “guaranteed will happen,” or is positive can ONLY happen—that having candy out all the time will make kids throw up, have cavities, get fat. The stories of kids in the presence of the same old bowl of candy asking for vegetables and fruit are important stories to share.
Choices can’t happen without choices, and choices don’t happen well with a mom hovering around and predicting negative outcomes. Lots of people have reported that their experiences with food, and unschooling, changed everything. Seeing kids learning about food, and making choices about food, made other choices seem to make total sense.
from Always Learning, 05/07/19
photos by Ester Siroky (mushroom basket) and Elise Lauterbach (mushroom golf)

Saturday, November 21, 2020

Shine the light

In advice to a fearful mom, Tara Joe Farrel wrote:

Unschooling advice—or deschooling oneself—does not change just because the kids get older: *Get closer to your child.*

Eliminate those degrees of separation that have started to grow fearful roots in you! When that happens, *you* actually start to *create* that divisiveness and separation in your relationship, by listening to your fear over the needs and interests of your kid. Do not let that monster in! Shine the light on the scary cobwebs and dark stuff.

—Tara Joe Farrell
Shining light on it
photo by Karen James
(click to enlarge)

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Monday, July 20, 2020

Good, healthy, nice, different

"Remember that unschooling is not just not taking the kids to school. It is building a good relationship with them, a healthy relationship with them, and creating a nice environment for them, different from school. So that is part of our responsibilities as unschooling parents—to heal ourselves."
—Alicia Gonzalez-Lopez

Deschooling with Alicia Gonzales-Lopez,
interviewed by Pam Laricchia, March 2020 (44:25)
photo by Elise Lauterbach

Tuesday, April 21, 2020

The greatest strides

Leah Rose wrote:I have made the greatest strides in my own deschooling by learning to notice when I feel myself "struggling," and to Stop! Then I can choose to let go, to relax about the disparity between what I want and what is. And what I have discovered is that that conscious mental shift releases the energy I need to step forward mindfully into the moment...and then that moment becomes, itself, a step towards what I want, away from what I don't want.
—Leah Rose


SandraDodd.com/battle
photo by Ester Siroky
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Saturday, February 29, 2020

Shining light on it

Nikki Zavitz, interviewed by Pam Laricchia in early 2020, shared a mental model of unschooling, including deschooling. It's wonderful, and there's a link to hear it, below.
I always had this visual for unschooling for me, I picture it being this big giant house and it’s got like a million rooms in it. And there’s closets and doors everywhere. And for me, I’m walking around this house with this lantern and the lantern is like unschooling for me. And I have to open up doors and shine the lantern and look under the beds and look in the closet and I’m finding all these new, dusty things that have come from my life and have created this uncomfortableness and this kind of scary eerie feeling for me. And the unschooling is the light, like walking through shining light on it, considering it, asking questions, and eventually more lights are on, and the closets aren’t as dusty anymore, and the rooms are more open and free to go in and out of.

I kind of see that—I've always pictured my unschooling journey like that—and then everybody’s house is different. Everyone has a different unschooling house, and I just love that visual for me, I’m always picturing it like that. Like, "Oh, I found another room that I have to look in," and "I haven’t been in this room yet. I’m going to just step my toe in this room and then step back out and maybe I’ll come back again later," and I just love that.
—Nikki Zavitz


The million-room house image is at 43:26 in Deschooling with Nikki Zavitz,
Episode 216 of the Exploring Unschooling Podcast, by Pam Laricchia.
I think that link will take you right to it. You can see Nikki's face light up.
Let her share her vision with you!

I didn't add a photo this time, because the imagery is all in the words.

Tuesday, November 5, 2019

Value, form and substance

My response to this (years ago):
We are going into our third year of "homeschooling." Our first year consisted of complete deschooling. The next year I fell victim to mother panic mode
If I said "I went through a year of demagnetization, and the next year all kinds of metal stuck to me," you might think I hadn't really demagnetized!

Deschooling only works when it works. Doing nothing schoolish isn't the same as actively recovering from school. Kids will get over school gradually, but there needs to be an active unschooling life taking its place as they recover. Parents get over schooling MUCH more gradually, as they were in school more and they have parental fears and responsibilities and pressures from others. So it takes more work and more time for parents to see the value of and to recognize the form and substance of natural learning.


Unschooling - some questions (2003)
photo by Ester Siroky

Saturday, September 21, 2019

Learning not to teach

The more a parent thinks that something needs to be taught,
the less faith they'll have that things can be learned.



Deschooling
photo by Karen James

Saturday, August 10, 2019

Becoming solid

When people first come to unschooling, when they want to be unschoolers, they're basing this on something they read that resonated, or someone they met that they'd like to be more like, which is the way I came to it, but I don't think it will really stick, and be solid in that family or in that person's way of being—in their behaviors and their thoughts—until they see that in their own children.

Until you're doing it not because you think it will work, or because you've heard it will work, or read it will work, but because you've seen it work.
. . . .
Until people get to that point in unschooling, they could relapse. They could easily forget that they wanted their kids to be more like someone else's kids.

But once they get to the point where their confidence in unschooling is not faith in other people, but certain knowledge, direct experience of their own children learning and being at peace, and of the parents learning to see the natural learning that happens when kids just draw for hours, or just play video games for hours, or ride their bike, or play with the dog—when they start seeing those things as equal in learning value, to things that look academic, then it's hard to relapse from certain knowledge.

20:45 in the sound recording of the interview at this link
photo by Emma Marie Forde
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P.S. By the time you get to that point, you probably won't want your kids to be different, but the comparisons are normal before deschooling, and can fade as unschooling ideas permeate and pervade.

Monday, August 5, 2019

Share the glow


One of the best parts of unschooling (of deschooling, really) is reviewing childhood hurts and puzzlements, and NOT passing them on. By being kind to a child, we can feel that kindness for our own childhood selves, and share the glow.

Being your child's PARTNER, not his adversary
photo by Holly Dodd
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Monday, July 15, 2019

Deschooling is healing


Deschooling, when done thoroughly, leads us through all the stages of our own lives, gradually, as our children get older. As each of my children reached the ages in my life that I had stress as a kid, I had emotions arise, again, but with the third it was milder than with the first.

It's healing, to treat our children in ways we wish we had been treated.

When Parents Have Issues
photo by Gail Higgins
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Wednesday, April 3, 2019

A new view


Deschooling means dismantling the overlay of school. Gradually (or just all of a sudden, if you have that ability) stop speaking and thinking in terms of grades, semesters, school-days, education, scores, tests, introductions, reviews, and performance, and replace those artificial strictures and measures with ideas like morning, hungry, happy, new, learning, interesting, playing, exploring and living.

SandraDodd.com/interview
photo by Cathy Koetsier

Tuesday, February 19, 2019

Continuing down the path

Leah Rose wrote:

Unschooling, deschooling, parenting peacefully, all of it called to me, deeply, but it felt like a huge risk, a giant gamble. But I'm so glad we didn't pull back, that we continued down the path. ...

Learning to parent mindfully, keeping my focus in the present, making choices towards peace, towards help and support, is not, as it turns out, much of a gamble or a risk. It is the surest path to connection and trust.
—Leah Rose



SandraDodd.com/guarantees
photo by Nicole Kenyon
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Friday, January 18, 2019

FACT

For building a good relationship, relax about what you think you know. Part of deschooling is reviewing how we learned what we know, and how legitimate that knowledge is.

SandraDodd.com/facts
photo by Jo Isaac


Just for fun, the story of a time when arguing facts was a Bad Idea.


Friday, November 23, 2018

There is no "have to"

It is such a relief to know that there is no requirement here. You can just be yourself and follow what interests you. There is no “have to” hanging over your head...
—Maria Randolph
Deschooling with Maria Randolph, at LivingJoyfully.ca
photo by Robin Bentley