Direct seeing

As long as you look for what is and isn't authentic you'll be missing what is actually happening.

SandraDodd.com/authentic
photo by Marty Dodd, in Anchorage

History at your house

You could have a checklist scavenger hunt in your house. Do you have something from each decade of the past hundred years? I nominate this glass, from my stuff, for the 1960's, though it might be '50s.

You could look for things from different continents, at the same time. And things made of different materials—glass, stoneware, tile, wood, particular metals, bamboo or rattan, cardboard (other than a plain cardboard box), rubber (real rubber), vinyl, different types of cloth.

You could photograph them and make a blog post or a little scrapbook.

History in your hand

Normal or exotic?

The good stuff

like pulling a bouquet of flowers out of a wand

photo by Sandra Dodd
and here's the other side of it

Feral preferences

From a discussion of kids' programs, in 2004:

Hate isn't a good thing to harbor or defend, or to expect your children to have. Learning to see things without a rush of emotion is good for people, and it's good to model that for children, too.

Hatred itself (hating, strong negativity) is harmful to the hater and to the environment.

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"Hate" is a set of biochemicals that will not let love and open acceptance in until hate settles down, so moms hoping to build a peaceful learning nest for children should be using the best materials they have, physical or emotional or otherwise. Hate, jealousy, resentment and those sharp and separating emotions are not nesting materials.

"I hate to play!"
Links at top there have the original post and earlier comments.

Open gates to peaceful places
photo by Cátia Maciel

What if, what if?

When you don't know what to do, try not to do anything.

Wait a bit.    Think.

Breathe.       Smile.

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SandraDodd.com/breathing
photo by Sandra Dodd
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TV, games, or any video media

Years back, a group of families traded babysitting. Kirby had a favorite family to visit, where there were several kids who knew and liked him. When interviewed ten years later, I responded:

When Kirby was four or five, they had a Nintendo and we didn't, but [they] kept it up in the closet. Once Kirby played it, he always wanted to play it when he went over. Our simple solution to that was to buy him a Nintendo. After that, when he went to their house, he played in the yard.

They only used their TV for the Nintendo (when it was out, for a measured session) or for videos (sometimes, not much). When those kids came to our house, they only wanted to watch TV.... If TV has never been limited or demonized, it will never be so mesmerizing.

There is another factor that will make it mesmerizing for children: depression and a need to escape. Kids who hate their lives are better off focusing on the TV so strongly that they don't even see the wall behind it. Sometimes it's their only way out of the room. ... But if the TV is just one of a myriad of interesting things, and the room is a happy place, and there are others watching TV and it will lead to conversations, singing, research, drawing, play-acting and dress-up, it's not so mesmerizing.

SandraDodd.com/screentime.html
photo by Sandra Dodd, of Kirby (middle)
playing with a five-year-old, in 2014 or so

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That day, what came out to the interviewer was "Kids who hate their lives..." but any kid who is stressed and stuck might need such an escape; it's not unhealthy.

Quietly home

Response to a mom who expressed concern about the social outgoingness of a young teen:

Consider the value of letting him be the star of his own life, even if it's quieter than you might like.

What if your child is an introvert?
SandraDodd.com/introvert
photo by Ester Siroky

More than one chair

Deb Lewis wrote:

If your daughter doesn't want to leave something interesting to go to the table to eat, take food to her. Sit with her and eat together. That's the same kind of sharing you could do at a table. Food eaten in front of the TV or computer with a happy mom who is interested in you is much better than food shared in grudging silence and anger. Wouldn't you be grateful to a friend who brought you food if you were in the middle of something important? I'm always grateful when my husband brings home a pizza or Chinese food when I'm having a really busy day.

Get another computer as soon as you can. If you had only one plate wouldn't you get another? If you had only one chair, wouldn't you get another? Don't fight over life's conveniences. What a terrible waste of time.

—Deb Lewis

That's the end of something good, and longer, at
SandraDodd.com/deblewis.
photo by Jihong Tang