Showing posts sorted by relevance for query /partners/child. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query /partners/child. Sort by date Show all posts

Thursday, April 26, 2012


Protect your child from bad guys. Anyone who wants to break up your team or bring your relationship into question is a bad guy. Be your child's protector and defender. Be a hero.

When your child does sweet and tender things for you, don't brush her aside. Pay attention to nurturing gestures. Acknowledge them. Let your child be your hero sometimes, too.

From page 67 (or 72) of The Big book of Unschooling
but a good online match is
photo by Sandra Dodd
P.S. Do not make the other parent your bad guy. That harms your child.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Be your child's partner

Be your child's partner, not his adversary.

No child or spouse needs to go through life unsupported, because he has a partner! Maybe more than one. If a child can depend on a parent (maybe two, and maybe a sibling or friend) to help him navigate the world, he won't feel helpless or lonely.
Holly photo

Saturday, March 7, 2015

The wondrous now

metal sculpture on top of a museum wall, with its shadowThere are WONDROUS things people can do with current technology, and it's likely to get better and better, isn't it?

Don't separate your children from the future, from progress, and from understanding and using things just because the parents don't understand them or use them as well as they might. Don't hobble your child out of fear or superstition or trying to impress people you don't even know who want to scare and shame you. Be your child's partner. Lift him up and let him see.
photo by Sandra Dodd, of sculpture and shadows in Albuquerque,
to share around the world, without printing, paper or postage

Friday, November 20, 2020

More or less

The more you do for children, the less needy they will be.

(When your choice is "more or less," go with more.)
Being your child's PARTNER, not his adversary:
photo by Sarah Elizabeth

Friday, April 25, 2014


Supporting someone or something requires strength and confidence.

Support is holding something up.
Support is upholding something.

Support your child. Lift him up above you.

New words, relating to older ideas:
photo by Sandra Dodd

Friday, April 6, 2018

Tales of "Oops"

Advising about an easily frustrated child, Brie Jontry wrote:

Talking about your own frustrations and talking through your own "mistakes," etc, in a light way—not *to* him, but around him, where he can hear you—might be helpful.

I did a lot of: "Ooops! I meant to cut the carrots length-wise instead of into circles. No big deal..." or "Hmmmm, I think next time, I'll do X first instead of Y" or whatever—talk to yourself, to your friends, to your partner about how you learn by doing. Short, light observations. No long drawn out monologues.
—Brie Jontry
photo by Sandra Dodd

Monday, May 28, 2018

Loving presence

Each child, in the moment, doing something interesting in the presence of a loving parent... that works the same for anyone.
Marta Venturini saved this and quoted me in 2012.
photo by Ester Siroky

Wednesday, May 1, 2019

See the good; reflect it back

"Get to know your kids' strengths and set them up to succeed at using those strengths in all kinds of ways. Don't burden them with the perceived shortcomings you find. Let them navigate their own challenges while you focus on their potential. See the good in them and reflect it back. That seems to have been the best gift I've given my own son so far."
photo by Gail Higgins

Friday, October 14, 2011


"It's much better to be their partner than their roadblock. If you become an obstacle they'll find a way around you. Is that what you want for your relationship with your kids?"
—Joyce Fetteroll
photo by Sandra Dodd

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Growing up

I have been as solicitous of my children and their needs and feelings as I could be, and in turn they have grown into generous, kind adults.
photo of Kirby Dodd, probably by Kirby Dodd

Thursday, April 7, 2016

Acceptance and relaxation

"When kids feel respected, when they've experienced a life time of their desires being respected and supported to find safe, respectful, doable ways to get what they want, kids won't push the envelope into craziness. That behavior just doesn't make sense to them.

"Kids who've been controlled focus on pushing against that control, sometimes focus on the hurt of not being accepted for who they are, and do things just because they're not supposed to."
—Joyce Fetteroll
photo by Andrea Taylor

Friday, April 8, 2016

Dark corners, lit up

"Don't let fear and worry drive your decisions and interactions with your kids, though. If you focus on joy and partnership, dark corners won't seem dark. You and your kids will be able to illuminate them together through open dialogue and trust."
—Jo Isaac
photo by Erika Ellis

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Partnering and changing

"Partnering with my children and changing the paradigm in my family—that feels like the ultimate victory to me."
—Janine Davies
photo by Sandra Dodd

Monday, December 12, 2011

The very best friend

Instead of "You're the parent, not their friend," substitute, "Be the very very best friend to them you can possibly be."

—Pam Sorooshian
photo by Sandra Dodd

Sunday, October 14, 2012

A better partner

Because you become a better partner, that partnership works better.
photo by Sandra Dodd; carving by Keith Dodd

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Sweeter and easier

"Young children have limits and boundaries—there are sooooooo many things they can't do for themselves, yet! Their world is full of things that are too big and complex for them to deal with, including their own needs. It's a great gift for them to have a special grown-up friend making their lives sweeter and easier so they can put their energy into exploring the world, not fighting against it."
—Meredith Novak
photo by Sandra Dodd

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Listening and safety

"When kids know their parents are on their sides, when parents help them find safe ways to do what they want to do, then kids do listen when we help them be safe."
—Joyce Fetteroll
two stone arch doors, from above
photo by Sandra Dodd

Tuesday, December 20, 2016


Fireworks, candles and seasonal decorations create glowing moments marking the passing of time. None of them will last, but your memories might.

Help your children glow. See the light in them. Time is passing. Childhood won't last, but your memories might.
photo by Jo Isaac

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Slight shifts

Unschooling is more like a dance between partners who are so perfectly in synch with each other that it is hard to tell who is leading. The partners are sensitive to each others' little indications, little movements, slight shifts and they respond. Sometimes one leads and sometimes the other.
—Pam Sorooshian

Being your child's PARTNER, not his adversary
photo by Sandra Dodd

Friday, November 22, 2019

Supporting the soloist

What is your relationship with your child? The boss? The friend? VARIES depending on project—sometimes I'm the coach or the lead. Sometimes I'm not.

Sometimes I'm a stagehand. Sometimes I'm the soloist. Sometimes my child is the soloist.

What happens with partners is that when one is the soloist, the others still sing backup, or sit in the audience supportively, and meet them at the stage door, figuratively or literally.
Some thoughts about partnerships
photo by Roya Dedeaux