Showing posts sorted by relevance for query /joyce/how. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query /joyce/how. Sort by date Show all posts

Friday, April 11, 2025

How unschooling works

Joyce Fetteroll wrote:

Schooling works by pouring expertly selected bits of the world into a child. (Or trying to, anyway!)

Unschooling works by the child pulling in what he wants and needs. It works best by noticing what the child is asking for and helping him get it. It works best by running the world through their lives so they know what it's possible to be interested in.
. . . .

Real learning travels the child's path of interest, from one bit of information that interests them to the next. Real learning is self testing by how well it works in the situation the child needs it for. Real learning is about understanding enough to make something work.
—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/joyce/how
photo by Roya Dedeaux

Friday, September 1, 2023

Be amazed

When someone asked"What are some good ways to teach a 3 1/2 year old during a grocery store visit?" Joyce Fetteroll responded:

Don't teach. Just look at *everything* with new eyes and you'll see how amazing:
automatic doors and scanners and scales and deli ticket machines are and all the different kinds of fish and lobsters and

how many different sounds you can hear when you close your eyes and

the man wearing a polka dot bow tie and

how high up the cereal is stacked (lift her up to get one🙂) and

whether there are more tie shoes or slip ons on the people in the store and

how you can draw pictures on the inside of the glass doors of the freezer after they're opened and they frost over and

whether the different coffee beans and candles and apples smell different and

whether she likes blueberries or raspberries or blackberries better and

how many different kinds of circle cereal there are and

how the different types of potatoes feel and

whether people say Hi when you say Hi to them and

how many different kitties or different types of pets there are on the products in the pet food aisle and

whether the stories in the Weekly World News are true or not (well, maybe for an older kid since at 3 *anything* is possible) 🙂 and

whether you recognize the Muzak version of the song playing and....
Just live life amazed. 🙂
—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/discovery
photo by Sandra Dodd, 2009, Norfolk, UK
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Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Learning is like a doorway


Joyce Fetteroll wrote:

Learning is defined not just as sucking in information about something the child is interested in. Learning is also figuring out the big picture and how things connect. Figuring out how stuff works, figuring out how people work, making connections, seeing patterns. This is a mechanical, biological process. It's how humans—all learning animals really—naturally learn, how kids are born learning.

Natural learning is like a doorway. We can't change the doorway but we can change the outside world so kids can more easily reach what intrigues them.

SandraDodd.com/joycefetteroll
photo by Sandra Dodd, in Pérouges, France

Monday, December 2, 2024

Finding and using tools

Joyce Fetteroll wrote:

The basic idea of unschooling is that we learn what we need by using it. And that's exactly how kids learn to speak English. Toddlers aren't trying to learn English. They're using a tool (English) to get what they want: which might be juice or a hug or picked up to see better. The English tool is more efficient than other tools they've been using: pointing or crying or wishing. And because English is more efficient, they use it more. And because they use it more, the get better at it. Kids learn English (and everything else) as a *side effect* of living and pursuing what they enjoy.

The theory of school is that someone can't be an engineer until they know everything an engineer needs to know.

But that's not now people learn best. Someone who loves to build things learns how to build things by doing what they love: building things! And since they love to build, they'll be fascinated by things that connect to building. They may be fascinated by history of building or artistic design in building or how structures built with different materials behave or the physics of balance and load distribution and so on and so on.
—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/joyce/products
photo by Roya Dedeaux

Tuesday, June 22, 2021

Both can be right


When I asked Joyce Fetteroll which topics or pages on her site she thought were best for new unschoolers, she responded:

My favorite topics are chores and television so all those pages. One crystal clear "Aha!" moment that drew me toward unschooling came from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk. The authors pointed out how mom could see a situation one way and kids could see a situation a different way and both be right. It was something I knew but had never put into words.

Those two topics, chores and television, encapsulate for me how important for unschooling it is to move our understanding into our kids' points of view. If a mom can understand why her child sees the world as he does, she's miles closer to relating to him. If she can understand why he sees the world as he does—chores as conscripted labor for instance, if she can understand it comes not from lack of understanding the "right" way of seeing the word, if she can understand it comes from being 5 or 10 or 15, she's going to be able to listen and truly hear what he says and be able to respond in a way that relates to his understanding.
—Joyce Fetteroll

A Rich, Supportive Environment,
Joyce Fetteroll interviewed by Sandra Dodd, 2012
photo by Janine Davies

Friday, March 24, 2017

Be that way

Joyce Fetteroll wrote:

Treat them the way you want them to treat others - It's easy to be nice when the kids are nice. The kids need to see how people (you) can be patient and kind when life isn't going smoothly. They need to see how to work with someone whose view is different. They will get to see that by how you treat them when their view is different from yours. If you treat their needs and feelings as less important, they'll learn to treat other's needs and feelings as less important. And then when you're old and bedridden, they'll say, "No, you don't need more tea, no, you don't need to finish that TV program. I have other things to do than tending to your needs. Can't you see how busy I am?"
—Joyce Fetteroll



SandraDodd.com/happychildhood
photo by Erika Andromeda, of a patient child and his well-loved Great Grannny

Saturday, April 27, 2024

Learning how to make decisions


Joyce Fetteroll wrote:

Some people, such as those who are naturally drawn to rules, who live under limitations accept the rules and stick to them. They live in fear and the rules are like talismans that will keep the boogeyman away. What happens when they are faced with new situations that they don't have rules in place for? People often extrapolate from the nonsense and extend the rules. But rational thought would reveal shoddy foundations for decision making.

If the reasons behind rules make sense, then there isn't a reason to make a rule. But people who follow rules aren't learning how to make decisions. They are only learning to follow someone else's rules.

If the reasons behind rules are nonsense, then people memorize nonsense and use that as a foundation for decision making.

—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/joyce/logic
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Many, many ideas

Joyce wrote:

There is probably not an idea about how to be with kids that you have that we haven't seen and turned over. (Sounds a bit snooty!) What I mean is, that 1000's of people have wandered by us with the ideas they have. We've held them up for examination to see "Is this respectful? How does this help a child? How does this hurt a child? Is there a better way that will nurture him *and* help him?"
—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/confidence
photo by Karen James
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Friday, April 4, 2025

Will they learn...

QUESTION: But I wonder how we are preparing them for adulthood then?

Joyce Fetteroll's
ANSWER:
How did you prepare your newborn to be a toddler? How did you prepare your toddler to be a 6 yo?

They learn what they need now. The nows just naturally keep coming along and the kids end up where they are today already knowing what they needed last year and acquiring what they need for today.



I love Joyce's answers. My own to such questions has usually been "Does high school prepare people for adulthood? Does a university degree teach them everything they need to know?"

Will they learn all they need to know?
photo by Karen James
(of water on an artichoke)

Friday, December 16, 2011

A million-piece puzzle

Today I'm quoting something Joyce Fetteroll wrote on Always Learning yesterday:

The way schools get academics into kids goes against how we're naturally wired to learn. It's very hard for humans to memorize someone else's understanding of the world and then make sense of it. That's why it takes so long in school. It's why kids can "pass" classes and yet still have little practical understanding of what's been pushed in their heads.

We're hard wired to pull understanding out of life. We're pattern seeking creatures. Natural learning often doesn't look like much of anything from the outside. But it's like working on a million-piece jigsaw puzzle. Kids are working here and there, jumping all over the place, spending a chunk of time in one area, then seemingly abandoning it for another. It doesn't look like progress. But by the time they're teens, the connections they've been creating between all the areas they've been working on shows. And it's not a bunch of memorized facts (that will fade) but a deeper understanding of how things work.

Whereas the kids in school have been told what pieces to put where and how to put them in, to drop that interesting piece because it's not part of the curriculum. By the time they hit middle school most are ready to slam the door on the puzzle and have nothing more to do with it.
—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/connections
photo by Sandra Dodd, and it's a link
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Sunday, February 2, 2014

Happiness, excitement and enthusiasm

Joyce wrote:

"You can learn a lot by letting go of what you think you're seeing and really look."


"Don't fear your children's happiness, excitement and enthusiasm. Your kids are already experts on learning. You knew it all once too. But it's gotten buried beneath layers of "expert" ideas on how and what kids need to learn *in school*. You can learn a lot by letting go of what you think you're seeing and really look."
—Joyce Fetteroll


The quote was a light in a darker discussion.
More by Joyce Fetteroll
photo by Karen James
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Sunday, January 29, 2012

Birds


Joyce Fetteroll wrote:

To unschool, you begin with your child's interests. If she's interested in birds, you read—or browse, toss aside, just look at the pictures in—books on birds, watch videos on birds, talk about birds, research and build (or buy) bird feeders and birdhouses, keep a journal on birds, record and ponder their behavior, search the web for items about birds, go to bird sanctuaries, draw birds, color a few pictures in the Dover Birds of Prey coloring book, play around with feathers, study Leonardo DaVinci's drawings of flying machines that he based on birds, watch Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds."

But DON'T go whole hog on this. Gauge how much to do and when by your child's reactions. Let her say no thanks. Let her choose. Let her interest set the pace. If it takes years, let it take years. If it lasts an hour, let it last an hour.
—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/joyce/steps
原文链接 (Chinese and English both)
photo by Sandra Dodd

Friday, February 21, 2025

Learning let loose

Joyce Fetteroll wrote:

Don't worry if you don't know the answers. Anyone can look up the answers. Few can ask the questions.

As a real-life example, by watching Xena and reading Little Town on the Prairie, my daughter was exposed to three references to Julius Caesar, Brutus, and Marc Antony. She doesn't "know" Roman history now, but she's got a hook or point of reference to build from tomorrow, next week, three years from now: "You remember Julius Caesar. The guy Xena hates."

Unfortunately we learned in school that learning is locked up in books and reading is the only way to get to it. It's not. It's free. We're surrounded by it. We just need to relearn how to recognize it in its wild state.
—Joyce Fetteroll

Five Steps to Unschooling
https://sandradodd.com/joyce/steps

photo by Roya Dedeaux

Monday, July 29, 2013

Learning in the wild

Joyce Fetteroll wrote:

Unfortunately we learned in school that learning is locked up in books and reading is the only way to get to it. It's not. It's free. We're surrounded by it. We just need to relearn how to recognize it in its wild state."
—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/joyce/steps
photo by Colleen Prieto
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Thursday, August 3, 2023

Examine ideas yourself

Joyce Fetteroll wrote:

If a parent has found something that works for their family without understanding why it worked and how much personality played in it, then for others it's little better than rolling dice and picking some technique at random.

On the other hand, those who are living examined lives. thinking about and discussing why something works in the context of growing relationships, that's way better than dice! And no one should swallow what's said uncritically. They should take it in, turn it over, ask questions and examine it for themselves.

Critical examination is better for reaching clear goals than pretty sentiments of "following the heart" and "mom knows best."

—Joyce Fetteroll, 2008


SandraDodd.com/joyce/followyourheart
photo by Vlad Gurdiga

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Unexpected skills


Joyce Fetteroll's daughter Kathryn has played electric guitar for years now, but here is something Joyce wrote at the beginning of all that:


Kat (who's 14) is taking guitar lessons for the first time. Her teacher was impressed that she could read and play the notes without looking at the fret bar and wondered how she could do that if she'd never played before. Kat replied "Three years of playing video games!" She said he laughed.
—Joyce

SandraDodd.com/joycefetteroll
photo by Sandra Dodd

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Learning that looks like play

Joyce Fetteroll wrote:

Learning that's pulled in will look like play. It will look like kids engaged with what interests them. That might be a video game or helping rake the yard or TV shows or getting a job to earn money or taking classes in college.

The unnerving thing is that it looks like very little is going in! But the important-to-learning part happens inside: kids pull in information to use it for reasons that matter to them. They use it to solve problems. They use it to create and test theories of how the world works. What you use, sticks with you.

—Joyce Fetterol


SandraDodd.com/hsc/interviews/joyce
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Sunday, October 20, 2024

School learning vs. real learning

School learning is like being told how to assemble the dragon piece of the jigsaw, which pieces to put where and in what order. And then the cat. And then the book. And then the bird. And you must do it in that order the way they tell you because they're teaching you how to assemble jigsaw puzzles and that can't be left to chance. Unfortunately by the time you're done with the process you're so sick of jigsaw puzzles you have no interest in doing them yourself and never see how the dragon and cat connect and don't even care.

Real learning is doing that billion piece jigsaw puzzles however you please. Or running off to watch TV. Or chase the dog. 🙂
—Joyce Fetteroll

A million-piece puzzle
photo by Gail Higgins
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Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Examined lives

Today I'm quoting Joyce Fetteroll:

If a parent has found something that works for their family without understanding why it worked and how much personality played in it, then for others it's little better than rolling dice and picking some technique at random.

On the other hand, those who are living examined lives. thinking about and discussing why something works in the context of growing relationships, that's way better than dice! And no one should swallow what's said uncritically. They should take it in, turn it over, ask questions and examine it for themselves.

Critical examination is better for reaching clear goals than pretty sentiments of "following the heart" and "mom knows best."

SandraDodd.com/joyce/followyourheart
photo by Sandra Dodd
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A collection of bad ideas: "Support"
A collection of good ideas: my Joyce page

Saturday, August 18, 2018

Let go and look

Joyce wrote:

"You can learn a lot by letting go of what you think you're seeing and really look."


"Don't fear your children's happiness, excitement and enthusiasm. Your kids are already experts on learning. You knew it all once too. But it's gotten buried beneath layers of "expert" ideas on how and what kids need to learn *in school*. You can learn a lot by letting go of what you think you're seeing and really look."
—Joyce Fetteroll


The quote was a light in a darker discussion.
More by Joyce Fetteroll
photo by Karen James
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