Your own certain knowledge

Vague interest can turn to trust in others' accounts of learning and of parenting successes. Trust in those stories can give us courage to experiment, and from that we can discover our own proofs and truths to share with newer unschoolers, who might find courage from that to try these things themselves. Faith in others can only take us a little way, though, and then our own children's learning will carry us onward.

Some ideas become theories. A few theories might turn to convictions. Some early thoughts will be abandoned; others will gain substance. After much thought and use, what is left will be what you believe because you have lived it.

SandraDodd.com/knowledge
photo by Cátia Maciel

Simple and very difficult

Pam Sorooshian wrote:

An unschooling parent needs to be fully present with their kids, sensitive to their kids' needs, and extremely respectful of their kids' interests. This is simple and very difficult, at the same time. It is so simple, it really asks so little of us, as parents, to pay attention to what "is" right in front of us. But it is very very difficult to do, sometimes, especially when what our kids are presenting to us appears to us to be negative or dull or unproductive.

—Pam Sorooshian
(more, with examples)

SandraDodd.com/being
photo by Jihong Tang

Making one move

When Kirby and Marty were little, and playing with toys, Marty said "Pause it!" when he needed to leave for a moment, but wanted Kirby to wait for him. He was used to watching video tapes, and playing Nintendo.

The concept of a time-out lives more largely in younger people than in some of their parents. It's GOOD to wait a moment, to stop, to await others' input.

Human interactions should be like games, sometimes—after I "move," I can wait while the other person makes a move, a comment, a response. Then it might be my turn again.

SandraDodd.com/decisions
photo by Cátia Maciel

Crazy-large vocabulary

Some languages are simpler than English in that the letters and sounds match pretty consistently. French and Spanish come to mind. German. But because of something that happened in 1066, and because of the history of The British Isles, and because of the isolation of some English speakers and the migration of many others, English has complexities and a crazy-large vocabulary. Our basic grammar and language are Germanic. The majority of our vocabulary is from French (look up 1066 if you don't remember what happened) and Latin, though the everyday words we use are from Anglo Saxon, which had borrowings from half a dozen Germanic dialects.

If that was a painful paragraph to read, never mind it. If that paragraph was fun for you, then you can help your children spell by looking up what language a word is from and figuring out why it looks the way it does in written English.

SandraDodd.com/phonics
(Phonics, thoughts, trivia)
photo by Roya Dedeaux

How will they learn everything they need to know?

"How will they learn everything they need to know?"

Do the best of the high school graduates know everything they need to know? No, and at some point, ideally, they start learning on their own. Some fail to get to that point, though. Unschooled kids have a head start. They know how to find what they need to know, and they have not been trained to ignore things that won't be on the test.


SandraDodd.com/seeingit
photo by Sandra Dodd

Thinking and watching

Annie Kessler wrote:

I used to honestly believe that my son was really sensitive to sugar and that consuming it changed his behavior in negative ways. Then someone (at an unschooling conference) mentioned some of these ideas—how sometimes we blame behaviors on something like sugar but the problem is really *our* own perception of what is going on and not the actual reality of what is happening. They said it more clearly than that, but that's what I took away from it and when I really thought about it and examined the situation and really watched my child I could see that it was true.
. . . . I am glad that someone pointed this out to me and that I was ready to hear it at the time. I'm glad to see some of the same ideas coming up here because there might be someone else like me out there.

—Annie Kessler

SandraDodd.com/eating/sugar
photo by Sandra Dodd
cupcakes decorated by younger Devyn Dodd

Comfort and support

I was planning to borrow an older post for today's post. Intending to see whether I had already repeated it, I accidentally put it into Google instead of Just Add Light and Stir's search bar.

The quote was this:

Taking food to someone who is reading or playing a game or watching a movie and just putting it where he or she can reach it without any instructions, warnings or reminders is a great gift. It is a simple gesture, and a profound service.

Those were my words, and they went with this photo, by Hinano:


The mistake triggered Google's AI to expand on the quote for me, and it was quite good:

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This statement highlights a profound act of service: offering sustenance without disrupting someone's flow. By delivering food silently and without demands, you show care, respect their focus, and nurture them, turning a simple, quiet gesture into a meaningful gift of comfort and support.

Key Aspects of This Gesture:

• Respects Autonomy: It allows the person to consume the food at their own pace without interruption.


• Reduces Cognitive Load: It eliminates the need for conversation, instructions, or decisions.


• Provides Comfort: It demonstrates thoughtfulness and care for their physical well-being while they are engaged in an activity.


• Simple yet Profound: It shows that serving someone doesn't need to be elaborate to be deeply appreciated.

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Original, 2016:
Small things are big
photo by Hinano