Myths and alarm clocks

A myth and boogie-man:

"If children are allowed sleep as late as they want, they'll never be able to get up and go to work."

I have three children (at this writing 16, 19 and 21), all of whom have had jobs, none of whom has failed to learn to use an alarm clock and good judgment, none of whom has ever been let go from a job, all of whom have been free to sleep or get up for 16 years or more (depending). If there were no other refutation of the myth above than this, it would be sufficient.

It's also worth noting that none of those jobs have been "regular hours." Shifts have started as early as 6:30 a.m. and ended as late as 3:00 a.m. Good thing they were well prepared by years of irregular sleep!

SandraDodd.com/myths
That was written ten years ago, so my "children" this month are are 26, 28 and 31.
They have had even MORE jobs with odd hours, and sometimes "normal" hours.
photo by Janine Davies

Improved selves

Part of becoming a good unschooling parent does involve self-reflection, a review of one's own childhood (gradually, in the background of one's new thoughts and plans) and some recovery from that, which is wonderfully aided by treating our children as we wish we might have been treated.

Parents, in order to have their children trust them, should become trustworthy.

SandraDodd.com/trust
photo by Janine

Joyous and hopeful

"I don't remember when I first read Sandra's writings but I do remember what I felt when I first read them. Hopeful, inspired, hungry.... "She has this big idea that the lives of children can be joyous and hopeful and that's a remarkable thing."

Request for Assistance 2017
photo by Janine, this week
words by Deb Lewis, long ago

Own the good stuff

If parents retain ownership of their children's learning,
the children cannot learn on their own.


What I've just said above is / will be / has been misinterpreted to mean the parents should throw up their hands, back off, and not say a word. That's not what I mean at all. Possibly the very same interactions can occur, but the balance of power and responsibility can change by changing the phrasing and definitions.
Own joy management, or trust-earning or something.
SandraDodd.com/parentalauthority
photo by Janine Davies
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Being and providing

Being the sort of parent you wish you had had, and providing an environment you would like to have had as a child, is probably the easiest and most direct way to move toward being a good unschooler.

photo by Janine
words by Sandra, in a fleeting context
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The peace path

"Unschooling helped us both to really walk the peace path, and not just talk about it." —Janine Davies

SandraDodd.com/peace
words and photo by Janine

Those flowers bloomed.

I have saved this, text and images, from something Janine Davies posted:

Kes has loved the film Wall-E since he first saw it, age 3. ❤️

He has watched it over and over ✨

When his snow boots didn’t fit him this winter and we bought him new ones, he said, “I’m going to grow a flower in my boot just like in Wall-E.”

He planted seeds in both boots back in early spring and today those flowers bloomed. 🌼🌼💛💛

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The plant from Wall-E

SandraDodd.com/peace
top photo by Janine Davies, 1 July 2018

Do more

If you think you haven't done enough for your children lately, do more.

Maintain and replenish
photo by Janine

Tied up in words

Thinking you "have to" do something keeps you from making a choice.

SandraDodd.com/wordswords
photo by Janine

"I hope you don't mind"

Dylan isn't twelve anymore; Deb Lewis still writes beautifully.

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Yesterday was David's birthday and we had guests. I left dishes in the sink when I went to bed. I got up early with the dogs but then went back to bed. When I got up later Dylan had done the dishes.He said "I know you really like to do the dishes mom, so I hope you don't mind, but I just felt like doing them."

Dylan is twelve.

I *know* living life joyfully makes a difference in the way our kids see us and the way they see the little things that make life better.

—Deb Lewis

SandraDodd.com/chores/tales
photo by Janine Davies
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Going forward

Janine Davies wrote:

Respectful parenting and parenting for social change is where my main focus is now, and of course radical unschooling is all those things and more. For me, that all begins and ends with being a good mum in the eyes and minds of my children, and going forward being remembered as a kind respectful and happy mum—someone they could trust implicitly, and who was their partner and friend.

Hopefully they will then carry that forward to how they treat their children, regardless of what the current trend is, or fears they have, or the current scaremongering circulating. Even if they don't have children of their own, my hope is that they treat and speak to all children that they come in contact with throughout their lives with the same respect and kindness that they afford their partners and friends, and that they treat them like the people they are.

—Janine Davies

SandraDodd.com/janine/success
photo by Jihong Tang
(her son's painting, left)

Flexibility and change

"Be prepared to be flexible and willing to change as your child gets older." —Emily Strength

SandraDodd.com/sleeping
photo by Janine

Restful

If you get to sleep for a long time, be glad. If your sleep is interrupted, try to be like a cat, and just accept it. Measuring sleep and being angry about the clock will lead to neither peace nor rest.

Children will wake you up. Breathe in love and remain restful.

SandraDodd.com/peace/
photo by Janine Davies

Easier to jump

Humor is a great warm-up for any thinking. If one's mind can jump to get a joke, it will be easier for it to jump to synthesize any ideas, to make a complex plan, to use a tool in an unexpected way, to understand history and the complexities of politics. If a child can connect something about a food with a place name or an article of clothing, parents shouldn't worry that he hasn't memorized political boundaries or the multiplication table.

SandraDodd.com/connections/jokes
photo by Janine Davies
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Sand and water

Play with sand and water. Find seeds. Sit in the shade, and in the sun. Set ice in the shade and in the sun. Write with ice on a sunny sidewalk.

SandraDodd.com/substance
photo by Janine

Deposit the good stuff.

When people ask about being happier and more positive, the answer can't help but be the same. BE happier. BE positive.

But as with any accounting (think a bank account), withdrawals deplete your reserves. Every negative word, thought or deed takes peace and positivity out of your account. Cynicism, sarcasm—which some people enjoy and defend—are costly, if your goal is peace.


SandraDodd.com/negativity (which is really about positivity)
photo by Janine
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Happy wherever

When you get better at being happy wherever you are, you can worry less about where you go.

SandraDodd.com/unexpected
photo by Janine Davies

Framing the sky

From inside the house, windows frame the sky. That can be beautiful.

Outside, you might be where trees, or mountains make a border for a cloud show.

Perhaps you see the sun set on water, or desert plants. Maybe familiar buildings are what the sun goes behind, from your point of view.

Don't forget to look, sometimes, at the beauty you can view nearby.

The abundance of possibilities
photo by Janine Davies, in the south east of England

May Flowers

An American riddle:

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?

Ah, wait. It's one of those riddles that can only be spoken, and not written.

Well the answer is "Pilgrims," but if it were written the right way it would be "Mayflowers." There was only one ship called "The Mayflower," though, because that's why they were named, to tell them apart.

If you don't get that joke, that's okay. You probably know lots of jokes I wouldn't get, or that only work with a certain accent, or knowledge of local town names, or knowledge of two languages.

The more you know, the more jokes you can get!

To Get More Jokes or "Thinking and Learning and Bears"
photo by Janine Davies
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Water play

Remember these moments, when simple things make the normal world magical.

Provide for the possibility of these moments.

SandraDodd.com/water
photo by Janine Davies
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