Wednesday, November 27, 2024

Natural feelings

Unschoolers have sometimes found that their children know whether they're hungry, and what they're hungry for, in the absence of scheduled, pre-prepared meals that they're pressed to eat. Unschoolers have discovered that in the absence of an enforced bedtime, kids can feel when they're tired, and will lie down.

One interesting side benefit of unschooling can be that the parents can begin, themselves, to feel those natural feelings. It can help if they are biological parents and experienced the change that can naturally happen when seeing (touching, smelling, hearing) one's own newborn. Not every parent changes, but most do. Some adoptive parents can get a wave of instinct (whatever that biochemically-triggered parenting effect is) that can change them, too.

SandraDodd.com/instinct
photo by Kinsey Norris

Tuesday, November 26, 2024

Affecting emotions

Can you control your child's emotions? No.
Can you affect your child's emotions? Yes. Everything you do, while you have an infant or young child, will affect that child's emotions.

Can you control your own emotions? Not entirely.
Can you affect your own emotions? Absolutely.

SandraDodd.com/emotion / Emotional Perspective
photo by Paul Collins
of Sandra and Holly Dodd
(as Ælflæd and Asta)

Monday, November 25, 2024

Limiting Limitations

fruit display at an outdoor market

There are arbitrary limits that parents just make up, or copy from the neighbors. Then there are limits that have to do with laws, rules, courtesy, tact, circumstances, traditions and etiquette.

SandraDodd.com/coaching
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Sunday, November 24, 2024

Know what you mean

Favorite response to “What about socialization?”
I say "What do you mean?"

Usually the question is asked by rote, the same way adults ask stranger-children "Where do you go to school?" Most people just blink and stammer, because they don't even know what they meant when they asked it.
—Sandra Dodd

From a questionnaire, bottom of some questions
(with links to other sets of questions and answers)
photo by Colleen Prieto


There was an error in the e-mail version, which went to this related page Those pages are better linked back and forth now, too.

Saturday, November 23, 2024

Food, shelter, pizzazz

Seasons change, and creatures look for a place to be, near something to eat.

If you're providing food and shelter for your children, good job! If you can look cool while doing it, with a bit of style and pizzazz, bonus for everyone.

Fill your shelter with peace and patience.

Building an Unschooling Nest
photo by Karen James

Friday, November 22, 2024

Thank them

Joyce Feteroll wrote:

Thank them! Even if they haven't done it the way you would. Even if they've done less than you think they're capable of. Thank them. They've set aside time from something they find valuable to do something for you. Appreciate that they're willing to do that for you. The more they feel appreciated for what they choose to give, the more they will give when they're able. People want to feel they're appreciated.
—Joyce Fetteroll

SandraDodd.com/chores/appreciation
photo by Sarah S.

Thursday, November 21, 2024

Automotive peace

Me, from a gratitude discussion in 2016:

Years back when I had three kids who ate in the van and cup holders would have ketchup in them and stuff, I dreamed of growing up and getting a nice Buick sedan when the kids were grown.

The other day Keith and I saw a nice Buick sedan. I said that was supposed to be my car someday, and Keith said still could be. But I think after this used minivan dies, I need to get another used minivan. And if pressed to choose a nice sedan right now, it would likely be a Hyundai Sonata.

I had not factored in grandchildren, or needing to take six people to a play or out to dinner.

I think I would rather clean ketchup out of drink holders and have people smiling and laughing in my used minivan than to have a quiet, soft luxury car I would need to fill with "no" and "don't."
SandraDodd.com/gratitude
(the writing isn't there, but the warmth is)
photo by Sandra Dodd, in Old Town, Albuquerque

I had parallel-parked that van on a one-way circuit around the plaza. I parked in a tight spot, on the left side, and was proud. A man sitting on the bench gave me a thumbs-up for the smooth parking. When we came back, the other cars were gone so it didn't look impressive anymore.
Chrysler "Town & Country" mini-van; nice auto.