Hale and whole

Looking at what a child (or oneself) CAN do well is better (in time, emotion, confidence, relationships) than finding why he's off, or faulty. Help your child feel hale and whole.

SandraDodd.com/normal
photo by... someone with Cátia Maciel's camera maybe
(photo sent by Cátia Maciel)

...never say "having screentime"

If an adult is using a television set, or a laptop computer, or a smartphone, and somebody asks them what they are doing they will say "watching the game" or "reading on Wikipedia" or "texting my friend." They will never say "having screentime."

—Virginia Warren

SandraDodd.com/screentime/not
photo by Janine Davies

Pets

Many unschoolers have reported changed feelings about pets, and successes in extending newfound principles to animal friends and companions.

SandraDodd.com/pets
photo by Sandra Dodd, of a stile in England
for humans and dogs

(Officially, humans over and dogs through, though I'm sure young children love going through. This was not farmland.)

Purposes and choices in the moment

When someone questioned "purpose," I responded:

I didn't say "live your live with a purpose," though. Not a singular overriding goal that would cause any other outcome to be failure. That's what some people mean when they say "a purpose," but I didn't say "a purpose." It makes a world of difference.

I was talking about individual situations, projects, days, ways to decide. Not about a whole life.

People do that with decisions, too, sometimes. When we talk about making decisions within unschooling discussions, it's not something like "I made the decision to be an unschooler." It's small decisions in the moment, right before each action or response, about what to have for lunch, where and how and why.

SandraDodd.com/choices
photo by Janine Davies, of a stile in England

Teens can feel crowded

[Teens can feel crowded] by the new and real knowledge that the house is small and the world is huge.

Baby birds have no idea what's outside that nest.

Young children will occasionally find some corner of the house, some closet or a wall surface that was always covered by furniture before and they are not surprised that there are parts of that house they had never seen before. The house is everything.

Teenagers know they are meant to get up and go out. They're not happy about it, sometimes, especially when their house is a haven of love and sweetness and creativity, but their instincts kick in anyway and their perspective changes, very literally, and that nest seems like just a little wad of sticks on one little branch of one of ten thousand trees....

Crowded by their new awarenesses and raging hormones and their relative size (their rooms and beds are getting smaller by the day) and their collections of stuffed animals and action figures and Lego.

Sandra
(January 2000, with one teen and two pre-teens then)

SandraDodd.com/teen/crowded
photo of Holly Dodd on her way to a party

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This photo was in the Just Add Light folder for many, many years, waiting for a quote or topic it might slightly match.
Good enough.

Knowledge, real and useful

A mom posting as "Scooter," in 2001, wrote:

I personally believe that most knowledge, no matter how trivial or useless to anyone else, is just as important as what most people consider useful knowledge.

I responded:

This is dangerously radical thought and I agree with it wholeheartedly.

If one person builds muscle under the direction of a coach using gym equipment, and another builds muscle chopping wood and doing yardwork, which is better? Which muscles are more real? Which muscles are more useful? Which are more moral? What does the person need muscles for? Was the activity engaged in for the purpose of building visible, oilable muscles?

When schools teach to the test and drill kids on "useful" information, what happens inside and outside the school, the teacher, the student, the parent?

archived, about a dozen posts down there
(sorry I can't link more directly)
photos by Ester Siroky

Action, patience and observation

Read a little, try a little, wait a while, watch.

Reading does nothing without action. Action does nothing without patience and observation. When you know a little, more of the readings will make sense.

SandraDodd.com/readalittle
photo by Tessa Onderwater