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When your child does sweet and tender things for you, don't brush her aside. Pay attention to nurturing gestures. Acknowledge them. Let your child be your hero sometimes, too.
 | There are WONDROUS things people can do with current technology, and it's likely to get better and better, isn't it? Don't separate your children from the future, from progress, and from understanding and using things just because the parents don't understand them or use them as well as they might. Don't hobble your child out of fear or superstition or trying to impress people you don't even know who want to scare and shame you. Be your child's partner. Lift him up and let him see. |
 | The more you do for children, the less needy they will be. (When your choice is "more or less," go with more.) |
 | Talking about your own frustrations and talking through your own "mistakes," etc, in a light way—not *to* him, but around him, where he can hear you—might be helpful. I did a lot of: "Ooops! I meant to cut the carrots length-wise instead of into circles. No big deal..." or "Hmmmm, I think next time, I'll do X first instead of Y" or whatever—talk to yourself, to your friends, to your partner about how you learn by doing. Short, light observations. No long drawn out monologues. —Brie Jontry |
 | Each child, in the moment, doing something interesting in the presence of a loving parent... that works the same for anyone. |
 | "It's much better to be their partner than their roadblock. If you become an obstacle they'll find a way around you. Is that what you want for your relationship with your kids?" —Joyce Fetteroll |
| I have been as solicitous of my children and their needs and feelings as I could be, and in turn they have grown into generous, kind adults. |  |
| "When kids feel respected, when they've experienced a life time of their desires being respected and supported to find safe, respectful, doable ways to get what they want, kids won't push the envelope into craziness. That behavior just doesn't make sense to them. "Kids who've been controlled focus on pushing against that control, sometimes focus on the hurt of not being accepted for who they are, and do things just because they're not supposed to."
—Joyce Fetteroll
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 | "Don't let fear and worry drive your decisions and interactions with your kids, though. If you focus on joy and partnership, dark corners won't seem dark. You and your kids will be able to illuminate them together through open dialogue and trust." —Jo Isaac |
Instead of "You're the parent, not their friend," substitute, "Be the very very best friend to them you can possibly be."
—Pam Sorooshian
 | Because you become a better partner, that partnership works better. |
| "Young children have limits and boundaries—there are sooooooo many things they can't do for themselves, yet! Their world is full of things that are too big and complex for them to deal with, including their own needs. It's a great gift for them to have a special grown-up friend making their lives sweeter and easier so they can put their energy into exploring the world, not fighting against it." —Meredith Novak |  |
"When kids know their parents are on their sides, when parents help them find safe ways to do what they want to do, then kids do listen when we help them be safe." —Joyce Fetteroll |  |
| Fireworks, candles and seasonal decorations create glowing moments marking the passing of time. None of them will last, but your memories might. Help your children glow. See the light in them. Time is passing. Childhood won't last, but your memories might. |  |
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Sometimes I'm a stagehand. Sometimes I'm the soloist. Sometimes my child is the soloist. What happens with partners is that when one is the soloist, the others still sing backup, or sit in the audience supportively, and meet them at the stage door, figuratively or literally. |
