Not so extreme, please

If the old rules were that school is vital and "an education" (defined as the curriculum of an ideal school) is necessary, will the new rules be that school is not important and an education is not necessary? We don't make school disappear by turning the other way. It's still there. Our kids might want to go to school someday, in some form. We don't deny that knowledge is important by becoming unschoolers, but many come to prefer the idea of "learning" with its vast possibilities over the narrower "education."

SandraDodd.com/balance
photo by Sandra Dodd
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Hearing, seeing, thinking more clearly

It helps to hear what you say (read what you write) as clearly as you can. And then to hear what you think, about your children and your life, as clearly as you can.

SandraDodd.com/moderation
photo by Eileen Mahowald, of a dog

A living, breathing thing

Unschooling lives (is alive; breathes; functions) where the learning is happening. The learning is supported and fed by the relationships between the parents and children.

Not changing (where unschooling is compared to fire)
photo by Ester Siroky

Safer thinking

When a rules-based environment causes rule-breaking, and failure, or balking and resistance, those things are not safe—not physically nor emotionally.

Be expansive in thinking about safety. That's safer.

SandraDodd.com/safe
photo by Cathy Koetsier

Seeing people as people

Response to this question:

At what age did you begin providing regular social interactions with other children?

I will say "from birth" and then I will ask you to replace "other children" with "other people."

Tadaa!!!
Your problem is schoolish.
You're believing that five year old girls need to play with a dozen other five year old girls. If you turn 180 degrees away from the myth and fantasy of how many friends kids have at school, and look at the real world in which you plan to live, things will look different.

Find people to visit, find places to go where other people will be. Begin to see people as people, rather than as pre-schoolers or school-age, or second grade. Just practicing that will take you MUCH nearer to peace about interactions with other people.

SandraDodd.com/deschooling
photo by Roya Dedeaux

Hours and days of joyful time

Response to this:

I tend to err on the side of just spending time together.

Don't think of it as erring.

And don't think of it as "just" spending time together.

SPEND freely of copious hours and days of joyful time together.

Don't just spend time together.

SandraDodd.com/being
photo by Rosie Moon

Odd realities

Many years ago I had a profound moment, watching a family therapist/psychologist on Phil Donahue's talk show. He said many family problems come from two extrovert parents having an introvert child, and thinking something is wrong with him. Or two introvert parents having an extrovert child and thinking he needs to be medicated or something.

IF (if) that situation is at play, and IF (if) the parents aren't able to get out naturally and comfortably, school might be a good tool—not to present it as the place to "get an education," but to use it as a place for the child to meet and be with lots of other people. If it gets old or irritating, let him come back home.

This is an older article, but some truths might still be gleaned. 🙂 SandraDodd.com/schoolchoice

What if your child is an introvert?
photo by Cátia Maciel (in Morocco)